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New Blog addy

2009-08-08T22:56:00.004+08:00

Hiya, to whoever's reading this blog, I've moved the blog to http://joellegohkl.blogspot.com

It's much easier to remember if you know me...anyway, I'll be blogging my first entry after so long next, so do stay tuned.

cheers~

A new phrase in life

2008-07-06T15:32:00.003+08:00

After so long since I last did anything to this blog, I've decided to pop in with this new entry to record down what I've been doing.

There are so many things going on, I really dont know where to start.

Anyway, lets start with education:
I've enrolled into UniSIM and the undergraduate programme will commence on the 21st this month. As much excitement is going on, I saw some of my friends got worn out because of the part-time education they are involved in, which got me really worried if I'm up to it. I'm so afraid that I want to just give up and let my results slip, just like what happened in Poly. I kinda let go of my modules by skipping school and my GPA dropped drastically with one supp paper (which I do not intend to have throughout the whole course). I just need to get this straight to myself and really finsish this course, and go to some good game development or graphic design company.

My work has been fulfilling, with some challenges as well as some lecturing from TL and manager on my inability to say 'No'. Also have a rather tough user with some conflict involved but it's all fine now. At least I'm making progress in work. Had some bonus this month and I want to use part of the bonus for dearie's germany aerospace student exchange programme, also to put in some money on a new gold necklace for my baby bro, Lucius, on his lunar b'dae (eve of mooncake festival), and to get a new pair of spectacles to replace my four-yr old no-lenses-changed spectacle (but this is claimable! =P).

My family has been really peaceful, but the main focus is to make sure that Lucius can crawl before Sept. I've also gotten my grandparents to lend me some money for my undergraduate programme. I think I'm so full of pride because the lending period to get me into the programme has been...well, I'm not sure which word to put in..it's not humiliating, as I'm trying to give myself a chance to be better than who I am now. Neither is it hurtful because my grandparents never put me on the spot or anything. It's just that I'm not used to asking for money (it's like that since young. Either my mum put my allowance beside my bed or not at all. I'll never ask for it.). Maybe it's like a test to show how much I want to learn what I'm interested in.

Nothing much is going on between dearie and me. The life we're leading is quite routined. I certainly hope marriage life for the first 5 yrs are not like that.

Well, enough said. I'm going off for some fun.

Cheers~

New yr resolution

2007-12-31T10:51:00.001+08:00

today is the last day of new year..
n i'm not sure if i'm just going to bypass such a wonderful day..
because there's a 60-40 chance that I might not be able to go out at all..
or rather,
no one to go out with me..
(n I dont ask people out..how dumb is it?
sad over not going out when I din ask anyone out at all? =.=)

for some reasons..
I start to hate my life..
I mean not work-wise..
but about me..
I've been pondering it for quite sometime..
n I certainly feel that I can live louder than now..
but unfortunately..things arent going this way at all..

as a libran,
I strived for balance..
in both work n play,
in family, love, friends and colleagues..
but things arent going this way too..

I mean..
I certainly feel the love everyone gave to me..
all the concerns I have..
but I find that it's not enough..
because I have not give much to everyone..

today is a day that I should be grateful..
I should be happy with my life..
n not be pulled down by some obstacles I'm having right now..
and for my baby bro who pulled everyone closer together..

but I guess I'm still feeling upset about my unbalanced life..
until one day when I'm finally over it..
will be the day I'm truely happy..
so here in this new year's resolution..
I wish for a balanced life..
to be happy, and give people happiness..
maybe I should smile more often and talk more often?
maybe..we'll see how to get about..

Anyway,
Happy New Year in advance!
cheers~

Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian

2007-12-03T11:36:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure how many are as excited as me,
but I'm definitely looking to watch this!

In the actual BBC series,
it only lasts 30minutes..
to make it to a movie,
they have to draggggg it till at least 1hr to 1.5hrs..

Actually I've watched the BBC version of Prince Caspian
which was ok because it was film at 1980s?
so the graphic was like the best at that time..

after the whole Chronicles of Narnia is complete..
mostly probably I'll buy the dvd..
it's so nice!
then I have the new n old version of Narnia le..
hehe

alright..
enough of this..
gotta go work..
take care~

& there we go again..

2007-11-20T10:56:00.001+08:00

Today at work..
first thing I do was to check out LoveDiary
somehow or rather I've been having this hunch that Dearie put up something there..

after reading his latest blog entry
I shed a tear or two in office..
but quickly remain my composure because I din want anyone to know what happened..

sometimes its tiring to be in love..
especially in a relationship with communication doesnt appear to be as active as before..
when I was reading the entry,
things like "Is he ok now?" or "did he hurt himself?" keep popping out of my mind..
as if I can just rush to find him and check his injuries..
I think I've already forgiven him..
but I think I still want that peace and quiet to calm myself down..
maybe can let him rest n heal his wounds (if there's any)
I'm not sure what I want to do now..
din really slp last night..
cried to slp silently..
hoping that nobody will notice..

yesterday after I reached home..
my mum and granny keep asking about him..
I'm really trying to act as if nothing happened..
he put aeroplane on me twice already..
we actually arranged that I go to his hse after my mum reach home..
for one hr I've been trying to reach him..
n knowing that he's already slping..
I decided to just stay at home n chill..
was a little pissed, but really ok..
beause I really understand that he's really tired..
then he told me that he got meeting at raffles city..
ask me to meet him so we can go have dinner or something..
told him I wanted to go chijmes for the cosplay restaurant..
arranged nice nice..
unfortunately things always happen..

I'm really trying to be understanding..
I've tried..
I've even told myself that he actually improve
last time I cry like every month
it's been almost a yr since I last cried..
I even joked to myself yesterday saying that he's accumulating the hours (plus interest) I made him wait in the past and give it back to me yesterday night..
self-consoling I guess..
hope that after this period our bond is better....

PROJECT RUNWAY SEASON 4 IS OUT!!

2007-11-13T11:01:00.000+08:00

exciting isnt it?
you know why it's taking so long?
there's like Project Runway Norway, Malaysia and Canada..
Crazy right?
dont have Singapore?
...

this is crazy lo..
and they just finish the fashion show for season 4
check is out: http://bloggingprojectrunway.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Sasori Cosplay

2007-11-12T12:17:00.001+08:00

thought some of you might just go gaga over this pic..
damned nice lo!
cosplay Sasori so cute!!

=D~

I therefore certify myself as a pest

2007-11-02T16:23:00.000+08:00

I'm not happy
not at all..
I've been blur
and not productive..
not motivated
nor helpful..

because of my blurness,
I've created quite a lot of work for other people..
feel so bad!
cant wait to just bury my head like an ostrich..

What has happened to me?
beginning to detest myself
because I'm not of help to anything..
my mum ask my sis for help for my bro's first month vouchers
and sometimes I'm not of help to my colleagues..
and when dearie needed money for his i-guides log stuff..
I'm not of much help either..

today one of my TLs (I have 2 in case u dunno..just add 1 more like not long ago) talked to me..
regarding being motivated..
he ask me not to give up my module..
even though it's not entirely mine..
he also mentioned that unless I finish this module..
if not I can never move on to my next module..
I would really like to be psycho-ed by him
but this is the most irritating module I've encountered (I took 3, one was dropped when I'm going to proceed to SIT testing, 1 took over by my TL (going to ORT) when I was applying for contract, and this current module is the 3rd one)..
it just basically doesnt fulfill the performance issue..
if given the time,
I really dont mind just change the whole code
BUT I DONT HAVE!!!

I'm really tired..
like havent been resting enough..
n I'm kinda sick currently
the medicine make me awfully sick..
cant wait for christmas to come, seriously..
maybe things will get better at that time..

and 2 of my colleagues decided to migrate to another company..
good for them!
mine will happen in 3 yrs time..

anyway..
been thinking of catching sneak preview of Saw4 this weekend..
much awaited nehx!
have asked dearie if he's free from i-guides to watch with me..
^^
midnight show though..
maybe go town walk walk then watch movie..
hehe..

whatever it is,
good luck to me!

Hot like hell

2007-10-30T12:19:00.000+08:00

For so long since I've encountered extreme hotness (emotionally)
but for no reason,
this trigger for the hot, boiling blood was engaged by 2 people.. (amazingly not my dad)
they both accused me of things I did not do..

one thought that after getting a higher pay than her
will have better life (read: away from bills)
I certainly do not deserve such life
and neither do I have the ability to do so.
For I do not bother anyone in my family when I have financial trouble,
even though I would like to contribute to my family for my acknowledgment of self-usefulness
as a matter of fact,
that day I did not reply her sms is because I'm so damned broke
n I do not have the guts to tell her in fear that she'll tell my family..
n there she is, accusing me for not helping her in times of need.
I bet she did not know that I have to eat bread everyday for 2 weeks before my pay arrives..
and that amt of $$ is not even enough for my transport and meals..
not only that,
she jumped to another conclusion that I proudly announced all my expenses straight after she asked me to pay for one of the bills (so that I can get away from that bill, she said) right before I finish calculating my expenses and proposed to split that bill.
my life isnt a bed of roses as well..

another one in the office..
I already requested this particular thing to be done like yesterday..
since she's not there,
I asked another developer to help me instead
because I am not authorized to do it..
then today,
that developer pushed everything back to her as she's back and thats her task..
asked me if she can do it a little later (n did not state how long it'll take)
for fear that I might not be able to meet the deadline,
I told her my situation and say she can proceed to do her things first if it doesnt take too long..
wah..
then the message like saying I force her to do mine first lo..
then I rephrase my situation and she asked why I did not follow procedure..
I told her what happened yesterday n this morning..
her reply msg?
ask me next time follow the procedure (which I already did)

is she stressed or something?
are they both stressed?
then why am I the one being picked on ar?
it's irritating lo..
I almost went violent..
but nvm..
I feel so much better now..

my bro's first month

2007-10-26T09:06:00.000+08:00

my bro finally reach his first month
but the price is a big one..
for all the cakes and whatever,
a total of 4 bigs cakes,
and 70 over 10bucks vouchers to all relatives and colleagues and friends..
imagine..
close to $1k worth of cakes and vouchers..
I'm getting dizzy...

on 22nd Oct my mum called out of nowhere..
asking both my sis n I to take leave so as to help my auntie prepare the offerings to ancestors..
luckily I still have the Hari Raya time off..
and told my TL that I'll not be in office on the 23rd..

so early in the morning my auntie n her children with my sis, dad and me went to my ah gong's hse first to prepare the offerings
then my bro came at about noon..
dad have to carry my brother and "show" our ancestors how he look like..
after that seek their approval or something..
mum was saying our ancestors keep laughing at my dad because he doesnt know how to sweet talk..
haha
anyway,
after that I napped a while..
until they decided to eat the "blessed" cakes..
the durian cake damned nice lo..
hehe
going to buy more when I bo liaoz..
but the coffee cake was disappointing..
din have the strawberry cake..

then after that went for a little shopping..
a very short one..
with my brother being carried around by my sis..
i certainly look forward to bring him out..
=)

yesterday my chinese b'dae..
grandma boiled 2 eggs
since I din want to have eggs,
i de-shell it and bring it to sis n grandma
dad's not ard (we share the same chinese b'dae) and mum cannot eat..

anyway,
going back to work..ciaoz~

Happy Birthday to me~

2007-10-11T11:58:00.000+08:00

wow..
so fast..
I'm now officially 23 yrs old..
no excitement
no anxiety
just feeling bored..

took one and a half days of leave..
initially was because Dearie had to go for I-guides meeting on my b'dae
then I took that extra one day off..
but then when the day approaches he decided not to attend it
because I've decided to buy him a PSP to bribe him (supposedly to be his 2nd yr anniversary gift) to accompany me on my b'dae..
muahahahahaha..

this yr I've gotten one present
mum, sis and grandma share one if I'm not wrong..
a black top from Alano..
and a really cute cute card..
inside the card there's a message from my baby bro,
saying that I must earn more money so that he can get more toys..
pretty obvious the handwriting's from my mum..
she writes well..

the only person who celebrates my b'dae is dearie..
so I'm just gonna blog at LoveDiary
^.^x
but I've gotten quite a lot of b'dae wishes..
also from ppl I nvr thought they'd remember
and it seems like my self-doubts are gone..
I've always thought that nobody likes me
and my b'dae are always the days I scrap those thoughts..
n because of that
I feel bad for not greeting some of them on their b'dae..
just like the way they did to me..

anyway,
my brother has been really naughty these days
keep crying just because he likes it..
nono..
should I say screaming and shouting?
because there's no tears in his eyes.....

nobody can tahan him except my dad
n he only listens to my dad!
that's some kind of a bias treatment here..
>.<
but regardless of this,
dearie's mummy and I shared to buy a stroller for him..
for his first month celebration
he'll need it in time to come

alright..guess that's all for now..

updated:
just now at about 5-6pm my colleagues asked me to go pantry
then got cake lo!
I was so touched..
feel embarrassed because I'm not so used to having so much attention now...
really thank all who have contributed to such wonderful time..
=)

new heaven and hell

2007-10-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

fwah...
suddenly like nvr slp for yrs..
i did mention that my mum came back on Wed..

On Thurs and Fri my sis and dearie took care of my mummy while I go work..
on Sat the whole family (including dearie) went to visit my baby bro..
but abit sian cos the 3 of us have to stand outside
while my parents went in and feed him and change his diapers..
after a few snapshots
we got tired of standing outside
my sis went to take a nap at the nearby couch
whereas dearie and I went to the food court..
dearie havent eat
so he ordered some desserts for the both of us
n one ramen for his lunch
not too good he said
so he proceeded with his dessert without finishing his ramen..
soon after we went to this fortune teller nicknamed "you long zhi" (a.k.a swimming dragon's son??)
he gave a whole list of words for my bro's name,
and immediately the whole family like this word "Zhan"
we thought we had to ask our ancestors which word they like
but my auntie say we dont have to ask them
just decide on the name and let them know can le..
like that my parents should've done that on my poor sis more than 2decades ago!
sis, dearie and me have decided on his christian name: Lucius
so conclusion?
his name is Lucius Goh Koon Zhan
then we decided to make a bet on when he can be discharged
I chose mon, dad tues, dearie wed, sis thurs and mum fri..
who wins will get 2bucks from each person..
if nobody wins, the money will go to the baby..

we went home after that
took care of my mum...
life resume as usual..

then the next day my mum said my daddy going to fetch her to hospital to visit my bro again..
so we din go because of sat
they went alone..
suddenly mum called to say my bro can go home le..
wah..everything went haywire..
I vacuum and mop the floor..
dearie set the bed
my sis went to sanitize the milk bottles with boiling water and buy milk powder..
just nice,...
when he reach home
he just wanna slp
=.=
so my bro earned 10bucks from us on the first day he's at home..

after which are not really terror..
i din get to slp because he cries twice every night for milk..
but i can say he's really mischevious..
should call him Loki instead..
so naughty..

so on Monday I've already applied for leave
took my baby bro to polyclinic with Dearie, my aunt and her 2 daughters..
dearie always play with my youngest cousin
while the older cousin was listening to songs via her mum's hp..
aunt and I just keep talking and watching dearie and my cousin play..
my bro went to take his blood
the nurse say he's very brave
because he din even cry when the nurse draw his blood..
I guess he's just used to it..

when we got home, 2 more aunties and their kids visited mummy..
i got so tired I fell aslp..
for about 5hrs later then I slp..
at that time everyone had already went home..
after eating I played with my baby bro for awhile..
after which I've decided to slp while Dearie have i-guides committee meeting online..
baby woke up at abt 2-3am again..
then after his milk he went to co-slp with my parents..
n he has been slping with them ever since..
dont really like the idea because it's quite dangerous..
plus it's actually torturing to have babies slping beside you because you cant slp well..
(crying and afraid that you'll suffocate or crash him)
aiyah..
they want to do let them do..
it's their kid..
they pay responsibilities to any mishap..
half of me is quite happy about him slping with my parents..
(because no cries at night that I can hear)
another half worries for him
(smoking (if applicable), crushing, suffocation and excessive hogging of my baby bro from my dad)
there's always good and bad for everything..

yesterday night my aunt (with 2 daughters) came with her whole family (in addition of son who was present on Monday at my house and husband)
my grandma already reached my hse after visiting Taiwan
n she bought a lot of TW snacks..
yesterday was just praisal night for Dearie..
saying how good he is n 1st time seeing a guy bathe for a baby n blah blah
oh no..
should I feel jealous?
I feel indifferent
in fact I feel proud
haha
but his mummy abit poor thing..
nvr see him for so long..
(Auntie, I can assure you, after his sch reopen everything will be fine..)
now dearie already link up with both sides of my relative..
=)

now we're already planning for bro's first month celebration
in which we'll have to bring him see my grandparents (father's side) for the first time
and then my mummy was like saying book a karaoke room from AMK RC..
=.="
it's the boy's day but he cannot go inside the room..
he has to stay outside the room with the food n my mum because too noisy..
anyway, we'll see how bah..

btw, whoever wanna visit my mum and bro please call me and let me know..
I'll arrange a time (which most probably on weekends)..

my mummy's discharge

2007-09-27T16:00:00.000+08:00

yesterday was so crazy..
it was the day my mummy got discharged from the hospital..

my mum called at abt 9am to say that she's discharging from the hospital..
my dad insisted that his bedsheet must be changed in the morning rather than at night
which caused a lot of trouble for me because I need to mop and vacuum the floor..
it would be a wasted effort for me even if he wrapped the dirty bedsheet perfectly because there're still dust everywhere..

so when my mum called,
i got pretty angry with myself and my dad..
i got angry with myself because I really couldnt get up even if i struggled..
n my dad because of the bedsheet incident..

I kinda rushed the cleaning process, n missed a spot near the main door..
=.=
it was pointed out by my mummy..
anyway,
after cleaning, we went to Bedok Central market for 3 fishes..
we insisted that the fishes must be kept alive..
cos we're going to keep them for a couple of days

dearie kinda killed one of the live fishes..
it was gross lo
he pulled the organs out after hitting its head..
that damned fish can still move after all these trauma..
at one pt of time that fish kinda gave up struggling..
but too bad..
my mum needs it..

then he made soup out of the fish..
initially it's not nice at all..
but this morning I tried n I almost wanted to finish the whole fish..
my mum did not touch the fish..
she just drank the soup..
the soup is good for healing wounds..

we also bought dried longans, rock sugar and some tung gui (ginseng) for the red date tea..
we rushed all these cooking and cleaning n then went to KK Hospital to fetch my mummy
my dad was already there, accompany her to visit my little bro..

on tues night he has already moved to those normal ward..
but because he got the yellow skin (which most babies have),
he need to be under ultra-violet light..
he couldnt wear gloves to prevent scratching..
n his face are all covered with scratch marks..
that was the only time I was so so close to my brother (w/o glass windows)
n he can practically hear me..

after making some arrangements and drawing of blood from both mum n bro
we went to my er-gu's hse to get some things..
then we headed home..
we were just wondering when the lift has finished it upgrading..
because my poor mummy have to climb 6 sets of stairs to get to our hse..
but after everything she finally rest on her bed,
while we do the neccessary procedures
like bring her the red date tea and the soup n prepare her bathing (tonic) water..
when she finally slp,
the whole house went to hibernation mode (everyone started slping too)..
thats when I realised that I'm dead tired..
i couldnt climb out of my bed..
my dad brought in the bathing water to her for cleaning her body before its too late (she cannot bathe after 6pm)..
then soon after my er-gu came with her dinner..
she did not eat alot..
so in the end my dad n I finished the remaining food
my sis did not eat because she absolutely hate ginger..
n there's a lot in my mum's dishes..

luckily my sis bought this cushion thingy for my mum..
if not she couldnt have slpt so well..
she just cant slp in the hospital..
because the wounds keep giving her pain..

luckily got my relatives and dearie and his mummy to help
if not we're in deep trouble..
not only we do not know how to cook the food
we do not know what to do as well..
so thank god everything went on smoothly..
n hopefully by this weekend my bro can go home le..

just now went to see my bro..
he's like so slack lo..
slp all day..
haha..
n he doesnt know everyone's worried for him..

right now, even if I'm at the office,
I'm still tired..
n I dunno what to do either......

I'm guess I'm getting tired soon

2007-09-25T14:32:00.000+08:00

alright..
only been a couple of days..
I think all the adrenaline are just too overwhelming for me..

on Sun I went to visit my mum (as mentioned in the previous entry)
straight after that sis and her ex-bf and dearie and I went to have our dinner..
We went home straight after that to clean the hse,
Trying to prepare for my bro and mum’s arrival..

After I’ve finished cleaning,
It was close to 1am..
Went to slp..
N wake up early for work the next day..

Kinda struggled to work..
Have so many things to do,
But because one of the important person’s on leave
I had no choice but to wait till the next day..
Went to hospital with 4 colleagues (1 of them are my TL)
Then they bought this really nice gift for my bro (expected to last for a yr)
My mummy wasn’t looking good..
Guess the pain has just started..
Went to see my baby bro with them
N he was slping……
Opened his eyes once..
Then nothing..

During the evening bought things that dearie and my mum asked me to buy..
Rushed home,
Don’t feel like eating..
Dearie came with ai xin wan chan prepared by his mother and he himself..
Eat together n watched tv
After that continue to clean the hse again
Its then I realized that I carry too many things on me..
I offered to help because I want to
But din know that I couldn’t help that much..

Today went to visit my mummy..
She said she may not be able to go home tomorrow..
Her wound kinda split open..
So have to wait till doc’s checkup on her to determine whether she can go home..
She sounded depressed..
Like she doesn’t wanna go home unless she has her baby with her..
I told her it’s only for a couple of days
This weekend he can go home le..
But the bad thing is that my baby bro still doesn’t know how to suck the milk out of the milk bottle..
It’s worrying the doc..
He say if bro still doesn’t learn how to suck the milk out,
He’s gonna put a tube on his body in order to get enough nutrition for him..
He’s so tiny le still dun have enough nutrition..

I dunno what I should do now..
I’m physically worn off..
I just hope that my bro n mum just go home..
I know everything will be ok once they’re home..
N that’s the only I’m hoping for..

The most beautiful thing I've ever seen

2007-09-24T01:30:00.000+08:00

wow..unexpectedly, I have not blogged for like 2 week?
so many things happened..so little time..

anyway
was so bz with my work...
I almost wanted to give myself a big slap on my face..
was totally distracted since my bdae is near..
but I guess I cant go have fun anyway..

last week went to Charles's marriage party..
(called it that because there's no signing of papers or wadsoeva)
it's like they've decided to throw themselves a party saying that they're getting married..
had fun there for a while, and then went to Cineleisure for Rouge Assassin with the ex-fusion team..
nice show..
3.5/5 popcorn..
for ppl who doesnt like action-packed and a little bit of suspense movie
you can skip it..
I like it, so it's nice

anyway,
HL gave us her red bomb..
and showed us some wedding pics..
then I realised that everyone seems to be getting married..
we left since we finished the movie..
n then dearie and I went for some supper..

after that went to dearie's hse to slp..
planned to visit my grandma on Sun
cos she was sick..
just because I slpt late that night
I did not go!
kinda disappointed in myself..

then on Wed I sms-ed my auntie about my grandpa's b'dae celebration
then she told me that my grandma's in hospital..
cos her stomach started growing..
went to see sinseh and he told them that she must be sent to hospital immediately..
so on Wed she's in SGH,
thurs got checkup..
n fri went to have her lump removed..
planned to go visit her at SGH on Sat..
just nice my mummy started to have her leak..
n have my dad to send her to hospital..
I was at HX's b'dae chalet
mum couldn't reach me cos my phone's downstairs and i'm upstairs slping..
that noon when I received the news,
I panicked, grabbed my things,
and took a cab straight to KK Hospital..
waited for quite sometime
in the end have to go back to chalet cos I couldnt see her,
and the docs were still examining her..

who knows, sunday early noon I received a call from my mummy saying that she had already gave birth to my bro..
how nice..
wanted to rush to KK one lo..
cos I wanted to see my bro so badly..
then my sis say visiting hrs from 6pm..
in the end played DotA at dearie's hse to pass time..
really regretted it..
if not I can just go there and touch my baby bro..
T.T
gonna try my luck tml or wed..
already applied for leave on wed and next mon..
to take care of my mum and bro till my grandma got back from Taiwan..
sis and I took turns..
actually I feel like taking 4 days (wed to mon..)
but I have to complete that damned module of mine..
cant abandon it right?

anyway,
HX's b'dae was reall nice..
haha..
like some relaxing thing for me..
although the first night I had some dream on my work..
subsequently it was fine..
n I ate a lot..
all those exercising I've been doing are going to waste?
nvm
I'll try harder..

alright,
here's some of my bro's pics..
dont go awwww worz!

*Bleahx*
Hmmzz.. :l
*peek-a-boo!*
*smilez*
~slping soundly~
I'm trying to open my eyes!
:(
*peek* (with one eye opened) who's looking at me?

hehe..gonna see him tml during lunch..
most probably I'll go wih my TL..
^^
a little human really brings a lot of joy to everyone!

desperate weeks

2007-09-09T14:18:00.000+08:00

like what I've said in the previous entry..
I'm dead broke..
broke until I have to buy bread and eat everyday..
dinner-go-dearie's-hse-eat broke..

Why I go torture myself this month?
maybe I should really really watch how I spend..
maybe I should spend it on slimming down instead..

last fri was IRAS Day..
there was musical, "ban jiang dian li" and phototaking..
the nicest one has to be phototaking..
cos we can take as many as we want and then got it printed into credit card size..
for free?
I think IRAS pay the photographer and for the inks for all those cards..

musical was really funny lo..
haha..
we were like luffing all the way thru in our office when it was "broadcasted" live from the Multi-purpose Hall..
ya.. because it cant accommodate all IRAS staff..
and there are actually people who work at IRAS for 45 yrs!
cool right?

then this week Thurs and Fri are IRAS Active day..
Missed the aerobics and muay thai..
but I tried Archery!
damned nice lo..
can train my flabby arms..

anyway,
I notice that when I'm fat..
I'll get depressed..
damned depressed even though I really try my best to do something to cheer myself up..
what really bring new depth to my depression is my cholestrol checkup provided by IRAS..
even though my BMI is considered borderline..
I'm not satisfied with my waist measurement and my weight..
cos over 2yrs i've increased my weight to almost 10kg and my waist to almost 5inches..
even though I've grown abt 1cm (does it really matter since the difference is only that much?)
it's like a knock on my head saying that if I dont exercise,
not only my body will complain (keep having muscle-aches)
my depression will get more serious..
the only time when I got really happy is when 'm so damned slim..
so I must make sure I always have that to make myself happy..
I'm too self-conscious...
I admit that as a mistake..

I'd better get over whatever stupid things that're going ard my head..
I'm getting to depressed to think anything straight..
or rather..
I'm starting to think that the world is against me!
nothing of such sort of course..
I'm just dumb in any way possible..
I seriously need to do something about my body
otherwise the picture that are going to be my blog will be like dragging forever..
yup..
think i should put my pic for a change..
n hopufully I dont change anything anymore in the layout..

been window shopping online..
so tempted to buy those clothes and bags..
I'm so gonna get the online banking thing from DBS..
and then change my POSB ATM card to debit card..
n I should be able to start paying my debt to my uncle and auntie from Nov..
I've got so many things to do..
just as what I've always tot of myself: I'm never gonna be satisfied in my life..
I just keep wanting more..
not appreciative, not grateful..
at least ppl help me I am so damned grateful..

went to Sakura buffet restaurant at Downtown East..
at least it is so much better than those in Family Buffet restaurant in Tampines Mall..
variety is good..
or maybe that time I dont feel like eating bah..
cos broke&depressed..
n I dunno what to do to myself..
n that's the worst part..

then yesterday went to Expo for book fair and furniture fair..
went to see the furniture fair..
gimme so much space for creativity!
I always believe that designers should go ard the world to see anything that's worth seeing..
because the creativity juices just keeps coming after the trip..
hehe..

alright..
enough said..
dunno what to do myself again..
till the next time~~~~~~~~

the new toy in town

2007-08-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

ahhhh
a week nvr blog?
good improvement right?
hehe

anyway
since now cannot do testing..
slack awhile..

right after the market 85 session
the next day I went to make a new passport..
n then after that went to dearie's hse..
wait for him to get ready to go for Vivocity..
for more details, look at LoveDiary.

on Sunday I slack because I feel like it..
^^

I was like having cycling session with girls + dearie and hw on Sat
you know what hw wear?
a full professional speed biker outfit
the bike cost more than 1.5k?
plus whatever thing that has been covering his body..
all n all cost abt 2k?
he also got this pair of shoes that locks the paddle..
=.="

so we went cycling ard..
with a new friend called ly..
din know her lah
J's friend..
cycling for a few of hours..
had NZ ice cream..
and then went to Parkway Parade to enjoy salmon and unagi and octopus..
fresh and nice!
so happy that day..
"a plate of salmon keeps me happy for a week!"
haha

then after that all of us were like shopping ard..
came across inqBox at b1..
guess who I saw?
Ms Connie nehx..
still pretty..
though she looks better w/o those make-ups..
bought a purple jewellery box from her with 10% off..
like it so much..
=)

then sunday went out with dearie and his mummy..
went to watch 881 again..
strangly though..
the 2nd time i watch it i dont reject it as much as the 1st time..
n starting to think that it's nice..
=.="
maybe cos there are so many ppl explaining how the whole story works n blahblah
we went to the central cafe/restaurant for dinner..
dearie said his mummy is really happy..
1st time go out dont nid to pay for anything..
but the sad thing is
she has to go home alone while dearie come my hse after dragging it for like 2 days..
he so bad lo..
=x
j/k..haha.

budden all these splurging cost me a lot of misery now..
haha..
I'm like broke now..
please dont ask me out until the 2nd week of Sept..
thanks..
=x

updated:
I make the title so as to remind myself in revealing the new 'toy'
but apparently I forgot about it..
anyway,
I've put aside GE and started playing 2moons
which are now f2p in US..
also,
there's also this game called hellgate: London (dunno if i got it correctly)
all in beta of course..
but heard that 2moons are officially f2p?
2moons are more of a diablo-liked game..
can check that out?
dearie's totally hooked by it..
looks too much like diablo..

hellgate havent go check it out yet..
if got time then go d/l bah..
hehe..

Canon in d part 2

2007-08-12T03:39:00.000+08:00

well well..
went to look for funtwo as mentioned by sad in tagboard..
realised that i've watched that video b4 in youtube.com
reason why i din add him inside my blog is because the first time i heard it
i found it really amazing..
so i replay it again to satisfy my hearing pleasure..

strangly,
the 2nd time isnt that good..
then i thought something is wrong with my ears..
so i replay jerryc's version like 3times..
eh..
nothing's wrong..
still like what it was..
then i realised..
to me, instrumental rock...
is not about making it into a complete rock version..
it's like combining the musical version and the rock version
like a hybrid of a completely 2 different genres together
maybe thats y i like jerryc's version..

have to admit,
both of them have flaws lah..
so what happends when they play "duet"?
they cover each other's flaws lo..
heard that funtwo is a teenager in Korea who just made it big cos of Canon
whereas JerryC is a professional guitarist..
performed in taiwan tv shows (n clubs in taiwan?)....
but who really care?
good music is ard can le
muahahahaha..

reason why i display mattrach is because of his way of playing guitar..
found that amazing..
n it sound quite different from others..

anyway
everyone seems to be fighting for the best player of canon in d rock..
no pt copying any other ppl..
everyone is good enough to play their own version of canon in d..
who knows?
u might be the next big thing..
below are the 2 videos i mentioned earlier..
and also the live canon in d rock by JerryC and his band..
and lastly jerry at wo cai (Guess)
enjoy!

funtwo version

duet of jerryc and funtwo

JerryC and his band live

Jerry C at Wo cai(embed disabled at youtube)

back to work

2007-08-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

a lot to blog!!
been quite bz at the moment..
with all my modules due n stuff..
n so many ppl's b'dae..
have to say that I'm trying my best to liven up my life..

when I went back to work,
found out that my module has been passed to my TL
while I do someone else's leftover stuff (cos he left the company)
I was disappointed, without a doubt..
cos I was really eager to complete it..
n as a matter of fact my handover-module was some incomplete lousy piece of shit that are rushing for completion..
for it to come so far in such a small period of time I must say it's my "piece of work"..
but either way, the module I took over doesnt need much changes..
I just "help" bring it over to another environment..
what can i say?
i'm just a newbie..

I also went for some outing with dearie on fri for our 1yr 9month (see:LoveDiary.)

my sis 21st b'dae was happening on the 5th of Aug at Aloha Loyang..
I wasnt really feeling that good..
been having headaches lately..
so went there to slp for a while..
when i got up
got a shock..
a lot of ppl neh!
but i learnt one thing
oreo cheese cake is not meant for b'dae celebration
it's only good for indulgence..
dearie really pushed the whole oreo cake to me cos he din like cheese cakes..
when i ate it..
it's like really sticky in my mouth
din know how long it took for me to finish one small piece of cake..
but it took quite long...

I gave her a necklace, co-invested by dearie n my cousin zz.

(sorry about the quality..it's too dazzling!)
but still,
quite like that necklace..
my mum gave her a gold necklace though..
saw quite a lot of expensive gifts from her friends n our family..
mostly necklaces lah..
saw a hundred over bucks jeans...
n it's from some brand i've nvr see b4
maybe I'm outdated le..
should go shopping soon!

Yesterday went to ECP with the girls (Joy, TW, SL, Jos, HX and MZ)
to spend some time with Joy (her b'dae coming this sun)
went cycling there
in the end we ended up at one location,
while some of us took our turns to ride ard..
n HX and TW learn how to ride a bike..
saw a really nice sand castle dedicated to National Day..

magnificent..
I wanna go ECP learn how to make sandcastle!
hehe

then after got treated to Jumbo seafood restaurant..
fwah..
she like dun feel heartache one..
u know what we ordered?
1 sliced abalone with veggies, 2 black-pepper crabs, 1 drunkard prawns, 1 salty crispy chicken, 1 hongkong-style sea bass (which is steamed with soy sauce), 1 kang kong, and 1 almond with longan for dessert..
total..more than 200bucks..
*shocked*
she dun feel pain?
somemore tonight still got dinner with the rest of the gang..
no doubt its really nice.. (except the dessert)

anyway
tonight we went to 85market for dinner
joy wanted to treat everyone dinner..
so all the girls kan jiong..
she spent so much money yesterday..
we decided to go with her to order whatever she wants..
n drag her to one side b4 she can pay any money
in the end?
she paid 2 of the most expensive stuff..
the rest split by the girls..
haha..
had fun lah
cos she always kena "swan" by the guys..
=p
bought her a t-shirt
cos last time bought her a really nice but quite revealing top from adidas n she nvr wear...
so now i only buy t-shirt..
scared she dun wear..
n that shirt she can wear to work mah
haha

alright..tml gotta go make passport..
too long nvr travel overseas le..
^^

Responsibility to myself

2007-07-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

din know if this blog look funny with the previous picture
but i like it a lot u know?
hehe

nvr been working for a month..
almost went crazy..
I kept myself at home
so that I will not spend the salary I had on July for my August expenses
u know..the transportation, my computer, and hp bills..n my sis's b'dae..
after much calculation, I found out that I can still last till sept 10..
even though I nid to save a bit..

happy thing is, I'll be finishing my computer payment next july!
might pay them in advance..
cos I'm sick n tired of having to pay for my computer
when I can settle it once n for all..

today a friend of mine smsed me asking me if I wanna go boat quay..
I replied by saying that I have no money since I'm not working..
then she asked if my expenses are paid will I still be going?
sorry if I din reply..
was slping..

anyway, either way I wun be going..
1. its with her bf's friend, another good friend of mine and her..if its girls outing, ok..I'm not saying that going out as friends is bad..but it all comes to:
1.1 I dunno her bf n the 'other' friends
1.2 I know it'll be awkward, n I'm not comfortable in that situation
1.3 dearie doesnt allow
2. I'm quite an independent person..other than my parents and bf's money, I will not touch or borrow or be involved with it unless in desperate situation. since this situation is a matter of choice, I'll still choose not to go even if I did not fall aslp..
3. it's too sudden..tonight's outing u ask this noon..I nid to calculate my financial state of the month n do some arrangement just in case I'll not be at home (like today).
4. frankly speaking, I felt like an extra that someone thought of at the last min.. no offence..

enough said, lets talk abt my work..
I've signed the contract with IRAS, starting work tml..
havent go for checkup though..
guess I'll go on monday
since just nearby revenue house..
actually I've come to terms with the conditions they offered..
as a package quite good lah..
workload is manageable..
except for some irritating situation..

oh ya
talking abt it
one company called because I sent my resume to them..
a day after I signed the contract they called..
=.="
everytime lidat one lo..
when I was looking for job after O levels
same situation happen to me

till now I'm pretty hopeful..
cant wait to get my bachelor n get some job that I like..

doesnt have to be a game developer..
multmedia artist oso can..
think too much le..
get the degree then say..
haha

the rock version of Canon in D

2007-07-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

well,
as u guys know
Canon is my absolute fav music..
I love rock too
so imagine having combine both Canon n rock together..
it get me pretty pumped up..

so as I was sobbing while on my way home on fri morning..
this NPCC guy from Springfield Sec suddenly played a really loud music in my phone/cd/whatever..
it's so loud in his headphone that I can practically hear what he's playing..

just as I was about to shed another tear..
this song came up!
Canon in D rock version
surprisingly
it calmed me down a bit..
i told myself..
i have to find that man!

not sure if its the same as I heard that morning,
I seriously suggest u check these 2 rock versions of Canon in D..
cool stuff!
the latter look like Simon though..

Missing

2007-07-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

hey hey..
been more than a month since I updated this blog
apart from the new skin
if u guys have been checking lately
previous skin was spoilt..
so replace a new one..
will replace the picture when I found a nicer one!

too many things happened
first is I bought a 1GB RAM for GE..
then went for blood donation with dearie..
but found out from my mummy that I cant donate blood..
cause of weak liver..
hope no one is using it
since I donated 2 packets (one at IRAS, another at Tampines CC)..
I was so worn out at work
I finally became sick a day bfore my TCO period ends
so I went to apply for contract staff..

during the period when I was waiting for reply..
been mopping and cleanin the floor..
I also went to Sentosa for sun bathing!
budden swear not to go anymore
because the after-effect is not nice at all..
this Sentosa trip made me damned embarassed lo
one of my friend who agreed to go like 2 weeks in advance
decided to put aeroplane on us..
i guess she has no idea that the car coupon to sentosa cost 20bucks?
n u know how many times I have to give that pai-seh smile just because she put aeroplane at 6am in the morning?
n we arranged to go sentosa in the morning!

dunno lah
since then I nv talked to her..
n i dunno what to say to her if she calls..
either way we know she doesnt wanna come la
cos we decided to give her another chance by asking her to come vivocity at abt 3pm..
so when she comes here we're ready to leave (perhaps abt 5 or 6pm?) for dinner
n her direct answer was "dont want lah..so late le."
lidat i also cannot help her liaoz..
at that pt I think they saw my paiseh-ness..
I also dunno say what to her liaoz..
but to make it up to ourselves for that day
we decided to go Suntec for chinese dinner buffet
anyway
the dinner was great!
planning to go there for man yue jiu when my baby brother is born..
maybe it's her loss for not coming?
n we watched Transformers!
I would say not as good as 300..
but it deserves a 4/5 popcorn!
I think I gave 300 a 4.5/5 popcorn right?
if not I think I amend it here now..

oh ya..
din tell u its a boy right?!
muahahahaha
he's gonna be a very pampered mister..
everyone's buying him stuff already!
that also means I cant celebrate my 2nd anniversary with dearie le..
=x
cos it'll be his b'dae?
hope he come out early..
be a libran!
same b'dae as my cousin zz?
not a bad idea huh!
haha

oh ya..
if u din notice my wantings..
I've already bought W880i
everything's cool
except that memory card...
changed a new handset with the same memory card poses this problem too
it cant read the memory card!
especially after i use charger or ear piece to connect with my phone,
it'll turn out lidat..
then the starhub guy say SE phones are lidat now
??!!
can Sony Ericsson do something about it?
it's annoying..irritating!
especially my whole phone depends on that mem card!
cant play games..cant listen to songs..

at sale I went to metro closing down sale with my mum, sis n future bro-in-law (?)..
bought a pair of bras when i was shopping alone after attended meeting at IRAS..
then my mum say we shall go shopping at metro!
anyway
i really tried to refrain myself from buying
cos I spent a lot on that phone n its a loan from my mummy
bought a pair of boxers for dearie
2 pillows (my pillows are unusable..it's certified)
n a 75bucks worth of Sintex bedsheet set?! (UP 150bucks)
i din want to buy cos it so damned expensive
but my mum say she buy for me if i dun buy..
but she already loan me money to buy the hp..
now bedsheet?!
i almost had an heart attack
n decided to pay for my own bedsheet..unwillingly..
can see my glum face? n i'm sitting on it now.. ~_~
btw
sales lasts till mid aug..

my pay they (IRAS) offered me is $1.632k
but i wanted $1.7k because all new 3-yr contract staff are having that..
then I tot..
a humble beginning is a great stepping stone to success..
but I'm really not happy abt it!
they say its the govt raise..
they can afford to raise so many other new staff pay..
add 1 wun die right?
=.="
somehow or rather..
I think I almost wanted to burst into tears..
n ask myself..
is that what I'm worth?
even one extra 68bucks/month for my self-worth will die?
like always kena rejected by ppl these days..
my confidence has hit rock-bottom

I've turned really pessimistic these days
dearie has been taking care of his work so that he can still be able to stay in aerospace
(he got selected to take aerospace for elective)
mum's bz with my unborn brother..
sis? I dont talk such things to her lah..
when she ask then we talk abt it one..
that good friend who put aeroplane..like i've said earlier..dunno what to say..
n my other friends....it's like everyone has their own problems..
n obviously I wun want to trouble them with mine..
thats just me..
I'll only talk to my dearie about it..
well, the time really comes when he really have no time for u..

n my dad,
can someone please please tell him not to talk to me anymore?
I dont hate him anymore
I just want him to leave me alone
everytime he talk to me
my heart covered with flames
my eyes on fire..
please dont ask me why i'm so angry
i dunno why
just leave me alone
and save that agonizing ending
do ourselves and any other ppl a favour..
it's good if terrifying situation dont come into the picture
it's torturing to have such angry mind with me..
unless he enjoys it..

I guess I have no way to go now..
I guess I'll use 1 year to return my tution fee debt to my auntie and uncle
cos they helped me clear the debt
so that the interest wun keep increase like nobody's biz..
I am sooo grateful..
really..
after a yr's of debt clearing (which I aim to get performance bonus and whatever bonus they have for me),
I'll start enrolling into SIM..
then start studying for my bachelor..
n by then
I only need half a year to get my gratuity reward for fulfilling the whole 3 yrs contract..
i'll then use the gratuity to return to my grandma for helping me pay SIM fees..

guess I have no choice but to say yes to IRAS..
they dont know my current situation..
thats y..
cant sound desperate in interview right?
haha
maybe thats what molds the soul..

super not update blog

2007-06-02T13:45:00.000+08:00

wow..
been 3 weeks since I last blogged..
so many things happened..

ok..lets start with the 1st week
I went to 2 b'dae parties for weekends
in which there are actually 4 b'dae parties to go..
my cousin F and my friend's JJ b'dae nv go
I'm feeling bad abt JJ's one..
so where did I go if I din go to theirs?
I went to my great grandma's b'dae party
but she doesnt know who I am..
she's suffering from 老人痴呆症
the next day went to Dearie's 2nd auntie's b'dae at Laguna Country Club..
they ordered things like drunkard prawns and stuff..
all were delicious...if I have the chance I'll really wanna bring my mummy there n eat..
but it's so expensive..
$1k for 3 tables..
u do the calculation..

but you know in total how many ppl declared to me (intentionally and unintentionally) that their b'dae is on May?
7 of them!
F, JJ, Great grandma, TZ, Jac, dearie's daddy and auntie..
T.T
n I tot Oct got the highest birth rate..

alright..
then comes my graduation day..
it's not totally exactly what I want
but seriously,
I did took a lot of time thinking about whether I should go
since nobody is coming to share their glory with me..
but eventually I went..
I was so damned blur that day..
queue at the wrong queue..
blah blah..
n everything ended within one and a half hour..
so much shorter than my sec sch's one..
that day my mum keep asking me on whether I want her and her husband to go
I say bluntly that it's my day n I dont want to see him
because just by looking at him ruin my day..
either way..
I did promised MM that I'll go take photos with them..
but after I step out of the hall
I lost track of them..
I understand how unbearable it is for me to stay there..
so I left after giving up on searching on them...
oh ya..n thank God I din rent the gown
cos the cover was spoilt..
I may ended up paying more..
but strangely..I cried on this joyous day
n it's not happy tears..
whatever it is...
it's over..
I did regret not taking pictures with fellow C081 members..
but I guess the only thing I can do is regret bah..

n then that Friday..
dearie went to Ipoh for his manager wedding
his bus head off at 9pm..
n he din even know abt it..
otherwise I could've send him off?
haix..
that week was just super lousy..
I could've just grumbled the whole day..
but I ended up keeping it to myself..
had a really late night conversation with S...
we were just catching up..
talk about really anything under the moon (since it was at night)
we're great pals with each other..
the next day she accompany me go shopping..
but end up I accompany her buy things..
haha
since it was Great Singapore Sale
everything was discounted..
I bought a dress and a bag from Far East Plaza..
n I was feeling so much better (read:retail therapy)

Sunday I camp at home
so long since I stay at home and do nothing..
but its a bad move
made me so sleepy..
I'm supposed to lvl my mage in maple..
in the end I went to play Granado Espada
got the CD on sat...
damned nice lo
I still love good graphics..
it makes my eyes so happy
but I dont understand how the game works..
so wait for Dearie to come back and figure it out
=x

tues I went to work late..
cos dearie came back..
n I'm just dying to see him..
since I went to work late..
I'll go home later..
it's a flexible system..
so I dont really have any worries on the time I go work..
he bought me a necklace（letter "J" as the pendant, he got an "A"..supposed to be couple necklace?)
showed me all the photos..
n his beautiful manager + husband..
made white coffee（only available in Ipoh)
and some biscuits that you cant buy in Singapore..
I oso got another present: a maroon polo tee
fits nicely!
I like it a lot..

since then
we have been playing GE..
I din really want to touch DotA and maple for the time being..
just want to get the game figured out..
thats what we've been doing this weekend..
anyway
I cant produce pictures yet..
next time then update with the graduation photos took by professionals..
^^x

Mothers' day

2007-05-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

Went to work as usual
but one of the weekdays I was so damned late for work
reason?
I forgot to set alarm and the W850i that my sis lent me off itself after charging
n I did set alarm for the phone.. =.=
then it got me wondering if I really wanna buy SE phone..
that was quite a shock for me because S700i isnt behaving that way

Sat is my cousin's 21st b'dae celebration..
bought a dress for her
my salary did not plan for her present..
but still bought one anyway..
hope I wun be so broke at the beginning of next month

Well,
mothers' day is today
din go and have dinner or wadsoeva
but my sis n I share maternal wear for her..
it's on pleasing colours
and she'll look gorgeous when she wears it

my granny and grandpa already know about her pregnancy
so it's like a big affair now..
since they're coming back from china (relative visitation) this coming week
my mummy might be paying a visit to my grandparents' house more often?
maybe..
I hope for the best for her..

Just receive another red bomb..
couple of months earlier I received one for Oct..
this time round, it's a Jan affair..
was really happy about it..
I wonder what is the best thing in marriage?
is it the wedding? owning your own house with your husband/wife? or is it just about kids?
n talking about this,
I've been watching Mediacorp drama series called "Mars vs Venus"
everything are in relaxing and entertaining manner over this serious issue on marriage
glued to it practically..
so if I do OT,
most probably I'll catch it from MobTV..
which are only available during weekends (for a whole week's supply)
cos when I work late most probably I cant make it for the whole show at all..
its that late..

talking about work
Fri went to have some small team meeting with my TL's TL.. (read:TL = Team Leader)
we shall call her STL (read:Senior Team Leader)
then we were discussing about our work progress and stuff while my TL is on MC..
so STL was explaning things to our new member,
while W and me were talking..
it was quite relaxing actually
then STL say that my batch development very fast..
hehe..
happy de lo...
n I thought I was slow..
=.=

haha..
thats about all bah..
even though I'm still clueless about what I want to do if NTU die die doesnt want me
most probably I've already got my plans in my head....
whichever it is,
I wun let myself fall too deep..
Just like one unbeatable human..

Sony Ericsson Commercial

2007-05-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

got bored and went to deviantart.com to check out W880i's ad
man..
so hot!
beautiful models that are hot, slim and sexy
nvm..
pictures are better than words..
I shall show u:

y pretty models?
cos the phone is pretty
cant wait to get that phone on my hands
I'm more afraid that the sound quality using earphones are the same as W850i
the one I'm using now because my sis lend me
earphone can only hear the music and not the singer
I got quite freaked out..
hopefully it's not lidat..

my mummy's quitting her job soon
lets hope for the best..

Life may not be nice to me after all...

2007-05-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

I received my NTU letter
its a negative sign
haix..
since then I've been staring into space
like very devastated..

anyway
Sat I went to get my graduation gown
bought it...for dunno wad reason..
I keep such things I guess..
even my secnodary school uniform I oso keep
cos quite kawaii neh..

last week
everyday
I stay at dearie's house..
even weekends
except Fri stay at home..n rot..
now I have this really negative feeling about not going home
either way, just dun wanna c that guy..

hope u notice that I've changed blog skin
it's a really nice one
that suits my personality
n the blog entry column is really really big!!!
love it so much..
haha

alright..
enough of talking cock le..
I shall go stare into space again..
enjoy ur day~
bye!

lots of happeneings!

2007-04-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

its more than a week since I last blogged.
anyway,
just to say what has been happening..

Last weekends all we did was mapling..
haha..
I recreated a character after deleting my mage..
which was the highest level of all
but nvm lah
the stats was a mess

so I re-created a character that is like better..
mage oso lah
but much better
a perfect mage that is..
so train until it reaches 2nd job...maybe the 3rd?
but right now we put DotA aside for maple

fri we went to Tampines Swimming Complex for jacuzzi..

haha..sat there for no more than an hr the guard ask us to leave le..

anyway

we were talking...talking about things plans n stuff

we do that all the time

good to update..

cos situations always change..

sat we got so engrossed by the seafood from "quan neng mei shi show"
we decided to go Kushinbo for dinner buffet
we almost starved to death that day
then in the end we din get to eat alot
n that was their last day before renovation
nice food..
but a pity cant eat alot!
dearie and I decided to ask a lot of friends go there eat
hahaha
cant wait for that day..
^^

then after food,
Dearie wanted to buy maple cash card for his shop
went huntng at Marina Sq.
after reaching a place
Dearie spotted Wing Gandam Vintage Version

n best of all?
its a perfect Grade.. size?1:60
so nice lo..
but its damned expensive
more than 200bucks

but he managed to complete it within a day

but its damned nice

we bought the cash card at Marina Sq's 7-11 =.=

n went home...

remember I said there's a free cone day at Ben and Jerry?
haha
I went to take oso..
the level where United Sq Ben n Jerry was located was full of people!
have to queue to the toilet..
haha
but I managed to get my strawberry cheesecake ice cream
nice..
but not as nice as Cherry Garcia
haha
initially my whole team (all ladies) went there..
saying its team meeting
haha
but 2 of them went back after they saw the long queue
my team lead, my colleague and I stayed there for our ice cream
they got the chocolate fudge ice cream if I'm not wrong
n they were in love in it!

after that the whole week has been meeting n meeting
code n code
got drive to work now
maybe I'll stay if NTU doesnt want me..

this weekend nothing much
cos we maple and eat and slp all day
=.=
but I've ordered my graduation gown
n I'll be present at the ceremony
even though I did plan not to go
haha
but wearing gown nv do b4
so go enjoy lo
^^
n next month is mothers' day
plus my team lead's b'dae on the graduation day
guess I'm still going to broke anyway
haha
must plan liaoz.........
so broke....

ok..

the worse thing is here

one of my family member almost got hurt

because that crazy man went nuts..

anyway,

luckily she was fortunate enough to call one of my aunt

everyone told me not to make him angry again

but what I've been thinking about is to get away from this house

with my mum n sis

n leave him alone

nv to even talk to him again

nv to even cross path with him again

I wun make him angry unless he come n provoke me,

trying to force me to make him angry

thats his choice

not mine

even if I were to die in his hands

I'll make sure he pay for it

n since I enter the nether world earlier than him

that makes me more powerful than him in there..

wouldnt it be an advantage?

haha

just kidding

anyway

my mind is set,

I'll try my best to work harder n help my family to leave that madman alone..

n not to cross path with him anymore

Today is a happy day!

2007-04-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

eh..
nowadays got moodswing..
one moment frustrated like siao
next moment happy like siao
then restless like siao..

ARGH!!!!
I'm going crazy!
Not sure if its because of my body (been not feeling well but dunno wads the problem)
or I'm just damned anxious about the NTU admission..
or just plain worried about my next 5 yrs' path..

Anyway
next Tuesday is Ben&Jerry's Free Cone Day!!

u can get single scoop of ice cream free!
besides that, u can requeue for another single scoop!
muahahahaha
I'm gonna eat my cherry garcia till I knock out!
oops..
hehe..

but anyway..
gotten my first full paycheck..
actually over 1k one
but the CPF took few hundred bucks
n it became 900++..
damned sad lo..
cos I got so many things going on in my life..
these money just aint enough..
plus I nid to get a new phone before any bad things happen

oh ya..
I din mention what phone I'm gonna buy right?
W880i lo..
cant defeat its ultra-slim body..
I even told myself I can bring torch light and digital FM receiver to cover its flaws..
haha..
I will be invincible with this phone!!!!
*lightning appears behind my back*
man I'm going crazy..
NTU professors save me pls..
=x

just got to know that the result will be shown in between 2nd May and 4th June..
din read instruction carefully huh.....
but its really long
not sure if I even have the money to appeal..
haix..

today my mummy go KK Hospital for checkup..
doc told her all the bad things...
but I still hope for the best lah..
thats my practice..hope for the best n expects the worse..
I want another sibling!
hehe
n doc say the baby will be born in 1st Nov..damned late lo..
so I was saying..
1st Nov is the anniversary for dearie and me
n if the baby must come out,
the time of birth must have only 1 or 0
nice mah!
like mine! only 1 n 0!!
^^

my definition of happy family: my mummy, my sis and me and our bfs/husbands and the unborn sibling
I'm not going to add that man in my life no matter how hard ppl asks me to forgive him..
I'll forgive him when I forget about his existence..
that how I forgive n forget..
if somebody I really hate is someone I see almost everyday
my hate for that person will increase..for no reason..
looks weird, but that's how I operate..
so best is dun see that person n think of the past is the best..
I dont like to be angry..n I hate negative feelings..

even so..
I'm still quite happy
today got into meeting
n quite pleased with my results..
not the best performance though
but at least it adds abit of fuel to my passion in IT..
otherwise I'll just curse and swear about testing that doesnt seems to gimme what I want..

my tagline: nobody can live w/o passion..if u are one of them, then u're a zombie..
passion can be anything
it can be anything!
that phone, that piece of clothes, that nice pair of boots, to interact, to study..anything!
everyone has one small passion
not neccessary work or studies or achievements
my passion is to be in my ideal way of happy family with good career and pay..
haha..
I've always known as the greedy woman..
still not to late to know it now!

alright..
I got "over-high"
not the drug kinda high,
but the really happy high (a.k.a. really really very happy)
I'm tired..
din slp well yesterday night
so I kept singing to myself thinking that I'll get tired after singing..
but I got more awake..
o.o

I'm just such a weirdo..

a week of relaxation

2007-04-08T20:14:00.000+08:00

this week is super nice..
last sunday was our 1yr5th month anniversary (look at LoveDiary )
then went out lo!
hehe

Wed is my sista's first day at DHL
n she was slping really late..
after work, she headed back home with her dearie
n slpt like a log
haha
really cute lo..

anyway
Since I insists that Fri (gd fri) we all (my mummy, sista and her bf, dearie and me) go out
we all went to Tampines Mall..
M1 was really good to give my mummy 100bucks of voucher
she went to buy a Nokia phone for her husband
I was quite pissed, but I wun interfere
everyone has their reasons of doing things
n my opinion is just based on my own principles.
even dearie greeted him
I din do much even though I'm pissed
I dun greet him can liaoz
they wanna do wadeva its their biz
they're not my puppets anyway
then went to Ding Tai Feng for lunch
eat till very full..
so paiseh let my sista's bf pay..
will pay them back when I get my pay..

anyway, after giving him the phone and bought him newspaper n lunch
the 5 of us went to Courts Megahouse and Giant Megastore
haha
Courts say got free gift for my mummy
but actually its a hoax
the "free gift" has to be paid by instalments
and everyone was like saying "yao gei li wu que bu she de gei"
this one courts is really stingy
luckily we asked the salesman beforehand
otherwise we have another 600bucks of instalment waiting for us
but my mummy was really "gian" about the Toshiba washing machine that cost <620bucks and can wash 9.5KG of clothes
I also "gian" about it lo
but no $$
T.T
make my mummy so disappointed about it..
but my sista bought a 2GB mem card for her digital camera

then we went to Giant
my mummy wanna go buy some clothes that can be worn when the tummy gets big,
buy the rechargable batteries for our spoilt house cordless phones
as well as buy the adapter for the Nokia phone they bought just now
after that mummy was really tired..
n went home
my sista cooked scallop and fish porridge for everyone..
n then they went to slp
while dearie n me played maplestory till abt 6am..
damned tired lo..

but its still one of the nicest weekends I've ever had..
like everyone's present..
^^

My own battle and an unborn baby

2007-03-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

This week is one hard week
so many things has happened
and everything has changed.

Good news and bad news
lets start with the good one
cos I nid it to tell the bad ones..
haha

anyway
good news is that I'm going to have a new sibling
not sure about the gender
but the existence is a great one
my mummy's still young
n I trust that she still can give birth
abortion will harm her body more since she's on medication

here comes the bad news
I quarreled with my father
or should I say the no. 1 person in my hate list?
I dont hate ppl..
even though there're less than 5 ppl in there
he still top the list
the grudge of 10 yrs that I hold on to
finally breaks free
n hit him hard
I'm old enough to bit him back n break free?
I'd prefer to say that I'm old enough to defend for myself and my loved ones..

it all started with him doubting the existence of my unborn sibling
everyone is angry about it
my mummy feels most upset about it
but I feel outraged by his irresponsibility for his words
n he even insulted my mummy after I blow my top on him

that was when I decided to move out from this devil

no matter how hard,
I'm gonna crush him down
make him live his life and die in loneliness (he deserves it)
and bring my mummy and sister out of that devil's den
I've been thinking about that for the past 10yrs
yeah
when I was only in sec sch
its like waiting for the right moment to crush him down
I grow angry to protect myself
so that one day such things happens
I'm not going to hide
I'm going to fight back, real hard

"but he's still your biological father", most of you might say
from the moment I can remember and think,
till the time I know how to differentiate right and wrong
(meaning from age 4-15)
the accumulated time he spent with my family (throughout the 9yrs) is barely a year
treat him like a father?
I cant
n u have no idea how much I hate to have part of his blood in me?
luckily my blood type is the same with my mummy n not him
otherwise, I'll be feeling devastated now..
he's not fit to be my father in the first place

I would say this family war is a breakthrough for me
I'm going to leave him no matter anyone has any objection to it
cos its my life
I control it, not anyone who can comment this situation
I live for my own, n for my loved ones
my loved ones can choose to join me or support me
oppose me is just something I'll ignore
I wun hold grudge in anyone who oppose against me
everyone has their own opinion
live a year with him
n u'll grow to dislike him too
much less 10yrs

what I'm feeling sad about is my grandparents
they will see these and try to persuade me to change my mind
I hate to do that
but I'll still tell them I've made up my choice

still
I'm quite thrilled to have a sibling
a really naughty one actually
always disturb my mummy
today helped my mummy shift the bed in my room
so that she can enjoy the aircon full-blast
that baby will be a polar bear when he's born (cannot survive w/o aircon)
I feel like my family is united as one (except with my father)
n I really like that feeling
the true bond within us
that father of mine will never understand
he only know how to crush it
I'm anticipating our future
it'll be a great one w/o him
dont you think?

This week isnt meant for me

2007-03-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

well
this whole week I've been rather angry for no reason
I mean I am damned angry
n little things can just trigger my urge to throw tantrum

but luckily
my endurance is much better
haha
din get to throw lotza tantrum
n not a lot of ppl know I'm having that angry mood swing
but i'm still feeling upset about things
some things....actually..

first of all
its about my work
some guy was looking at my reports and stuff
well
in actual fact I did update them
but the little problem about it is that he did not pay attention to the dates I've updated
n he actually accused me for not doing anything
of course,
I'd like to be so damned bz
cos everyone is
but to say such a thing which is not true,
it will still affect me!
I do not know how to describe such feelings
but it's really irritating!

hahaha
then later that day
I sent an ridiculous answer to the game "Did you just say that" in Dan and Young show
hahaha..
I tot I have been sending to the wrong place (so that I wun get charged 30cents!)
budden they read out my answers out loud
which got me chocked while drinking water!
I was damned shocked.....
at least I did not send to the wrong person huh?
haha
just want that rock CD..
T.T

oh ya..
just found out that there's a lot of ppl who stayed back after internship or even applied for job there
from cindee..
but anyway
whatever it is
cant be bothered?
yeah
its still shocking to hear
cos some of us din really like the job here

oh ya..
Square2 is opened next to Novena Sq
can check it out cos some of the stuff just tastes nice, look nice..
I really wanna buy Kimchi and eat with rice.....
n I found a pair of boots that I quite like from D&C (Design&Comfort)--if I did get the name right
for $28.90
really long ones cost about $60-$70
design-wise ok lo..
normal..
going to buy soon once I've tried it and are happy with it
gonna buy a lot of things!!
I also wanna try the Korean restaurant there!!
and San Duo Shao La restaurant (same name as the hong kong drama "Zhen Qin" shao la restaurant)
the difference is that in show its not so classy lah
but that restaurant is really classy neh!
so many things I wanna buy
but so little time and money
haix

not a lot of things going on this week
hopefully april 10 comes quickly (pay day)
then after april 18 I can be really bz le!!!
cos e-filing is over!!!!
muahahahahahahaha
cheers to that!!

The Clinic Pictures

2007-03-20T18:33:00.000+08:00

Oops

forgot to upload Clinic's photos here
hope u guys enjoy!

Julia's the camera-woman while we tried to squeeze everyone into the picture

first take: not so good

second take: better.. but poor HX always got blocked?

then Julia's sista be the camera-woman while all 5 of us posed for the picture

First take: not so bad (but some of the girls were not satisfied so we took another one..)

second take: blur....

third take: better!

so we all were satisfied with it finally!

eh..who took this picture? not so sure..but it's Sharon and me!

Well

theres a whole lot more but I'm not inside so dun put up lah..

haha

I'm a vain person you know!

*smile*

I am still BZ?

2007-03-18T01:35:00.000+08:00

haaaa.....
been about 2 weeks since I last blogged
doesnt seems like anyone else is reading
cos nobody leave any tag msg as requested..
maybe I can forget about tagging board..

anyway,
I din really rest these weeks
have been quite active

last week's sat MZ, dearie and me went to NTU's open house
n we only went to ADM..
we went thru a lot of obstacles before reaching ADM
but I would say
I was totally speechless when I got inside
Library is cool (can work there if need $$)
then the classrooms are like so big
there's lab with super big MAC screens
and there are just too many space around!
there's also filming lab
and soooo much more
their equipments are like sooo "zheng qi"
I almost couldnt breathe...
one word, "wow!"
but we left early cos MZ have jap class

well,
when we were heading to Boon Lay interchange
some disgusting freak appeared
the bus was really crowded
n this guy who's side is facing me brushed my breasts
so I began hinting loudly to dearie and MZ but they were not responsding
so I put my arm in front of myself
then for no reason
dearie put his arm there next to mine as well
not for protecting I would say
more like supporting himself
then this freak sneezed
his saliva covered dearie's arm
and some fell and hit the bus
dearie freaked out
me too
we gave him disgusted look
and everyone ard him did that too
he could've just cover his mouth or something right?!
his arms were not occupied if u were thinking about that
then we conversed loudly that we're getting disinfectant to kill all bacteria and stuff
well, he couldnt take it I guess
with out loud conversation and disgusted look ard him
he got down at the 2nd or 3rd stop after he sneezed
it's still disgusting
the first thing we get off the bus is to let dearie wash his arm after seeing MZ off
it's damned gross lo
even if it's just saliva
mentally you would want to get rid of whatever u were thinking by washing is away with soap and water

so dearie and I went to check out some movies and did some shopping..
we were wearing some couple tops
n its purple
we saw Fann and Moses Lim at Jurong Pt
had lunch at Crystal Jade
seriously disappointing because the food standard is not as good as Tampines branch
even though the service is like better than them
and then watched 300
were in arcade playing basketball while killing the time to watch 300 (about an hr)
its a damned nice show I would say
sexy men aside,
its just the scenes and how nice every moments were pulled together
the art of graphics
(if u know it, all scenes are filmed indoors, all backgrounds are digitally animated)
and some scenes like flying heads are animated too
its just so real
its like the next level for a movie
and if it is 3D
maybe the effect is better?
4.5/5 is what I would give
cos I was so stunned by the graphics and the way they present the story
I forgot all about the popcorns we bought
totally magnificent

then we went to guardian to buy some shower gel, shampoo and some detox + slimming pills
had to go home early because dearie's mummy specially cook calamari for me
^^
then slp after we had dinner

haha
din slp the night before we went to ADM
we got home quite late cos Fri went to dearie house after work
then went home quite late
had super late dinner (my mummy cooked for us)
by the time we finished the food
it was 3am
then dearie play DotA
and I was washing clothes
dearie went to slp
then I played WW3 campaign
till 7am
decided to slp for an hr
then wake up for NTU open house
was really tired
but I was super hyperactive that day
so thats ok..

Sunday woke up at about 5pm
we slpt at 11pm and woke up at 5pm
more than 12hours
so we wake up and had dinner
went to Tampines to watch Pursuit For Happyness
nice show too
but I din really have emotion for this movie
dearie almost cried
but I'm just emotionless
no sense of feeling overwhelmed me
even though both Will Smith and his son (he got a damned long name) have really good acting skills
I wasnt touched
but I always have flashbacks of scenes on this movie
its still inspiring
maybe if I watch it a 2nd time after a long time I'll be very touched by it
maybe it's because of 300
(like if u've had very good food before, average food doesnt appeal like it did anymore)
but either way
3.5/5 for Pursuit of Happyness

Tues is Dearie and CP's b'dae
please look at LoveDiary
cos I only managed to celebrate Dearie's

on thurs
went to Clinic for clubbing
free passes
hahahaha
entry is 20bucks
very expensive
heard that there're pretty caucasian girls dressed up as nurses
if u pay 10bucks
they'll feed you alcohol while sitting on ur lap
n their alcohol is not from glasses
but from packets with tube attached to it
similar to the blood packet u've seen when u were doing blood donation
they allow u to touch almost everywhere
thats just rumours lah
nv really seen the nurses
much less anyone touching them
but saw the alcoholic packet though
clubbing experience wasnt that great
n it has nothing to do with my blistered foot
dance floor is small
drinks are expensive
and sitting area just sucks?
we were roaming around for like 15mins before the bouncer get us some secluded seats with full-blast aircon
music wise, totally rojak
sometimes RnB, and then trance, n then techno?
eh..really..
u nid music to dance
but I couldnt grasp any music mood
too rojak to speak of
much less to accomodate to the music so that u can dance
like once u've started to get used to the genre
the DJ change the genre again
luckily din have to pay entrance fee
if not I "ai wan" ar
will regret big time
n I thought China Black or Devils is one of the lousiest I've been
Clinic will be top on this list
but luckily
all night is not that bad
one guy by the name of Hubert was throwing his b'dae party there
n offered us Martell + green tea
we got 2 though
even though he offered 3
cheers to him
n drank it
vodka cranberry consists of 97% cranberry and 3% Vodka
totally no kick
I can go 7-11 and buy one vodka + caramel and I got more kick than that
but thanks to the Martell
my trip there is not wasted
though not high enough
at least got warm-warm feeling inside me
haha
but the nest day was a disaster lah
I was rooted to my seats
n was so tired I had to nap during lunch and skip lunch
ok
no more clubbing on weekdays
its disaster

sat went to Cineleisure for Stomp the Yard
stomping seems like the new hip-hop?
haha
2.5/5 I would give
storyline is ok
dancemoves are ok
the only thing that is cool is the last dance move by the lead
would say not as good as Step-up or Take The Lead or You Got Served
but still
ok to watch but u'll be disappointed if u're into dance
however,
there were some break dancing competition going on
all sorts of people are there
Japanese, Koreans, Indonesians...blah blah
even The Dance Floor's Spyder were there too
but they were not competing
just showing off their moves
still
all dance fanatics are all there
good way to see some hot chicks doing break dance too
but mostly are men
n they're all looking good
haha
but what I'm impressed most is the music
DJs are damned good k!
all music they spin is like magic
that one got mood to dance
but not break dance lah..
haha
after all these had dinner at Cafe Cartel
all 8 of us are like joking ard
nice gathering!
more next time!!!!!

nowadays I'm more troubled by which phone to buy
since my S700i has served me enough
for more than 2 years I'm finally able to settle down with a much better phone
but of course
ppl upgrade

so right now I'm just torn by these phones: W880i and W610i
like what i've said
nothing is perfect
let go of those fancy phones I've mentioned earlier
let me do some pros and cons in my own opinion
hopefully I can decide after I finish this entry
Its a 3G phone
Pros over W610i: 3G, super-slim and light, 2x2.0 MP cameras, 1GB external mem
Cons over W610i: no flash light, no FM radio
its a 2.5G phone
Pros over w880i:flash light, FM radio
Cons over W880i: not 3G, 512MB external mem only (unless I can buy 1GB), 1x2.0MP camera, heavier than W880i by 14g and thicker than W880i by 4.6mm (its a big difference if u take out ur ruler and measure)

other than these, almost all their functions are the same
or not to my concern
radio is important
cos I get bored with songs n music easily
n I'm lazy to go change
n when I listen to radio I wun slp easily
cos somebody is like talking
especially shows like Dan and Young show
and 1GB mem is a must
cos I like to store songs inside my phone
camera-wise, not too much of a concern
just the quantity
3G doesnt matter also
either way I'll still change the SIM card in case I need my dearie's phone..
the size and weight does matter
imagine S700i's bulkiness
u should know that I've had enough of bulky stuff
the others are just some minor concerns
like infrared
who use that now?
n I dont use bass cos I find that it is polluting whatever I'm hearing
so its a tough choice?
yeah
both are important and yet it poses no threat

nvm
I'm tired already
lemmi think about it
maybe I'll put the price into consideration
muahahahahahaha
byez~

a whole week of programmes

2007-03-05T23:15:00.000+08:00

fwah!

CNY is over!

now a lot of people have post-holiday syndrome

me too!

alright..

whole week nv update..

lets start from weekdays bah

cos sunday nothing going on....

anyway

monday was as usual

went to work..
then my user off again

so practically doing those small small things lo

go and find problems for myself to solve....

then tuesday went to work as usual..

then my colleagues ask if I wanna go donate blood together..

then go lo..since I also wanna try the experience of donating blood to somebody u dunno..

in the end my colleagues cannot donate cos she went to do CG or something..

then I go ahead..

muahahaha

it was really cool k

even though the blood is alot

a whole packet of it..

when they were trying to see how red my blood is

my blood just flood my whole finger

as though my super red blood is overflowing with nutrients

haha

even plaster cannot stop the blood

so use some cloth dressing to stop the blood

after it was stopped, out came the bruise

luckily its a super small bruise

I had to hold the stress ball for like 10mins until my packet is full

that day I was wearing purple top and white pants..

carrying purple wallet with purple lanyard (for IRAS pass)

then u know what?

the person who attended me gave me a purple handband!

muahahahaha

so happy lo

n I got to keep the stress ball

but have to eat Iron pills

but so far havent touch it..

wed one see LoveDiary

cos its our 1yr4months!!!

Thursday nv really meet..
then Friday he went to his classmate's house for CNY
n I went home because sat got faculty test

Friday night I was irritated
because MZ always sms me..
actually I wasnt irritated by her
I was irritated by myself
because I was so damned stressed!
but everyone tolerated me u know!
like my once a while da xiao jie pi qi came out
thanks MZ and dearie for tolerating me
oops
come to think of it
I forgot to say thank you to HX for wishing me good luck
*argh!!*
later sms her thank you
haha
stress is lidat one

Sat a lot of ppl went
but it did not really hit the number of people they targeted to recruit for ADM?
cos max is 200 ppl
but ppl came is abt 150++
but nvm lah
questions are really interesting
one of the most relaxing test I've took!
cos when u draw, u tend to relax a lot more
but managed to finish all (not that good, i think) within one n a half hour
hoping for the best and expects the worse!!!
haha

then after that went to meet dearie at CityLink
went to had Ninja jap food
nice neh!
fusion of jap and western
but I wouldn't recommend western food
cos even though it tastes not bad
it just feels weird
haha

MZ have to go for her jap class
then we went to Career Fair 2007..
found out that there are so many animation and multimedia courses out there
dearie oso did market research on his course
good prospects!!
haha
went to take a hell lot of brochures
reading at home..
nice lah..
especially NTU and UniSIM..
can drop RDI le..
then went shopping ard suntec
bought a couple's wear and a t-shirt from Giordano
$18 for 3 pieces

anyway
ah ma's b'dae celebration next..
whole day is damned packed
it was really entertaining
won a $18 hong bao
=.=
the money I spent on t-shirt got replaced..
then my xiaoyi's maid guessed one game correctly
n won $124..
the game is that everyone can put whatever money inside (5cents to 10bucks)
then participants can guess how much is the total
who guessed it correctly can take all the money home
budden have to perform before taking the money
which is wear red bra and dance ard the KTV area 3 rounds..
she did it lo
(video to be retrieved from my sister soon)
entertaining for us
n she gets to send the money back to her hometown too..
^^
then my grandma has a cake of mahjong's "da si xi"
which means north, east, south, west and 2 "fa" make up 13 tiles..
(picture to be shown soon)
nice lo!!
haha
n then we went home after that..
feeling really happy abt the whole thing

my granny's celebration the next day
her 80th birthday
then my mummy say her lo
cos 80th birthday cannot celebrate at home one mah
haha
budden my whole family were like interviewing my sis's bf
woo-hoo
I keep quiet..
nothing to say
then after that xiaogu, xiaogu zang, Felix, my sis, her bf, my mummy n me went to "lao yu sheng" cos its the last day of CNY..
someone struck lottery
haha
then went to eat something extra lo
then after that went home..
n started to do something online
back to my dull life..
n I'm having some serious post-holiday syndrome....

ps:I've already uploaded the figure skating video at the entry of december's "Before and After Christmas", as well as updated last blog entry because I forgot about the lion dance..dun forget to check out this blog entry for funny dance and beautiful mahjong cake!

The Path That I Really Wanna Go

2007-02-25T04:22:00.000+08:00

these past few days has been happening
mainly because of CNY
but others are jusst part and parcel of life..

I've handled in my portfolio, movie and composition
did what I could to make sure that I am still in the position for getting into NTU
hopeful as I am
I've also expected that worse

When I was preparing for my portfolio and stuff
I really did wanna give up
mainly cos I have to struggle between work and my preparation
it seems like not a hard thing at all
but it all sums up to this question:
Do I really wanna get in?

I struggled with it
and came to the point that I've come so far
and that this is one only chance that may be left for me to do what I really want
why should I give up?

and then just now went to Fuzion ex-colleagues gathering
E told me the cold hard truth of career in animation
and blah blah
I nid to know these
so that I am better prepared for the worse
and also hope for the best
I've always been lidat
and suddenly I realised that Singapore is not the way to expand what I want
I nid to go to places like US and Japan to be exposed..
I'm mentally prepared for it
but is anyone ard me prepared for it?
these suddenly questions just come popping out and flood my mind..
but I'm still hopeful if I can get in
cos seriously I dun have great results
I just register cos I really want it..

enough of sad things..
Friday went to take my report
it was working perfectly fine
so nothing is wrong lah

budden Friday I'm quite bz
have to take care of some stuff for portfolio..
then go grandpa's house for reunion dinner
then have to help dearie change his clothes..
luckily can change Levi's jeans to my daddy's size
and buy him another pair..
and change the shirt..
thank goodness everything's working perfectly fine
but I din get to meet MZ and HX as promised
still feeling bad abt it.....

then sat have to go my grandpa's house (again) to do some offerings for ancestors
was overslpt
but luckily made it on time cos they started everything not long ago
did what I nid to do
and rushed home
clean up the house
did some silly things
were angry with my daddy who only wanted to just sit there and do nothing
snapped at him quite a lot of times that day
but luckily he bought the pants from me lah
at discounted price: $88
then found out that he struck lottery..
how nice can anything be sia?
rushed everything
and managed to prepare myself for dearie's sec sch close friend's gathering
cos one of them is flying to US for a couple of months on CNY day 2
so we went to watch Ghost Rider
movie was ok..
but it can be improved
not the storyline
but the fighting scenes
after the movie is photography session
can u imagine 3guys were taking each other's photo with a camera that worth $6k?
yeah..
I was involved too
though it felt weird
maybe because of those pictures I took at iModel
phobia liaoz..
I seem to be afraid of cameras

now talk abt CNY
you know how much I actually spent for CNY?
more than a thousand bucks...
from furniture to clothes
its a hell lot of money!

CNY day 1 is as usual
went to grandpa's place then 2nd granduncle's place
went to gamble for killing time
luck wasnt too bad
cos I din lose
neither did I win lah..
budden went to dearie's house..
I've also brought some CNY goodies there
cos dearie brought some over to my place..
its courtesy to "hui-li" to his family
but I bought a lot more lah
got bah-kua, peanuts, blah blah
its really heavy!
as usual
spent my night at dearie's house

CNY day 2..
went to er-gu and er-yi's house
was rushing a lot..
cos I forgot to bring something then have to go home and take
then in the end something came very shocking
the gathering at er-gu's house became a very intense meeting
after that had lunch and rushed to er-yi's house..

got lion dance (as usual)

and the lion back is my cousin

get 4D numbers from this picture!

(not so obvious one lah..must study the picture)
after the lion dance..
its gambling time of course
in the end?
won a total of 30bucks thru black jack
a lot of money lo!!
split between dearie and me cos he put money I play
and reaching 6pm we rushed all the way back to Tampines from Seletar Hill to visit dearie's shenshen's house
were supposed to have dinner there
budden in the end dearie play mahjong
He won abt 10-20bucks I think
and thats when I realised that luck is all I nid in life
cos when u have luck you have money and whatever u want?
haha
then dearie went to my house to slp that night..

CNY day 3...
nobody's going to xiao-yi's house early
so dearie and I went to Genki to eat
we were pretty down before CNY
(he's down on his studies while i'm down on my portfolio and other stuffs)
so just to make ourselves happy lo
then went to xiao yi's house..
lose 20 over bucks on black jack
haix
then stop and went home after that cos that time havent do my video..
stayed awake till like 5am n then finished the video
damned tiring lo
then next day headache like hell so nv go work
go get MC..and shun bian go NTU hand up whatever I nid to hand in..
suddenly feel relieved
I like the school alot
but I was lost lah
so asked a non-singaporean for direction
I really dunno what he was saying
cant tell if he's indonesian, thai or japanese
so I always repeat what he said so as to correct my misunderstandings
n suddenly it rained!!!!!
fwah
so drama lo
and I was really drenched when I was heading home
still like NTU a lot..
nvm
I can slowly enjoy the environment on the 3rd of march for faculty test
hehe
cant wait for that day to come!

then CNY day 5 go work lah
then saw 2 mandarin oranges inside a small bag on my desk
then I realised everyone has one of those bags
=.=
but the 2days at work is productive
cos I'm not so tied up by 2 different things
n I managed to achieve the results that I want
^^

yesterday was ren ri..
went to dearie's house for some fortune telling
his uncle(fortune teller) told me that I am a man inside a lady's body..
eh..what I meant was my character abit macho...
abit like man lah
cannot offend me one
if not I'll like bring the world upside down (read: I'll flare)
n he advise Dearie to give in to me(read: =.=")
then I ask if I can get into NTU
he said its not the matter of whether I can get in
its the matter of my mood
if NTU wants me n I'm not in the mood to go in
then I wun lo.. (then I was like thinking..fwah..I so da-pai one meh?)
then had my super late meal (first n last meal of the day between 8-9pm)
went to have some drinks at ECP's Beach Cabana..(as mentioned earlier)
its still some cool gathering...
but damned tired
cos I drank a total of 3mugs of beer..
dunno for what..
like I'm still down neh
(read LoveDiary for more info)
but still..
not a bad day..

alright
I'm really tired..
go have rest le..

shopping spree turns nightmare

2007-02-16T02:12:00.000+08:00

today went out with HX for CNY shopping spree
again I spent a lot of $$
my monthly pay is like gone
since I already know what I want

but what's agonizing is that
my dearie has got no time to shop for his
then I became his personal shopper
wanted to buy something nice for him
but in the end everything got backfired

Levi's jeans doesnt fit
t-shirt doesnt fit too
I got so traumatized
might as well he buy himself

I took the size of his jeans he told me last time
n I even sms-ed him asking him if I can buy
i waited for some 30mins
n I decided to buy w/o his reply
because he was having common test
then he told me that I'm an implusive buyer
I kept quiet
I cant say more
I knew he had a bad time at home
so I just kept very quiet

then I still can smile and say "Please go and try if the t-shirt fits. if it doesnt, I can try n change all of them, ok?"
he took out the 2 t-shirt
1 he said the design is nice
n it fits
but its black
so cannot wear for cny
it has nv crossed my mind for him to wear that shirt
i just tot its nice n would like him to wear..
the other one
different design
but meant for cny
was about 3cm short on the shoulder width
but its of the same size
n same brand
cutting completely fail?
nvm
luckily the salesgirl say can change the next day to another product if it doesnt fit
if not I can jolly well kill myself

now I wonder if Isetan allow me to change the size of the jeans to 34?
it's a CNY sales item
so it may just backfire..
n will my mummy actually pay for a 100bucks jeans for my daddy?
even though I called while she was obviously slping
and she agrees to buy that pair of jeans
I think I'll pay a visit to her when she's working
cos she may not know what she said just now
at most I try to change it to ladies jeans for myself if she doesnt want
that one alone is a headache..
cos my daddy will scream!

I'm not sure if I'm going to help him buy again
learn from the same mistakes?
yeah
it has left a super big mark in my brain
this sux big time

now I cant slp cos my heart report is tomorrow
even though dearie said i'll be fine
but that v-day experience (for more info, check out LoveDiary) did freak me out
so many things to do
so little time
argh!
I just added a few chores for myself today!
stressed!!!!!

Stressed to the max!!

2007-02-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

These days I'm just pretty stressed
my work isnt progressing much
with the UAT going on coming mon
and my submission to be done for NTU's admission
I'm just so stressed and bad tempered
when I only get abt 4 hours slp per day

finally the last week of SIP
and no more journals!!!!
I hate journals when 'forced to do'
I remember my sec sch eng teacher wanted me to write something every week for journal
I did quite well for that
cos i got praised in the class
but this one isnt what it was

I've finally completed drawing a face and a can of Heaven and Earth Gui Hua Tea
and I'm still down to CitiGem's jewel
and I'm done!
decided to head down to NTU on V-day
before I go prepare ingredients for my v-day special: home-cooked meal
so far dearie only get a chance to eat my instant noodles
now, its some canned soup with grilled ribeye steak
not forgetting some fries and baby carrots and broccoli
I'm not a great cook
and that the best I can present

wed went to have lunch with the whole team of CMTA and AI/TI/BICAMS
went to pizza hut
were supposedly a farewell lunch for Simon and me
but I'm staying
but still couldnt escape the speech
had v-day specials and 2 lunch pizzas
Charles is one lucky man
cos 5 ladies (including me) were sitting with him
eating the v-day special heart pizza and the brownie
^^

I felt much better after slping for a whole of 12hours
I've replenished my slpless nights
but I'm still bothered about how I'm going to scan my A2 size papers
haix..
not all things come easy

alright
my dearie is feeling really bored
gtg
cya!

My work

2007-02-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

finally!!
went to bk Timah
got back Joey, Michiko and my work pieces
had lunch with Shervon
her treat
and we talked alot
including how to wow the professors in NTU
haha
but in the end she insisted that I shold take cab home
her treat too..
I was so paiseh..
after some embarassing moments
I finally accepted the money and took a cab home..

I had like an hr and a half's journey to bk timah
but less than an hour home..
and then there are just so many papers I actually hurt my back just by carrying it
but nonetheless I saw so many beautiful things there
all the houses are just so nice...
did u see any house that has a size of 3terrence houses?
I saw one today
super big neh!!
and the things they sell and road names I saw...
its a totally different culture there..

now is thinking about how I'm going to apply for admission..
there're just some things you need to put into consideration..
I guess my inferiority complex is coming back
maybe cos I realised I din really accomplish a lot of things neh
so I must give myself a lot of confidence!!!!
muahahahahahahaha..

nowadays have to OT till 8pm like almost everyday
unless I chose not to OT lah..
haha
but it seems like working at night is so much better
not sure why
if I go home early
most probably I'll fall aslp asap
but if I go home late
I'll slp at abt mn
and 6am have to wake up
just really tired
but couldnt stop and rest
I'm starting to feel that I'm a weirdo or something.....

maybe next time I'll squeeze in some time to go take some really nice pictures
like a cold storage in the shophouses row
haha
gtg
take care

PS to Joey n Michiko:
please inform me when u guys wanna take back ur stuff n be prepare to have a huge bag
I dont think I'm going to bring it to TP cos it's really heavy..

Sleepless night

2007-02-02T00:51:00.000+08:00

I cant slp at all
today is the official opening of registration of NTU
went in to check

(i) A portfolio or demo reel of personal artwork, including projects developed in school. The portfolio should demonstrate general artistic proficiency plus potential in the desired area of BFA expertise (i.e. animation, photography, design, etc). (Read below for portfolio details)

(ii) A short written composition in English of no more than 400 words explaining why you are uniquely qualified to enter a specific BFA program.

(iii) A 3-minute movie with a personal explanation/performance demonstrating why you should be admitted into the BFA. The movie format should be a region-free DVD, a QuickTime or MediaPlayer file on a CD-ROM, or a DV tape. Movies longer than 3 minutes will not be reviewed.

closing date:21Feb

I called Shervon today
n ask when I can get back my work
obviously it mean a lot to me
n we arranged it to be Sat 10am at her house
cos I have to meet dearie after his leadership "exam" at abt noon
but I guess when dearie is studying for his exam during CNY
I'll be doing my portfolio..
how can I ensure I can get it all printed n sent on time?
maybe I'll send it personally
n get a glimspe of NTU
right now I'm so excited until I cant slp
keep thinking about what to say in the video
what to write in my composition
where is my sec sch portfolio
this is tough as expected
because anyone who has a diploma or Os or As can apply
I'm like more excited about this than those times when I apply to go to polytechnic
200places to get in
200 out of 5 bachelor courses
besides that
theres a faculty test on March

I guess I'm going to faint due to excessive adrenaline rush
questions are funny for faculty test:
- You will be given a set of simple geometric shapes, you are to create a “visual metaphor” of a word or phrase.
- You will be provided with an example of a product or a service, create an advertisement that will communicate with an audience to sell or raise awareness of the product or service.
- If you are right handed, draw a picture of your left hand in pencil or ink. If you are left handed, draw a picture of your right hand in pencil or ink.
- Using a set of graphic elements create three abstract compositions that demonstrate three emotional states of mind.
- Use your pencil to create ten completely different types of marks.
- You will be given a set of three photos of children and three photos of animals, select one photo of a child and one photo of an animal. In six panels create a story board which shows an interaction between the child and the animal.
- In 200- 300 words, write a humorous anecdote of something that happened to you recently.

I'm going to faint soon
one and a half hour to write all 6 questions?
is it enough?
I cant contain my anxiety
if not it'll bring me down soon
its so late already
n I cant slp!
what about work tml?
=.=

oh ya
SAA called
saying that I'm exempted from Napfa
he asked me if I'll be ok if he exempt me from Napfa
without thinking, I gave him my honest answer:
"I seriously dont mind if u exempt me from it."
he explained that doctors are very carefuly about heart problems
and since I'm suffering from palpitation
he doesnt want to risk my life and exempt me from it
happy?
of course

I'm quite happy cos nowadays,
even I lift my legs 45degrees up while lying down for less than a minute
I felt like I'm suffocating myself
and to run 2.4km + all other exaggerated exercises
I could've just die or faint

alright
If I dont slp right now
I'll be dead tomorrow..
till then............................

Busy

2007-01-25T11:44:00.000+08:00

sorry for the late entry
these few weeks will be a hectic one because I will have to finish all for testing by end Feb..
right now?
not too optimistic..

I've been doing OT till 8pm like almost everyday so that I can finish my codings
and most probably I'll have to extend my work period..
so right now I'm just eating alone in my office every lunch hr to get used to that time when no other interns will eat with me..
sad life..

today I went to the hospital to do a 24 hours ECG test..
the device will be attached to my body for 24 hours
n next day I'll go back to hospital to remove it..
it's really uncomfortable..

I've also received a SMS from HL saying that ZD and HL are getting married on the 14th of Oct..
thats a great news right?!
n they went to ROM not long ago
they're good at planning such things
as I start to think abt it
it's actually hard to get married and have babies..
the planning must be done a few years ahead unless u have a lot of money to spare for such events
its just another headache
looking for house is another thing
everything needs money
and carefully planning to get something realy nice for ur newly created family
not sure about other ppl
but I'm quite some perfectionist
and to do everything well n beautiful
its hard....

well
enough of thoughts
I'm so depressed right now cos I'm terribly broke
my mistake this month is that I shouldnt be so kan jiong to go IKEA and buy stuff
should wait for next month..
n another mistake is dun be softhearted
if not it'll cost u a lot of money!
I gave in to my hair-dresser into buying one product that I really dun nid to use..
its a rebonding shampoo
I should've reminded myself that my scalp is sensitive and any other shampoo from salon will just create itchy scalp with dandruff
but I totally dun regret buying what my hair-stylist recommended - a left-on gel that helps minimise the frizzy hair and moisturise my hair
well
2 products cost my 60
and now I'm over the budget I set before I gotten my salary..
thats all for my mistakes for the month
T.T
things always make me feel broke
no matter how I tried to minimise it
its bad u know
I should do some soul serching on this money issue with myself..
maybe set a do's and dont's
tired of feeling broke

I wanna go NTU......
life is so much better when u study..

The after-graduation path

2007-01-14T15:45:00.000+08:00

this weekend i've been going to career fair as well as NTU university talks
in hope to getting hold of the possibilities I want in life.

As for career fair (oh no, I forgot to do the feedback thingy)
it was alright
the only thing I find it useful is the OSCAR thing
I've learnt a lot of other jobs' scope as well
but most of them are not what I want.

but the most wonderful thing is
I get to eat Design canteen's food again!
I'd breaded chicken with nacho cheese
n it's so delicious!
even the fries are delicious!
Design (sch) ppl are just so fortunate~

next I went to NTU's seminar
I got the letter like at 12pm
and the Art, Media and Design talk is at 2pm..
so I rushed all the bathing and transport (MRT)
n finally made it to the talk
it was so interesting!!
n AMD is applicable to all diplomas now!
that means I can take after graduating!
but one bad thing is..
I have to produce my portfolio before Feb.
scary!
but I really hope to go to the NTU professor's invitation to his lecture..
even though it's far n maybe quite late (8pm, by the time I reach home it may be 11pm)
but I still wanna go......

either way
going to prepare for my portfolio after I've gotten my A2 drawing block and A4 sketing paper
I guess I really wanna get into NTU badly despite the doubts inside me..
it's just something I really love to do for the rest of my life..

hope for the best and expects the worse
^^
oh ya..
tml going for heart checkup,
as well as buying my capelet,
do my new hairstyle and maybe my bedsheets..
I only nid to work for half day..
(but still nid to work)
I better remember that my whole office has shifted to 23rd floor and not B1..
habits can sometimes make u feel silly
*wink*

my own problem

2007-01-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted
for wad reason?
I dunno
maybe it's PMS
maybe i'm just tired of my current life

I notice that when I'm in a relationship I'm always tired of my life..
maybe cos since sec 1 I've nv been single for more than 2 months (except the year of my 21st b'dae)
haha..
maybe I should engage a part-time lover should my current relationship fails..
or be a mistress of someone..
maybe I wouldnt feel so lonely
or be so tired of my attached life..

do u have times when u feel like just burying urself in slp
or to work soooo damned hard at work just to get over ur problems?
I did
n frankly speaking I did stayed till 7pm during my dearie's I-Guides camp just so that I can reach home late
n wash up..
n slp immediately so that I can just forget abt him
to my knowledge it fails!
I was too exhausted but I still couldnt slp
much worse than death

I believe everday I'll just shout to myself (privately) abt getting a life of my own
to get independent again
n ignore dearie
I cant possibly cry every moment like this n self-pity myself as though my end of days is to be crushed by another problem in a relationship..
I made it too complicated for myself..
n he thinks that its actually very simple
communication breakdown badly
cos I've already stopped communicating to anyone I know
I listen
but I dun care..
nobody will want me to care
so one ear in one ear out

dearie oso showed me his I-Guides video
no anticipation
no happiness
I feel like a doll(with no feelings)
maybe I cant be bothered to have one
cos too much can kill me (heart attack)..

I'm just a person with no emotion
pls dun read any of my blog entries anymore
I'm afraid u'll be bored to death....

that marks the end of the year

2007-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

good bye 2006,
hello 2007!
well
the past yr has been a bad one for most of us
(for me its just the fyp n my marketing)
but since its all gone
I hope we all face the future with anticipation!

on 30th dec after I blogged I went to my uncle's wedding dinner at Qian Xi Lou
(at Tanjong Katong Complex)
well
my bad to forget most of my relatives
I remember trying to remember how to address my lao gu
thats just me
something that is not beside me most of the time will just make me forget abt them
maybe thats because I can get over things fast
whole thing was nice lo
but it din gimme that i-wanna-get-married feeling that my distant cousin's wedding dinner gave
but still
I dont plan to get married early
just that feeling can make u feel really happy for the next few weeks
which I dunno y
n that night my mummy n sista agrees to chip in $$ to buy OTO Trimax!!!
wo-hoo!
(just cause my mummy decided to wear cheong sam on CNY day 1)

well
for the 31st dearie n I went to City Plaza n shop
after visiting Arnold's Chicken Restaurant (located at lvl 2) for lunch
it made us so damned full (with 5 pieces chicken, 1 big coleslaw, 2 drinks, 1 fries and 1 criss-cross fries)
I din get to finish my stuff
left abt 5% of the food left..
sinful!
then we went to find that Paris Fashion shop I've been wanting to shop
but much to my disappointment
those clothes too Paris le..
I like laces n stuff
but the whole thing just makes u feel weird wearing them in the streets..
in the end we went aimless shopping
n went into this shop that helped the 1st season's Project Superstar to supply clothes
then I suddenly picked up 2 dresses to try on
n each cost 60bucks
tried one
not happy
tried another one
not happy either
picked another color
not happy
then suddenly dearie told the salesgirl that he's taking one of the dresses
I was in utter shock
loss for words
1 dress 60bucks?
somemore I look fat in it one?
got something wrong ar?
budden he insist that I should buy cos he said it looks really nice on me
n he keep insisting that I am not even plump! (can u believe it?)
its really skimpy one lo
n the last time I remember daring myself to wear those skimpy clothes is ard my 21st b'dae
when my complexion n body is at its peak
but now?
it's at its lowest pt
when everywhere u go everyone just say how mmuch u've gained
it just put u in depression mood immediately
but anyway
if not plump y everyone keep talking abt it?
wadeva
so in the end we headed home early after roaming ard the area for a little while
n went to dearie's house n pack up his room (he packs only cos I offered to help after he complained that I din help..n he declined me..so I play Sudoku online while he pack up)
then after he packs his room he wanted to play his chinese RPG game
n I slpt while he played
(cos I offered to help him solve the mystery in the game n he decline me again)
n guess what?
I slp talk n say I dont like the clothes that we recently bought
(direct translation of "wo bu si huan gang cai mai de yi fu")
n that made him quite sad
I din mean it
n I swear to any god in heaven that it has never crossed my mind at all!
so how can I say it as if it really did cross my mind?
man
must be somethings like mushu (Mulan II) that made me say something like that

anyway
then most ppl came to dearie's house for gathering
I brought 2 sparkling fruit juices, 1 white wine & 1 red wine
n then dearie ordered 2 pizzas from canadian pizza n got 2 pizzas free
we watched You, Me and Dupree while eating
n I seriously dunno what that show is all about..
too confusing!
then after that T came
n those ppl who play mahjong play mahjong
those dunno how to play mahjong one slack there doing nothing
can see CS n HX like quite sian..
the rest ok lah
haha
they also watched Son of Mask..
then they left at abt 2am..
s went to have midnight movie
HX, Joy, CS and HW went to have supper
T went home
I'm too tired to go out..(even though I slpt from 4-6pm)
so dearie pei me at his house lo

1st jan
went to town
were looking for something to go with the dress dearie bought
too skimpy
I need some cover-ups
if not I'll be talk of the year..
but first is dinner
went to Forum's Genki Sushi
the best Genki bah
they even have private rooms (with slidding doors)
next time can ask everyone go have dinner there
super nice neh!
laugh oso nobody care
dearie said their ramen is better the Ajisen's one
haha
n I worked at that place before
even though all staff (including managers) are all different (that was like 5 years ago)
I still think that it's the best Genki in S'pore cos their HQ is just nearby
*.*
went ard Heeren, Far East Plaza for shopping
found this capelet from Series
cost 60 bucks
if I buy that
it'll be the most expensive CNY clothes of all my life
but its really nice neh~
n it wun make me look fat..
but how abt shoes?
I need to calculate the budget first to see if I can give in a bit..
T.T

jia you jia you jia you!
I can make this year better!
here's my yearly resolution:

1. go slim down (already started)
2. move out from my cockroaches-infested and closet-burglared house
3. get a at least 1.6K salary job by May
4. pay off my stupid tution loan debts (by 1.5 years later)
5. return my daddy $$ before CNY
6. get back all borrowed clothes(my clothese are precious)

if I can actually get my resolution..
I can be a goddess man
if only i can.....................

before n after christmas

2006-12-30T01:26:00.000+08:00

well
friday was like really a gift day
as there are a lot of people who're giving me presents n stuffs
in the office n family gathering
there are always presents involved

the first thing my supervisor came in is to give out presents
n I'm like the first few to get those presents
with all the sweets n chocolates wrap inside
I thought I saw something weird when I spotted a nail polish
I wasnt dreaming!
n it was some really nice color nail polish(grey glitter)
just nice for my CNY nails
^^

oh ya
did i tell u there's figure skating performance in Novena sq?
so nice lo
we watched the whole performance:

Video: Skating at Novena Sq
then we went to pepper lunch for dinner
n went ard showing things I wanted to show him
then he was asked to play games in novena sq
n he got the records same as those who left the top record
n he just said he tot we're in hurry to go my auntie's place
so he finished the game hastily

n then went to my xiaoyi's party located at her house
1st is to celebrate the shy but beautiful Ariel's b'dae
man..she looks really princessy
even though her hair is like short n curly
but she's so pretty n cute!!
alright
2nd is an early christmas celebration
everyone got some gifts
through lucky draw n quizzes then u can get ur present
also have some games for everyone to laugh n play
like the horse racing game:
3 people were chosen as horses
then people can bet on which horses can win
but its not really a strength game
its luck game cos whoever bet on the horses will have to choose the color stick
each color stick represents each horses
so when the stick is choosen
the horse who get the stick can proceed to the next chair..
total got abt 10 chairs
first horse to reach the finish chair will win
then someone will pick 2 winners from the people who bet the horse
n all the money that ppl bet on the horse
will be shared among the 3 horses n 2 winners
haha
n my sista was one of the horses

nonetheless
I also participated in the quizzes n lucky draw
got a hush puppies boxers set
which I totally dont use
n since the size is M
my dearie couldnt use it either
in the end give the present to my dad who wasnt even there
my mummy got a box of ferrero rocher
n my sis got a traveller's makeup bag which is like so expensive
as compared to last yr's very expensive watch
(i havent even use it cos waiting for really glamourous occasion to wear it with some pretty dresses)
is totally heaven n earth...
but still
its for the sake of fun
n my daddy got something new

still
I got some really scary collections of movies from my xiao yi
n hopefully i can finish watching it like b4 30th dec
if not dunno when can return my xiao yi liaoz..
I also got some working clothes from my xiao yi
so the whole gathering's still not that bad huh?
hehe

so my whole family took my sis's bf, steve's car home
watched the 1st movie at dearie's house:Devil wears Prada
nice leh!
haha
finally get to watch it
man
I would kill to wear those very pretty clothes man!
sorry..
thats just a figure of speech
but nice right?!
haha

anyway
slpt after that regardless of wadeva disturbance
so damned tired lo
past few days were slping at 1am
I thought I'm going to die of fatigue
~_~
but I replenishes all fatigue with very good slp (read:13hours)
muahahhaa..
energetic..can go out liaoz~!
so the whole sat is just slacking at dearie's house
went to Tampines NTUC buy cha soba stuff...
n then went home n eat
watched 2 movies..
Son of Mask and Bridget Jones Diary
watch until we fell aslp..
no disturbance by the way

on christmas eve I went out with dearie, T, S and J to Great World City
caught Night At The Museum
2nd visit to GV Max
1st was with C081
but anyway
it was some really nice n funny show
felt good when the whole GV Max was like laughing together..
somemore so big lo
n it was full house (except the first row)
rating is 4/5..

then we sent J to her bf's house
n went for supper at Jackson's Food Centre
Jackson reminded me of my ex
but that din matter
it was wayyyyy before I know the girls..
anyway
had nice supper
n then went home....

I've also gotten some presents from Ju, S and Jo:
From Ju (handkerchief, bathing and face towel)
From S (FF cushion)
From Jo (Dark chocolate)

at home
dearie and I played like 2 rounds of DotA before going to slp
the last game ended at abt 7-8am
then wake up at 5.30pm n realised that we were late for dinner with other friends
so we rushed...
n managed to reach there at abt 6.15-6.30pm..
then we went to seng pang Bedok (not sure if i spelt it correctly)
n had some more food n drinks..
full like hell lo that day
dinner already so full
still can eat stuff like prata at Bedok..
but all food are nice lah..
I've also gotten some presents from HX n Jos:

From HX(bracelet and Adrian Mole:The Cuppuccino Years [I've already read half of the book])
From Jos (Baby pink polo tee)

then after the gathering was supposed to buy the Death Note Marathon tix
supposedly have to buy on christmas eve
but go out too late le so nv buy..
T.T
but u know what?
it's sold out!
so what to do
I suck in all the bitterness of disappointment n sent some sms to ppl who're involved..

weekdays
been tired more each day
have been catching War and Beauty like everyday despite the late hours
how nice..
n worse still?
every night after show I cant slp
part of it is waiting for dearie to call when he's i I-Guides camp
n i seriously got really peh chek when he doesnt pick up the phone
just when I called n to really tell him that I'm really going to slp
n then in the end he called me like few mins when I'm already halfway to sleep-like-log mode
after talking to him I cant slp at all...

I told S abt how peh chek I am to wait for his call/sms
n how I keep telling myself that he's just bz in the camp n unable to sms/call back
but even persuasion on myself doesnt seems to work
n I still cant help but feel annoyed
S still say its natural
I guess i'm having foul mood cos of my lack of beauty sleeps
n I'm getting bossy lately..
just like "my partner" trying to irritate me with stupid comments and replies
maybe he din get his slp too
but I really hope he can just stay at home n recuperate from his lung infection
n stop annoying me when some ppl are doing that to me..
to be honest, I'm afraid of viruses too..

anyway
this fri is IRAS yr end function
n it lasted like 2 n a half hours
but i tihnk i go there be extra
cos games may not have our share
n lucky draw dun have our share too
to say we're just interns
so i got bored n asked my supervisor permission to go office n do my stuff..
managed to complete whatever I'm needed to do
n run the batch for user to check..
if successful
I can upgrade from SIT to UAT
hehe
n add some more stuff into my precious report..

anyway
fri after work went to meet S, C, M, J at Cathay Tower
we had food at The Indulgez (if i get the spelling correctly)
n laughed as though we were SACians again...
it was happy..
but I din meet dearie after he got back from his I-Guides camp
something strange is going on soon..
thats my 6th sense

alright
enough of saying
this is a long entry
enjoy~
n Happy new year!

one sentence from me: men have 5 senses: taste, smell, sight, hear, touch
women have 7 senses: 5 from the above, 6th sense and dress sense....

raining season!!!

2006-12-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

it has been raining since like Sat?
what I hated most are those sands that went into my sandals
even though I really tried my best to avoid them touching my feet
worse?
I'm like forced to wear skirts to office so as to avoid my pants from touching those dirt that was accumulated on the floor
because if I do wear pants
it just create some sort of irritation on my leg skin that'll just make me tear my skin
horrified?
certainly
I wouldnt wanna have scarred legs for my uncle's wedding dinner on the 30th this month

today my supervisor dropped the question on me working as a contract staff after I graduate
told dearie abt it
n he said I should consider
I did consider
but contract for a yr
plus salary will not grow ($1.6k i think)
I was just wondering if it can help me in my portfolio for design course..
or make it worse - no time for portfolio (cos they all always OT one)
but on the other hand
since I've already learnt the structure of the codes
I wouldnt have to re-learn it again
n theres a stable pay
I think I still have abt more than a month to weigh the pros n cons

there're also progress in my SIP
which means I learn something new from today onwards!
so happy abt it..
why am I always talking abt work?
maybe cos I experienced some accomplishments in my work
hehe
happy neh!

anyway
nothing to say le...

jos's b'dae camping

2006-12-17T19:05:00.000+08:00

well
got back from the camping site
haha
were having lotsa food!
but eventually still couldnt finish it..

I had crab, sotong, prawn, taiwan sausage, salads, bee hoon
crab i had like 5 of them if i'm not wrong..
BBQ crabs are just so nice!!!!
then we experiment some tastes like BBQ prawns,
Black Pepper prawns and sotongs
butter prawns n sotongs n crabs
the normal spicy types except that they have diff sauces (like sambal n balachan)
n honey prawns~
yummy man
the thought of it made me realised that I've been eating since like late noon till 2am at night?
thats when the party ends

anyway
since we had tents there
we decided to slp there
despite the rain
it start raining cats n dogs at abt 2am
then we went to hide in tents
they were playing bluff
n I was too tired to actually think
so I just lie on dearie's lap n slp
well
the rain just doesnt stop!
at abt 9 am
it stopped suddenly
so we hurried on clearing the site
n it started to drizzle
n go at our fastest speed possible in rain to the Pasir Ris interchange as the rain gets heavier
we were drenched nonetheless
n were freezing!
n to think that the moment we step into the interchage
it started its heavy rain!
thank goodness we left on time
if not we can forget on going home since the rain today just doesnt seem to stop

we had MacDonald's breakfast
n then headed home
it was a nice experience
but it was a pity cos its raining season
still like the food I had
n the gathering we had
managed to cycle for an hr (all ard the park)
but wished I can ride those ponies!
next gathering must be christmas eve
so looking forward to it!
oh ya, I've gave my christmas prezzies to most of the girls
so left dearie's one..

I had fun!
one mroe nice memories added to my brain~!
*wink*

went to see doc n got a shocking news

2006-12-15T15:37:00.000+08:00

today din go to work
cos I'm like very tired
watched The Holiday yesterday at vivocity
nice~
4/5 popcorns!

anyway
yesterday went to meet dearie after quarelling
saw some bunnies n dogs
man they're so adorable!
went to shop ard Daiso
after movies went home
whole atmosphere is really weird
cos we had a really big argument
but everything wasnt as good as b4
or rather
I wonder whats left...

anyway
this morning went to see doc
got my results for thyroid:negative
so I'm free from it
n doc suggested that I should go see heart specialist
it maybe my heart = heart problems
made appointment at 15th jan
i really hope nothing happen to me
especially heart?!
will die one neh
somemore doc say if I got severe pain in the chest
must call 995 immediately
serious de neh!
that sentence scare the hell outta me sia...

right now I'm not at my lowest pt
cos supervisor kinda compliment me
happy de neh~!
friends has been encouraging on my setbacks in relationship
n i just received pay check
so not so depressed
if it all happens like everything is not going
I may end up in hospital
cos of heart attack!!!
"Choy!!"
*touch wood*
but still
I hope my agony can end asap
I'm tired of battling
its just like the previous relationship
draggy n stupid..

anyway
gotta go pack sat stuff
just dragging my feet
cos its to dearie's house first n then spend a night there
things that once exciting now became some draggy event for me
its not abt him
but me
I've officially triggered my withdrawal syndrome
n its taking effect after Evelyn incident
cant blame me
I've already warned him

anyway
enough of sadness
lets embrace christmas!!
haha
Suntec n citilink is having midnight sale this weekend!
n MANGO sale is on!
ZARA may be having their sale next week!
look out worz~!
*vanish*

updated on 17/12/06
-------------------
well,
went to meet dearie for jos's b'dae present
but it did not turn out to be lidat initially
I went to Fashion.LAB n bought 3 clothes
a top n two bottoms for my CNY
its really nice
then figured that since I've already bought like 1 and a half day of CNY clothes
then might as well go buy one more top n it'll be my 2nd n third day of CNY
so went to Mango n bought a sports top
ermz
I'm not sure if I saw the wrong thing or wad
cos that top at vivocity was 10bucks
but in tampines Isetan it's 19bucks
did i see the wrong thing?
i hope i did

then we went to buy tankini for jos
n then bought some "parts" of the christmas prezzies for the girls
intend to DIY myself with all the parts I had

after that went to jos's house for some helping hand program
were doing some food for the next day
in the end finished it at abt 12mn
n went home take my stuff then go dearie's house......

next day went to buy prawns n (supposedly) some stingrays
but there were like too many food n the weather doesnt seem to look good for BBQ
so we abandon stingrays n bought some prawns n crabmeat
haha
all was nice~!
so we started our partying b4 any guests arrives~~~~~~

deprived from fun

2006-12-12T22:59:00.000+08:00

these few days are really sick
although I have not reached the extent of having fever (pls dun put it on me)
I'm having serious flu problems that has been causing me to sneeze for no reason at all
n cough because of sore throat

I am not alone
there are so many people in IRAS who fall sick
n still went to work (like me)
I'm just hoping that I can just finish my current tasks
n rest without worries
somemore my tasks are due this fri
how can I just take MC like it is when I have not finish all my tasks??

although I am not the worse
I'm certainly no better
dearie had fever this morning n still went for his term test
thats real bad
so worried n paid him a visit just now to see if he's fine now
thank god there's no more fever
n he's feeling better
I'm so scared I'm next

anyway
planning to tent at Jos BBQ party
since everyone most likely will bring a couple of tents n stay overnight there
n the boys will be fishing (most probably?)
girls will just go crazy like it has always been
n finally its a different experience from chalet party
(almost everyone did chalet..n I wonder if I was the one who set the trend...since I'm like following my family tradition)
I hope to play volleyball that day
n cycle like I nv cycle b4..
but either way
lets hope we can feed the mosquitos till it drop

Christmas is coming
n I'm fretting on how I can just celebrate christmas this yr
there wun be partying with my family
n dearie most probably will be working
so I'm like sooooooo helpless
n it seems like everyone has something to do on that day
plus I'm very broke
T.T

whatever it iss
thinking abt it will only make me feel more sad
just hope that I manage to go thru that day w/o feeling weird
since every christmas I always have programmes

away from sadness
its really late
till then
enjoy ur shopping~!

pretty nails n wedding bells

2006-12-09T21:07:00.000+08:00

remember the other time when I had red as base n this white petals as some decorative items in my nails?
well
I did it again with my favourite color: purple..
the base did not get brighter like its counterparts,
but it does look a little bit sexier n cooler
n not pinkish
I'm not a pink grl
n everyone knows that
so..which one is nicer?

been trying to find something I'd really like to have at This Fashion n ALANO
but I guess once u have no confidence
whatever u tried doesnt really work
plus my hair looks like some auntie hair
n I'm starting to worry if I dye n rebond it will get worse
but I've already tot of cutting my hair short
I'm no lnoger that glamourous girl I used to be
I dunno how to classify my way of dressing now
but I certainly hope that I can change my wardrobe asap

latest news my uncle getting married on ney yr's eve eve?
haha
if u get what I mean
it's the 30th of dec 2006
the last 2 days of 2006
which means I die die oso have to slim down for pretty dress!
omg
can somebody kill me pls?
n I'm still so not-slim
today went to ALANO just to try out dresses
but it wun work
nono
must really slim down within like 3 weeks
if not i can go kill myself
n my mummy knows me very well neh
she knows that I'll surely go slim down b4 30th
lets pray hard to god
haha

alrighty
gotta go play DotA
bye~~

some gossips

2006-12-07T23:35:00.000+08:00

i'm like so sick today
no appetite
tired n dizzy
but din go home cos i got no $$
haha

anyway
yesterday came across one interesting news:
Prince William may be getting married soon
n he's only older than me by 2 yrs
=.="
its like one anticipated marriage that the whole's been waiting for since Prince Charles and Princess Diana's
n the girl is pretty lo
wad a match!
should get married soon n give birth to some cute babies
(its ok..I'm thinking too far)

next gossip is that today is freebie day at Novena Sq!
Haagen Daz is like giving away free ice creams if u give them ur name cards
u can give as many as u want
so that means u can also get as many freebies as u want lah!
besides that
Starbucks is hosting the Salvation Army donation drive
whereby u receive free beverage if u donate 2 or 5 bucks to Salvation Army
nice right?
but i din take cos I'm freaking sick!
thats just too bad for me

last gossip
super rich ppl owns 50% of the world's fortune and average to poor ppl own less than 10% of the world's fortune
its an inbalance of wealth amonst the world population
maybe rich ppl have to start donatin money to us right?
since they have nothing better to do with their fortune (which we does)

anyway
today had my first bus trip home but I like took the wrong bus..
then ended up taking 2 buses of the same number home..
spent like 1hr30mins for 2 buses(from novena->Kim Keat(bus interchange)->Bedok Reservoir Rd)
tml have to take the same trip back to office to test the trip
n see if I get comfortable with buses or MRT rides
if everyday get to sit n rest a while in bus I really dun mind
I always take bus trips as a form of recharging
cos I can slp in there comfortably lah..
but there are some limitations like protect ur things n ur body lah

alright
late
cya

how long did I not blog?

2006-12-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

these days were pretty fine
went to Taka to have sushis + sausage
n it always leave u with a very full stomach
n total only cost like 4bucks

I also visited Taka's guardian for my slimming+detox pills
n after much searching from different outlets
I finally found it!
n theres a bonus
a gel to improve the speed of slimming down
since i'm getting my pay like next week
I'm so gonna buy to pamper myself
of course an additional CD of BoA's first compilation album (b4 Best of Soul): K-pop selection
so excited!

16th dec is ms jos birthday celebration
n of course i'll be there
but since she say inform her asap
i shall inform her like next thurs
=x
just being cheeky!
I'll try to inform her this weekend lah

christmas is coming
so do dearie's term test
he's taking it next mon-thurs
n if I'm not wrong his week after next or week after next after next is his i-guides camp
unfortunately I'm not allowed to take part
because of my SIP
hope he really have his fun
but on the last day of i-guides he'll be mine!!
=x
shant say so loud or else hemight just play hide-and-seek that day!

I'm already planning for wad I'm gonna wear for CNY
cos clothes hunting is quite tiring
so far i've nv regreted any clothes other than the yr b4 last
even though it's still at my closet
I really dunno wad to do with it
I got this crazy feeling of just walking ard singapore in a very nice dress n heels
like to Sentosa or something?
since the train is operating to Sentosa's beach
then can also go vivocity shop shop hor?
(dearie n I made promises on going there on christmas........if he forgets i'll be really upset, which will be high in possibility!)

SIP's been going well
coding wise n everything is going very well
although I set to finish it next week or week after next
i'm still keeping my fingers crossed
so scared I cant deliver on time
T.T
somemore nid to do presentations to users
n lotsa testing after integration
so scared!
but its overall like FYP
just that it's much more heavier n bigger than fyp
but the process is the same lah
hope i can pull it off

I'm going to just start hunting my clothes while dearie is studying or enjoying life in i-guides
a couple of days off for me?
possibly
but I nid to get to town alone for the hunt..
it's gonna be squeezy cos of x'mas
no x'mas partying for me this yr
*sad*
no NY partying for me this yr
guess i'll be rotting at home
=p

alright
outta things to say liaoz
i like abit kan jiong to buy CNY clothes
I just dun wanna get stained/ripped/spoilt/display clothes that last min shoppers always have
n I dun wanna make rash decision just because I'm running outta time to buy my CNY clothes
either way
I like to plan ahead
muahahahahaha
i'm going to slp............

My Random Thoughts

2006-11-30T22:30:00.000+08:00

there are so many things going on in my head
so deprived
like there's no life for me
n my morale for work is always being pushed down by someone
shan't discuss who that person is

anyway
Christmas is coming
n I bet everyone's been bz buying christmas prezzies for their friends and family
but I guess this yr's christmas will be a dull one
cos I din confirm me and my bf's presence with my auntie for the upcoming christmas party
bummer
but I cant do anything abt it anyway
just hope that I can just do something i've always wanted to do
or not

yesterday went to town with L
wanted to buy so many things for dearie
but din know what to buy
buy a crumpler bag for lappy and A4 books?
or perfume because he's running outta it
or a couple of t-shirts from some brands to pamper him?
totally clueless
then that night he announced that he's very short of cash
cos that stupid Singtel pushed bills to one mth earlier
in the end?
he have to pay 2mths bill this mth
plus the rise of TP sch fees
n his daddy just recovered from surgery
I can say everyone's outta cash to do anything abt such situation
so I insisted that he take half of my pay to turn the tides
n I can just stop shopping for christmas present for him
even though I really like this top from This Fashion (brand:Alano, cost 26bucks)
(its like gone today when I went to check it)

and the OTO Trimax

and some slimming + detox pills
but anyway
that also means that 1st Jan we wun be celebrating too
(cos dec salary is used from 11Dec-10Jan)
but anyway
it kinda help me not to fret over the present thingy

n another happy thing is that now its my turn to be matchmaker
this time is L n T
though they just started to talk to each other but things are going really well
maybe I have nothing better to do
since dearie is going back to work with his term test + i-guides + wadeva on hand
maybe he wun have time for me again
but either way
I've already had this "defeated" thinking
cos he's tight on cash
so theres nothing I can do abt it again
wadeva it is
if I feel lonely or wadsoeva
I wun call him
I'll do my own things
n start to plan for attached but available position
*think too much*
but this time there wun be arguements and quarrels
cos I'm tired of it already
I must be fine (from now on) regardless of his presence

anyway
L has been looking for Little Twin Star sweets
anyone saw it pls sms me
thanks

a total week of wreck

2006-11-28T20:06:00.000+08:00

been a week since i've blogged
must say this week was really different from the last
because i did not stay at home at all for the weekends

fri straight after work i went to tampines swimming complex with dearie and T
so we soaked ourselves in the pool for abt 2 hours
talking at the jacuzzi area
then after that like not tired
so went to Vivocity to catch Happy Feet
man it was really not my type of movie
i almost fainted cos of watching that movie
such show is really not for me
but still managed to finish watching it

so sat after dearie went to his i-guides
we went to Sim Lim sq
he bought a TV-tuner and a 512 RAM
n today he bought another USB mouse for his new toshiba lappy
=.=
rich n clever
new tests score at least 83%
feel so zhi bei now
T.T

sunday was supposed to go my house
but meet T for Expo visit
nothing much to look at
so in the end went home after visiting abt 3 halls
watch Black Hawk Down cos of dearie's assignment
then went to slp for mon's work

nothing much really
weekdays are just boring
except today
meet dearie n T at Mac
they study
I watch Death Note n Bleach
nicey!
but i guess I have to go home now
till then..enjoy urself worz!

Retail Therapy!

2006-11-21T23:33:00.000+08:00

sat went out with Sharon to buy my working clothes n bags
headed to Bugis St for some cheap pants
bought like 3 pair of pants for abt 42bucks
then bought a bag from OG for 32.9bucks
finally bought my FIR new album
man it's worth it lo
$9.90~~from Poh Kim..
2 shirt from Giordano for 23bucks
and last but not least,
a pair of slipper for dearie from Flash&Splash for $39.90
It's a nice pair of slipper
hope he likes it!

went to hunt for BoA's K-pop Selection
only HMV got sell
n it cost $45.90?!
I must be crazy to buy it now
I must say I feel much better after shopping
although I'm more glad to slp??
cos I think I've drained myself badly
n slping doesnt even help
can someone point out my problem?

after that went to meet dearie
for more info go check out another blog of mine
alright
I'm too tired to do anything else right now
till then...

puffy eyes

2006-11-16T20:56:00.000+08:00

today was feeling rather rotten
work-wise I'm not quite productive
n relationship-wise I suck big time too
n I've been asked to handle a part of the IRIN project
the whole process will be by me for implementation
n deadline is before christmas
I certainly hope that I can over deliver
but wait till I can get it done

today's Irene's b'dae
so almost all the staff in IRAS B1 went to sing a b'dae song for her
it was really nice
n had a talk with my supervisors (I had 2, btw)
it was really nice

hopt tml is a better day

Woo-hoo

2006-11-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

my pay came!!
so planning to go shopping with sharon this sat
I'm gonna buy a lot of things?
u bet!

nowadays i've been feeling quite fatigue
I cant seem to concentrate on work especially today
but we went to Toa Payoh for lunch!
its was so damned srowded
even for a wed
u cant stand at a place for long!

so I received the news that I'm really going to HDB Hub on Fri
how exciting!
u dun nid to work
go there for some exhibition
I remember my supervisor saying she wanna go as well
^^

on tues I'm down with MC
cos physically I cant take some symptoms
so went to see a doc
she suspected I got Thyroid
but not confirmed until 2 weeks later the result is out
went for blood test and heart-beat test
all was normal
she say maybe I stress
haha
but I like my life now
work, play, rest, eat
simple?
somehow..

yesterday chatted with Sharon till 2am
we talked about going to Genting during 29 dec-2nd jan
n Kusu island visit
I say I'm full of vengence
nid to cleanse myself
it's getting unbearable
sometimes I'd imagine how people will get hurt by some other things
n it always turn bloody
though it's just an imagination
it freaked me out
cos it happens all the time
just nice this evening I witness an old man's head got "giap" by the rear door and pole of a bus
he looked unbearable
n it looked like the pole n door nearly crashed his head
n his grandchild started crying
it totally freaked me out!
I was dumbfound
just stood there
din know what to do
=.=
luckily everyone informed the driver n the door was closed so that he can take back his head
man
that was terrible

n the rising GST to 7%
to build lifts, help the needy n blah blah
I personally dont feel the need to raise the GST
although they may have 4 good reasons why they raise the GST
but I personally think that these 4 reasons are not good enough
especially to 7%
if they slowly raise it I believe it will be such a big impact on singaporeans
although all people would rather have a 6% than 7%
the best is still dun raise the GST
everything requires GST
its going to be really tiring in the long run as the expenses goes up and the salary stays
n who knows?
before 2010 the GST already reached 10%
7% is too much and too fast

ahhh~
this weekend is shopping spree weekend
before 7% come trashing us
so long nv go out with friends
I hope everything is well n fine for me

payday is a hoax?

2006-11-11T13:38:00.000+08:00

well
my anticipated payday left me with disappointment
no pay yet?
thats a real bummer
i nid that money one lo
n today I went to check
telling myself that maybe the pay will be processed this morning
during noon i went to check
still nothing

my relationship is tiring me
but luckily fri I was quite energetic even though I din slp well
but most of the time I was slacking
cos some database data corrupted or something
but luckily it's saved

work is as usual
but of course learn new things lah
but everyone seems bz
especially my supervisor

no pay means no shopping for me this weekend
I shall ask my supervisor on mon..
*sad*

but sadness aside
we went to United Sq's pet shop(located at level 1)
n saw something sooooooooo cute!!!!

rabbits!
two of them
i've already named them
muahahahaha
behind one called whitey
in front one called brown stripe
cos there a brown line on the back

brown stripe like to pose for pictures lo
when i take out the camera
it straightaway hop to me
somemore know how to look at the camera when it snap!
cute right?

whitey is the lazy one
he's always there
munching on hay or just looking down
like slping
or maybe he's thinking, "Brown Stripe is always posing for pictures and its annoying (=.=)"
^^

this is brown stripe
ears very small, body big big one
proportion is nice right?
their hopping speed is like slow
they're like balls

haa
we also saw 4 shih Tzus
3 of their furs have a combination of brown, white and black(normal one)
1 is like the rarest of the rarest!
brown n black
brown for base
and black on some areas
pretty lo
if i get that shih tzu
i'll surely dye my hair to chestnut brown
suit him mah
haha

enough of this
I'm going pet crazy or something
till then
enjoy urself!

Eve before payday

2006-11-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

today was rather different
initially there're like 4girls(including me) in my team
today?
me n my supervisor
S's not here
so like very quiet today
no ladies chatting
n S's hp ringing tones
I'm doing testing all the while
which I find that I have a sense of accomplishment from that
other than that?
go shopping with L!
muahahahaha
n we went to get our fruit (banana) today
although I picked a really bad one!

maybe in the future
there wun be dearie or wadsoeva word in this blog
anything regarding dearie n me will be posted in lovediary
so here is solely my private world without him (i hope)
any ups and downs or straight lines of relationship will be in lovediary lah

I'm so going to go shopping again at Bugis street
hopefully I can buy about 3 pants and a few t-shirts for work
I'm feeling really pai seh for wearing my sis's clothes neh
cos I forgot how long was it since I really buy a lot of clothes..
should be last yr's sept to oct bah
that time 100bucks bikini oso buy
but now
first of all I nid to slim down
then cut hair and do other enhancement of features
*winkz*
wadeva it is
its late
time to go to bed
wish me luck in clothes hunting!

Phew

2006-11-08T21:32:00.000+08:00

today was really interesting
had meeting with LO and some other supervisors and interns
(n the only dreadful thing is I get to see that bootlicker
he really know how to bootlick lo
extra and annoying)
anyway
after meeting went to do testing n stuff
today's headache not that bad le
maybe cos got something to do bah
I get some kinda addiction when I'm kinda involved with coding
n wanna understand how everything works
its crazy,
but I really dun mind OT for such things

I'm still anticipating fri's pay day
though not a lot
but at least enough for me to buy something nice to reward myself

I din really get to talk to dearie these days
he's like working everyday after work
when I havent finish work
he's going to work le
when I reach home n can finally rest
he's working
when I'm aslp
he just finish work
I barely talk to him
n even if I do have a chance
I dun know what to say
it's like there's too many things to say
n i dunno where to start
in the end?
i ended up saying nothing at all

anyway
I dun really have that energy to be angry or wadsoeva
I'm just tired
he said he work so that he wun feel unproductive
as this may lead to him slacking
n his result may drop
whatever makes him happy
I'm not compaining or wadsoeva
but if something does change inside me
I certainly hope that nobody's regreting anything

nvm
I'm not referring to anything
just talking crap
such a small blog entry............

sick and happy girl

2006-11-07T21:16:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my mummy's b'dae..
day before yesterday granny came
n spent her night here during the weekend
just nice for an early b'dae celebration
so on sun
when I was just resting my mind and soul at home with granny
my parents, granny and me went to have "zhi cha" downstairs..

came to my surprise
the day before we had that dinner my dad won some lottery money..
though not a lot
but it has made him pretty happy

so on sun my dad went to buy some numbers again..
after our dinner
we went home n my dad went to check the teletext
n he struck lottery again?
so my dad promised a really good feast on my mum's actual b'dae

we went to bedok north st 3 for seafood dinner
was really good
we had crayfishes, herbal drunken prawns and fried oysters
plus stingray and mushroom with veggie and some other seafood
quite cheap oso
for about 7 dishes + 6 bowls of rice
about $84++
cheap right?
fresh and juicy seafood!
somemore give us free-of-charge dessert: longan with sea coconut
though I was really tired yesterday
but i managed to keep myself awake for that feast
n we finished all the food!
n it was wonderful

a pity my daddy's b'dae nv go out n celebrate or anything
but mum bought him about 4 pairs of jeans for work..
simple day
but he was really happy that day

anyway
I really gotta go slp le
I'm having severe headache lately
plus not enough slp
haix
if it's not for LO coming tml
I'd surely take MC
but either way
I'll see if i can tahan till weekend
if not must go rest or something..
wish me luck!

ps:
my curse seems to come true!
tat arsehole kinda tio scolding this mon..
oops..
I'm just plain evil to that man..
*winkx*

a big load off my chest

2006-11-02T21:16:00.000+08:00

had presentation today
it wasnt that bad
but I seem to kinda irritated some senior there
I dunno what I'm thinking
I'm irritated by myself too

anyway
the rest are all code tracing days
I just nid some rest
keep dozing off during work
sound like I'm feeling bored..
I'm just tired..
dun want to go work so early
n dun want to go home late
so?
go work early lo

just found a new fone from SE..
Z610i
pretty stuff
camera 2.0MP
external mem can be 1GB (default 64MB)
most of all
they're using that screen for the new Sony Walkman on the phone..
its 3G
there's a pin-hole camera for video conferencing
like u barely see it
it good when it looks like some compact face powder case..
and when the time and calender and calling status lights up
it makes the case more attractive
if I were to get one
I'll sure paste protective stickers then put decorations on it
some flowers around the OLED or sometihng
to make it look so much better and sophisticated..
it's slightly shorter than Motorola K1
but it looks thick to me..
when I saw it during lunch break I'm like so drawn to it
n I personally went to the SE booth on Century Sq lvl 1 just to get the brochure
too overwhelmed!
just like what k1 did to me
too bad..
Singapore has only Rose and Black..
y no blue?!
I'll surely buy blue
was thinking of buying one for myself..
n W810i for dearie (he loves it)
daydreaming already
haiz

alright
enough of my excitement
pretty phone eh?
quite cheap oso..
dunno y..
but hopefully the functions are good and lasting like my S700i.....................

Stressed day

2006-11-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

today is my 1st yr with dearie
it was a really nice evening
wanna know more?
go check out the love diary

anyway
today Simon and I were supposed to present what we know to a new colleague
stress the hell outta us?
we keep studying so as not to give false info to that new lady
scary
but u know what?
it was postponed to today (02/11/06)
T.T
cos that lady have to go attend to something neccessary

alright
all was well and running
may god bless me everyday
n curse that asshole to misfortune
suddenly I felt hatred for that man
everytime I see him
I feel like throwing my heels on him
or irritate him to the core
I cant contain that hatred
its too much to bear
I hope I can let go of it soon
hatred is something bad for mental&physical health

tml got something on
my sup just sms me!
omg..
ok..
gtg slp
if not tml talk like mice

Excited

2006-10-30T23:32:00.000+08:00

woohoo
1st yr coming soon
soon the new blog will have its own first entry
anyway
I'm tired..
knocked out

finally there are more things for me to do
I spent the whole day trying to figure out what their application is all about
caught a glimpse of what is going on
to think that I'm going to code something to it?
it just scares me

alright
very tired
slping liaoz

weekend~~!

2006-10-28T16:43:00.000+08:00

ahhh
weekend is here!
nothing much at work
just study how the organization and project works
most probably we'll be coding
yeah
n its due on Dec..
T.T

when I was researching on what is the whole project is all about from Google
I saw this blog in the search engine..
freaked me out!
I thought I chose not to publicize the blog?

anyway
had facial with dearie at home
our faces became quite smooth!
haha
dearie was surprised though
cos he nv do facial b4
n we watched Click while doing the facial
^^

not too bad for a week
I started to smile more
maybe cos I keep going to work
n I guess I like what is going now

1st yr anniversary is coming soon!
gotta go buy some present
quite looking forward to that day
although I know i'll be super tired..
cos everytime after work always very tired one
dunno y

just found this video from youtube..
its my favourite dog breed
the Welsh Corgi..
enjoy this sweet little stuff

shopping spree!!!

2006-10-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

i'm back from my shopping
dearie din have time for me cos his double pay work schedule got extended
12pm-10pm
a whole 10hours
dunno whether he got eat or not
but i din eat for more than 12hours now
n i dun feel hungry at all!

at one point I almost vomited
then that ABNN (ah bu ne ne) still lift his arm
n lemmi smell his armpit
almost thought of vomiting in front of him
then say, "sorry, but it was really unbearable."
hehe
though I wanted to vomit is not because of him lah
its just that he makes thing worse
but i still managed to conquer that vomiting part
which is phew for me

through out the 7 hours
I've been approached by insurers
one from prudential(tampines)
the other one from OCBC (bugis)if i'm not wrong
talk about the same thing
which I've already discussed with ruo wen
but it was enjoyable
cos I'm like completely stop talking for 7 hours
'cept for a couple of phone calls and I went to visit Sharon at her workplace

bought a skirt from ALANO

a cardigan from Double Index

and a L'oreal True Match Concealer from Guardian
but I want to buy the blouse that I bought for ZZ from Forever21
but a cheaper version of course
that one is way too expensive!
maybe in the near future buy white pants
saw some clothes that is for office but also show some shoulderblade top
and some pretty dresses
but not sure if i wanna buy
so left it in the shelves
hoping that I may get a chance to buy them
cos I dun really nid them

I'm done
been tiring my feet these days
tml oso
T.T

first day of SIP

2006-10-24T08:32:00.000+08:00

wahhhh~
1st day of SIP
rot like hell lo!
read this and that
then nothing else
I'm practically playing sudoku all the time
T.T
cos my supervisor wasnt in the office
the whole IRAS people got a lot nv come to work
cos on leave
nice ar
if I were them I oso on leave
can rest for like 3-4 long days
starting from sat
but the environment was really good
got gym somemore!
but not for temp T.T
then they oso have fruit distribution on every thurs
optional for staff though
not bad for a person like me cos I dont eat fruits
n best of all
I dont have to work with him
(for those who do not know who that person is, please read my mp entry on aug-sept)
but i found out that Lindy got B for fyp
maybe cos my 10% quiz pulled me down
cos out of 10% i only got 1% correct
anyway
I'm working in B1
so my access to the shopping centre is pretty much near
but the dresscode is a killer man
really have to wear formal to work
though they're pretty much flexible
but I'm still gonna but skirts that touch my knee (cos its quite cold there
and pencil skirts are killing me)
or dresses that touch my knee

when we were having lunch
a channelnewsasia reporter approached Cindy
and ask her if she will blog about her work
I was like -.-"
had LJS for lunch
then went to cold storage for some shopping for tidbits
and I finished it within 3 hours
which I really try my best not to finish them
but I still did
were rather counting sheeps, cows and time
read the documents
finally 6 was up
and can go home
saw ZN at MRT Cityhall
he's being attached to Microsoft
when u hear Microsoft
u'll be like "fwah"
but sadly, they dun pay a penny
so as I've said
majority of the attachment: less money, more experience; more money less experience
of course, it doesnt apply to all
but most of it~
oh ya
did i tell u that fri is a dress-down day and work ends early?
not as early as u thought it would be
30mins early for every fri
paying us 450bucks on 8hrs 30mins
so 1 month got 4 fris
and there are 3.5months
14days got 30min early
that means we have 7 hours of work nothing and get paid hours
hehe
i'm just so calculative

^^
well
later going to shop
maybe go bugis to shop
cos no money
i wonder if there's any place I can get cheap and good clothes..
anyway
gtg
byez~

numbered days before attachment

2006-10-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

thurs went to school for pre-SIP departure
then talk about somethings like what to wear and blah blah
went to meet my LO
and left

din know why I wear sports wear that day
even though I know that NAPFA is cancelled like more than 2hours ago
but that feeling was great
so long nv wear sportshoe le
like can fly or something
think I'm gonna buy myself a sportshoe and see what i can do to my trainer shoe
cos nv really get to use it
saw kelvin and joey and a whole lot of people
just dun get why private companies pay more than gov
gov more rich right?
>.<
maybe u get more pay but the work experience is not what u want
thats just self-consoling
but whatever it is
the fact is i get lesser pay
and worse still
I'm sharing the same LO with that guy who kinda ruined my fyp
it's rather depressing
I just hope that I have nothing more to do with that guy
I certainly hope that he feels this way too

I was just wondering when can I get a degree for design
HX finally get to enter a uni in pursue of a degree of psychology
n I started asking myself
when is J (another friend of mine who're interested in psychology) gets to be like her?
and when can I get a degree of design?
though it seems like 3-4 years before I want to start my own family
but 3-4 years are just plain short for me
like there are so many things to do in life and there are not enough time to do
and when I start to plan
everything could be solved by money
and with lotza money I can ust pay my tution loan
and the course fee for design
and so many money issues to take care of
its really traumatizing

sometimes I asked myself
what am I going to do when I graduate?
I'd really like to be a personal shopper
like shopping all the time
but not for myself, for my clients
and of course fashion knowledge and discount cards must be there
as well as knowing the managers or something so that I can get better discount
so many things to do
and I'm pretty much in touch with the world I live
not by creating it
but by improvising it
and to travel around the world just to find the perfect clothes
is something I would love to do
but still
I'm a talk-but-no-action person
unless I can find an agency doing such things
and be part of it
if not
i'm still wasting my time
talking about dreams

I remember trump once said,
"a person need passion for something in life
and that passion will generate energy
with that energy that person will be able to do great things
if a person is without passion
he/she will not have energy to do anything
and hence it is thedownfall of that person."
not word-by-word
but roughly there lah
it is true
with dreams, there is no passion
although sometimes dreams may not be fulfilled
but ur life is lived with lotza energy to change and create things
and thats all matters..

anyway
back to daily routine
enough of dreams and passion
yesterday went to vivocity with dearie
man it's huge
although the grand opening is about a month away
there are lotza ppl there
shopping and enjoying the nice architecture and breeze
it's really a nice environment
though we got lost a couple of times
went there to buy my cousin's 21st b'dae present
in the end bought a really expensive top from forever21
looks nice and like can last quite a long time
but i still fear that my aunts and parents went nagging at me for buying such an expensive top
it's afterall my parents' money

anyway
we went to Sushi Tei for dinner
the food are superb!
had to say their quality for japanese food is still the greatest I've ever tasted
man
dearie and I was completely indulged into that environment and that kinda food
so after that we went to the "sky garden"
they allow people to take off their shoes and walk around the shallow water
at that time dearie wanted to smoke
and I challenged him to dip his feet into that shallow pool of water
n he accepted it!
then he kinda look like farmer in the wet crop field
so funny

dearie and i promised each other that we will be visiting vivocity on christmas day
cos by that time everything is up
and till then we'll be really shopping for ourselves when we go there again
of course
also to visit the pet safari there
which most probably will be opened on christmas day
surely got lotza beautiful animals!
*I miss my chika and pika...

then we wanted to watch some movies from GV
then thought that watching midnight movie there will cost a bomb when we go home
and decided to buy ticket from AXS machine at Tampines GV
watched The Prestige and DOA: Dead or Alive
Prestige was a little boring
but it's a little suspense
when the truth revealed
u suddenly got the energy to finish watching
maybe in the beginning it was boring cos too many suspense
and the whole thing is about winning each other
but still
the ending is simple and convincing

DOA:Dead or Alive
action-packed movie
ermz..action is funny and good
story is so-so
though most of the time they're flying here and there
good if u only want to watch babes and hunks and action
something like tokyo drift
'cept that their action is different

am looking forward to Sinking of Japan and World Trade Center
maybe next month then watch
^^
so scared of attachment
soon going to go to zz's chalet
hope she like the present

the house warming + ex-colleagues gathering + everyone's b'dae celebration

2006-10-18T23:49:00.000+08:00

on the 14th
went to Huiling & Eric's house
living room is big
and it is nicely decorated
watched tv
then Denise went to get a cake
saying that we're celebrating everyone's (who are present) b'dae
-.-"
then we started singing the "Happy Birthday to Me" song
was really fun

then we had luffs and talks
then went to the master bedroom to watch the couple's ROM pictures
was really sweet n stuff
and ms zz was like, "so sweet!!!"
but I felt kinda freaked out
cos I was like thinking..
am I going to be lidat?
getting married and buying a house
have a family and blah blah blah
no!
I'm like so scared of marriage now
cos its no bed of roses
things to take care of and other stuff
scary stuff
n if I'm not going to get married
am I going to be called old virgin (lao chu nu) or something?
I dont want that either!
still
marriage is like a bomb to me
even though I have about 3 years before I wanna get married
but the idea freaks me out
n I'm not sure if I'm going to get used to another life without my mum
:P

then after that
went home
shared a cab with Simon and ZZ
n got stopped by police
n it was 3am
they just take down our i/c
and other cars dont nid to stop!!
wth
it was real stupid lo
like the taxpayers pay them to take down i/c
>.<

after that day
i nv go out
neither did i meet up with dearie
it was me and me
spending time alone on cross-stitch and taking self-obsessed photos
no life?
u bet
n I've already kinda mix and matched the clothes i'm going to wear on my first day of work
sounds scary?
its just because I have nothing better to do
and I'm not really looking forward to tomolo - SIP briefing
and really looking forward to fri - vivocity day!
whatever it is
NAPFA is cancelled!!!
cos of the haze and ta-da-da-da-da
briefing is still going on
but its one good news right?
no nid to run/jump/stretch/pull till u drop
I dun wanna score a bronze
I just wanna be present and help myself get the certificate when I graduate
thats the purpose

i'm half-dead now
cos I din slp for more than 24hours
dozing off.....

Friday The 13th

2006-10-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

yesterday (13/10/06) was Joey's 21st b'dae
dearie and I painted a polo t-shirt for her
a cow with a crown on its head
hope she likes it
dearie bought me a small pillow for me to hug
^^

12/10/06 and 11/10/06 was staying at home rotting
with no SCV or Internet access
I couldnt blog and I couldnt do anything
>.<

10/10/06
was spending my b'dae
thanks to
Zhizhen,
Huixian,
Joey,
Meizhen,
Xiaoyi,
Hweeling,
Desmond,
Christine*2 (cos she smsed me twice),
Jane,
Harvee,
Xiaogu,
Edward,
Richard kor
& Meimei
for their b'dae greetings
sorry cant really sms out
but seriously I tot noone remembers
anyway
dearie and I went to OrganiCafeXperience for dinner
was nice
but portion was little
but luckily mom cook some mien xian for dearie and me b4 we went out
had some flat stomach tea
fish and salad and spaghetti
all was really nice!
these food were shared between dearie and me
it felt like fine dining
then after that rent a couple of dvd and went to dearie's house and watch
since dearie is working on the 11th

09/10/06
went to Cafe Cartel for dinner
I woke up late
so everything starts from there
anyway
had some super full dinner
but still has time for desserts
but ordered the wrong one
cos it's too chocolatey
T.T
also rented some dvds to watch

for the rest of the days
I forgot what I did
anyway
just checked the eSIP
>.<
been posted to IRAS
for IRIN project
gonna do some unit and system and white box testing
and its at Novena
pay is 450bucks
100bucks off for transportation
and left 350bucks for whatever
better than nothing?
yeah

alright
I'm deep into trauma again
I'm gonna work hard
though IRAS may not wanna employ me when I graduate
but whatever
wish me luck
*sorrow fills my eyes*

rotting days

2006-10-06T12:27:00.000+08:00

well
as far as I can predict
we din go to suntec the other day
but Ruo Wen gave a pretty much good explanation on financial planning
and I realised that I'm only prepared for death
critical illnesses or disability will defeat me and my family if I dont plan my financial well
well
thats how I feel
and the scenario I place myself to be is the lightest sentence for myself

oh ya
back to the Suntec thingy
we din go suntec
n when he said that we're not going
I was kinda smiling
like "I knew it"
at least I din kick a big fuss outta that
"u said u wanna go and in the end u said u dun wanna go"
"like everything u decide one mah..I say wad?!"
thats just something I tot of
if I din put myself in the mood whereby I knew I wun be going there

yesterday became my tv day
watched some really nice shows
n then this stupid baby cockroach come ka jiao me
in a fit of anger
i killed it with the remote control I had on hand
fwah..
1st time kill cockroach by hand
not by bygon or wadsoeva
angry?
hmmzz..

so yesterday and today are rotting days
actually wanted to go Carrefour during dearie's break so tat we can buy salmon or something
budden when I was slping
dearie smsed me saying that I dun go
say things like he's gonna plan the chalet for his manager and may not have time for me
then ask me to fetch him off work so that I can pass him the mooncake from my mum as a "return gift" for his mom
(his mom bought some really nice mooncakes for us
there's green tea, red bean, yam, white lotus, n durian)
then I smsed him back saying 'see how things goes'
cos at this pt
I'm feeling abit sian liaoz
nono
should I say I'm feeling really sian
sian dao bu xin le!!

but anyway
I cant just leave u all feeling sian with me right
so I shall present some video dearie and I found

grandpa's 80th b'dae and the going out days

2006-10-04T13:09:00.000+08:00

din get to take pictures of gradnpa's b'dae
rachel was the camera woman
and the camera belongs to my auntie
=.=
nice dinner
with all the not-so-distant relative
and immediate family to go and celebrate the joyous occassion
mei zhong bu zhu bah
cos some thing happened

not the joyous occassion of course
just some things between dearie and me
yeah
about the chalet thingy
which got me really hurt and sad
like I really dont feel like seeing him anymore
it was really bad
hurt by someone who is the last thing u thought u'll be hurt by him
that feeling sucks

but after that
dearie kinda "pei zui" by letting me paint his erm...nails..
I wasnt feeling that great about painting his nails
cos at that time I just wanna have my own time
doing my own things
and ignore him at my house
but eventually
it did lighten my mood abit
and he promised me to pei me for 2days

monday we went to get money
cos dearie is over 21 years of age
so his account kena terminated cos they monthly deduct 2bucks from his account
then no money to deduct le then they close themselves
without informing the owner of the account
xian zhan hou zou
n dearie sent his cheque to that account
=.=

so we went to Sakae sushi
and had buffet
man we were full
then I last min request dearie to bring me to pet safari
^^
soooo nice there!
din get to see the rodent
but we saw fishes and dogs
why rodent arent there ar?
brought to somewhere else?
*scratch head*
dogs in the pet safari:

my favourite kinda dog, Welsh Corgi!

after that went to dearie's house and finished watching the Ragnarok The Animation
we went to search the meaning of Ragnarok
it says that it is the doom day for human, gods and demons
everything will battle against each other
and die
no matter how they avoid their predictions
they'll still die as they predicted
so Ragnarok The Animation isnt the nicest ending I expected
but it's still the 2nd best

mon din get to slp
cos we were constructing one of my jeans to a bag
but most of the work is dearie do one
not that steady as it is hand sew
so I was thinking if I can get a machine and start to machine sew that bag
so when we decided to slp
we decided to wait for the bank to open
then go watch movie
then have Suki Sushi

dearie had settled his cheque and bank account problem
then we went to watch movie at Century Square
Rob-B-Hood
man
that kid is cute lo!
most of the time he's smiling
and the funny thing like sucking Jacky Chan's nipple
and some stupid things between men
3.5/5
but dearie was like slping cos I guess he's tired
then we had Suki Sushi for lunch (or should I say Nihon Mura)
that show started at 10.30 and ended at 12.30
just nice right?
we din touch the sushis at all
cos we had it the previous day
so we had stuff like lobster and oysters and raw scallops and raw salmon
we also had bacon with other stuff
everything was satisfying
until the dessert came
><
not nice
its called mango classic
but the mango is sour
and the syrup was like too much
not nice
but still
food is 4/5 except dessert
but it din really make me have to eagerness of going back again immediately like wad Crystal Jade did
but lobster is really nice
for 22bucks..

haa
then after lunch went to dearie home
I slpt immediately I saw bed
till like 12mn
eat "dinner"
watch a bit of tv and funny videos from killsometime.com
then went to slp again

anyway
enjoyable 2days
and dearie asked me if I wanna go shopping at Suntec today
we'll c how
cos his friend, RuoWen is coming to his house regarding some insurance or something
I guess the only thing I do now is not to have too much hope on everything
then maybe my life is easier and not so hard on myself
so the issue on going to Suntec
I'm keeping my fingers crossed..

what a twist of fate

2006-09-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday
was cleaning my room
dug out all rubbish posters of SPEED
and some unwanted magazines that I nv touch them after finish reading them
and throw it away

my art materials
the fabric paints, glass paints and mask paintings
i put them into a container
CDs and books are all in bigger containers
papers and books and files are in boxes on top of my wardrobe
I still cant bear to throw those teddy bears away
though they're just collecting dust mites (I nv hug them at all)
taekwondo stuff..
the guards dunno wanna throw anot
cos they cost a bomb
and I nv get to wear them at all
can I sell them?
I certainly hope so

and u know what?
I pack till 9am then go slp
mom was handling the kitchen
the cockroaches' graveyard
cos lotza cockroaches die there
young and old
big and small
mum clean them all
n when I woke up at about 1pm
living room + kitchen + master bedroom were all cleaned
just nid to vacuum and mop the floor (sis and my task)
everything was cleaned before 3pm
and I slpt till like 5-6pm

went to Suki Sushi at Tampines Swimming Complex
and had a great japanese feast
oysters, salmon and sushis
eat till u drop
thats wad I did
saw my granduncle and grandauntie-in-law
and auntie from China
they werent used to japanese food
so they din eat alot

ambience is really nice
plates are all 99cents
and there are stuff like lobsters and prawns
but they're all like extra charges
n they have milk shakes and juices for drinks
~.~

below are the pictures taken from the outside of the restaurant
prices are better than Sushi Tei
(cos variety are about the same quantity)
variety are better than Sake Sushi
(cos they mainly focus on seafood and side orders, not on plates)

still
I had a full stomach when I got out of the restaurant
but i'll surely go back!!

anyway
after that went to central's NTUC for some shopping for our distant relatives to take home
damn this trolley pusher by the name of Ang Boon Kiat
he hit my uncle's feet twice
and give that damned fucking face
like telling us when we're going to stop blocking his path
and he's like mute?!
cos he din say excuse me
and never say sorry when the trollies he's pushing hit my uncle
n he still give us that damned fucking face
which i certainly wish that i can give him two tight slap to wake him up
so proud dun work at NTUC lah!
like he's prince ar?
prince dun work in NTUC leh!
hope he got hit by anything (hopefully boboli - cement trunk that dearie's cousin, Benny, always call it) that will make him remember what he did to my uncle
I believe in karma!!!
tml must go hit small-man ("da xiao ren")
write his name on it
my sis was so angry that made her wanna call ah-yang's sis to write a big fat complaint letter
looks like the GEMS program is not working!

wah-kaoz
actually today very nice one leh
let him lidat kao-jiao
all like no mood
but we went shopping
bought some things
then we walk home
T.T
from home, we walked to suki sushi
then after dinner
we walked from suki sushi to central
then after NTUC trip
we walked home from central
lotza walking today!
like no mood to walk
Clarissa was like going to slp le
then Aloysious got drawing lesson tml

then in the end
cos it's kinda late
my distant relative nv come to our house
n I stayed overnight to clean it..
T.T
twisting my mood lidat
maybe they're coming tml
*~*
I nid my slp

anyway
big blog today oso
hope u enjoy
byez~

the celebration of marriage

2006-09-28T18:41:00.000+08:00

yesterday went for dearie's sista's ROM day
we were late unfortunately
due to some reasons
but that reason is definitely not from me

anyway
everyone were excited for that event
dearie's dad wanted to wear shirt with tie and blazer..
was looking really serious and stuff
we were shocked by the clothes he wore
and dearie immediately show it to his mum so as to ask him to change into something less formal
everyone was laughing
Dearie and I also took some pictures before going to the place

we reached that place
and the first thing was the signing of the marriage certificate
it was serious and happy
and u know wad?
it's dearie's brother-in-law's father b'dae as well
so after the serious event
we sang a b'dae song for the groom's daddy
n he(groom's daddy) went back to hospital cos he's sick..
but still
it was sweet as it's a b'dae celebration plus the ROM thingy
then we stayed there for like one and a half hours
dearie's been assigned to take pictures and all
so I kinda tag with him to take pictures
I was also introduced to dearie's mother side of the family
cos most of the time is hanging out with his father side
nervous
n took quite a lot of pictures
some of them I took one
which was not nicely taken
I'mma bad photographer
cos most of the time I only know how to use my camera to take pictures
digital camera?
hmmzz.. =.=

before this grand event dearie and I went to Seoul Garden Tampines for lunch
din eat a lot
dearie's keeps cooking
and I'm feeding him and myself
like some korean show where woman feed the man
though we din eat their cooked food
just get the meat and start bbq-ing on the pan

here's some pictures from the event:

Bride & Groom

bride&groom and their parents + judge

dearie's father side of the family

dearie's mother side of the family

"Quan Jia Fu"

day before yesterday
I went to buy some nail polish and nail art thingy to decorate my nails
spent like 7bucks on one nail polish, one coating and one nail art stickers pack
=.=
then bu she de go watch movie
so shopped ard
then went to bra shop
this sales woman (called her sales woman and not sales girl cos she's obviously older than me) approached me..
then like look at me like I'm some kinda monster
is it wrong to wear casual out?
>.<

it's kinda fading cos my "kung-fu" (the skill of nail painting) not up to standard (direct chinese translation)
but I like this whole thing
except that it looks a little like pink (supposed to be maroon)
maybe cos of the flowers making the maroon like pink
(color changes when u add something of other color and makes the original color looks like different color mixed with the added color)
gonna buy another color that wun look like pink~~
^^

before I head home today
cos my china relatives are coming to my house like tml
T.T
have to clean up!!!!!!
man
took dunno how many hours
n it's still cluttered
anyway
dearie wore his army uniform lemmi c
he said he wanted to wear it n lemmi c
but nv got the chance
anyway
he wore 2 types
one for the BMT one
the other for NAVY one
but I'm only allowed to post one pic in this entry
so here goes:

alright
gtg
do cleaning!!!!!!!
byez!

I wanna watch!

2006-09-26T09:23:00.000+08:00

wo-hoo!
am checking out Golden Village now
been thinking what I wanna do today
maybe I'll just go out alone so as to appease my inner lava

I wanted to cancel the seoul garden thingy cos
1. Dearie have to go Tony Roma's early to celebrate his manager's b'dae n his work ends ard 10pm
2. He spent most of his money on the lunch gathering yesterday with his Tony Roma's colleagues
3. If he did tell me earlier, I could've just save the money from hp bill and go eat with him
4. I couldn't say anything about it (what more can I say? I cant force him to have lunch with me, can I?), though it's upsetting me
what's done is done
it's not the first time
cos he always have good reasons
n I dont expect it to be the last

I've always wanted to watch The Devil Wears Prada
abit slow
but they're still showing!

but anyway
found 3 shows I wanted to watch
1. John tucker Must Die
2. The Devil Wears Prada
3. Monster House
and then when I was getting to the "Coming Soon" page
guess what I saw?
Death Note!
Death Note the movie?!
n I din see the animes?!
they already have movie?
no joke siah~
but I watched the trailer
the shinigami looks.... =.="
yeah~
exactly like the manga, I guess
but the trailer doesnt really make me wanna watch that show
cos the whole storyline looks as if that uni student who obtained the Death Note became some police target cos he written some people's names from the politics and criminals into the Death Note
and someone is there to stop him..
=.=
yeah..

but anyway
Death Note anime is showing on 2006 October 03 in Japan..
hopefully I can download the anime and watch using Bit Torrent?
even though I think it's already licensed before it's first showdown..
T.T
I wanna watch~~~~

I think watching movie is not my main priority for today
unless I have enough money
then I go watch movie..
even though lunch and dinner will be at home

but this situation is making me feeling dreadful about tml's event
n the event is like late morning early noon
what am I going to do when I see him?
pull a long face?
in his sista's ROM day?
or smile smile for that event then go home
I guess going out is out of the question for tml too
maybe I'll just go home straight from the event
he can go home n rest if he wants
not looking forward to going out at all, cos I know it wun happen
or rather, I dont have the mood to go out tml at all

nvm
think too much
I just thought of an anime I really wanted to watch
Ragnarok The Animation
^^
used to be my fav game - Ragnarok Online
now have animation like long ago
but nv get to watch
hopefully can ask Dearie download and watch together..
women~~u may think..
I'm pissed, but I still love him

saw Motorola's MOTOKRZR K1m's commercial yesterday

man
it's pretty!
sooooo pretty!
cant resist the design
"touch screen" on the cover
cos of the glass
but inside the phone, screen is not touch screen
but if comparing CyberShot phone with MOTOKRZR K1m
I dunno which one to choose!!!!!!!
both are good!!!
*winkz*
put together and u have:

(Not to Scale)

anyway
gtg..
bye~

Man..how I miss my old self......

2006-09-25T17:50:00.000+08:00

I was reading my previous blog entries
I felt like I was so alive..
is it because I'm tired of life now?
or its just that I din know how to spice up my life like b4?
din know
suddenly feel that the hyperactive me has just disappeared
n I desperately wanna go back to where I was

I love being hyperactive!
I love exploring things
walking aimlessly in a mall
catching new stuff outside
looking at the latest trends
dressing up
it's so nice to be outside
but why am I at home now?

I guess window shopping alone is something you can do once in a while
watching movie oso
I've shopped and watched movies alone too many times during the past year
it seems like
no $ = no life
when I get my SIP I'll be slogging my heads off and earn more money
just hope that the company that I'm working is around the Tampines central area
muahahahaha
*daydreaming*

I was watching SCV and one of the shows show two celebrities who divorced their husband
one of the husband was just slogging his head off for his wife
n that requires him to work at china
for 7 years they never really communicate
because this husband's perspective of happiness is to provide money for his wife&family(no kids one)
why do most men have such a perspective?!
no $ is the greatest sin in life
but what women want is romantic
I'm not saying everyday-romantic
I'm talking about once-in-a-blue-moon romantic
anniversaries, birthdays, family gatherings,
or even some cute stuff like together-for-a-1000-days celebration
n sometimes
when men give too much in the beginning
(shower gifts, flowers, blahblah)
then after a long period of being in the relationship
men tend to slack cos they thought you knew how much they love you
and those showering-of-gifts actions slowly disappear
in the end?
women became the affection monsters
demanding some tactfulness and affection and care and concern
n that pushed men away~
problem:why cant guys just show what they can be in long term, instead of showing some short term affection that made women have the habit of accepting them in the long term?
a friend's friend of mine
bf treat her say so-so..
normal guy:play DotA blahblah
but she din complain
cos, he's been like that since the beginning of the relationship
she's used to it
if a guy treats u super good in the beginning of the relationship
then the affection gradually slipped with time
do u yearn for the beginning-of-the-relationship times?
i'm not comparing the then and now
i'm just stating that its a habit that men set in the beginning of the relationship
they cant blame women for being too sticky or wadsoeva
because they ask for it
some women can live with it
others?
leave that freaking mizuderstood relationship = me!

I've always heard of my gfs asking me why men were nice n they find it a nuisance when they asked him to be what he was
point is: some guys grow to understand this mizunderstood part = mature men
while others?
they continue to live in agony thinking why the hell all women are the same
and hence do something that they dont like
mature men have 2 diff approach
one is slack affection at the beginning
other is maintain the affection they set at the beginning
well, diff approach appeals to diff women
perhaps such approaches doesnt help at all

we cancelled the seoul garden trip for tml
sad~
whatever~
still
I still dislike who I am
who I am when I'm attached
who I am when I'm vulnerable
>.<
forget it
I'm just killing time blogging
ciaoz~

Slacking all da way to SIP

2006-09-25T06:32:00.000+08:00

man
people must be feeling envious about me slacking when they have to work
well
most of them
I believe most people are feeling depressed for some reasons
and to the fact that some blogs I've read poses some sadness
me?
taking it as it is I guess

been watching Ouran High School Host Club for these 2 days
n got stuck cos its not really completed..
cant seem to find episode 26 from YouTube
damned funny
but I just wanna know if the King of Host declare his love for that "natural" host
thats all
cos all things becomes complicated
and ep 25 was posted yesterday~~

Dearie has been a little sick these days
all because of the chocolates he bought from Candy Empire + BBQ food + eating other not-good-for-health food
he's having sore throat
and his skin infection is still there..
T.T
worse of all?
he's working from 10am till 9pm/10pm later
I wonder if he's gonna just stop work for awhile and rest
if I request?
but his schedule for this and next week seems full
his next week is all working days except my b'dae
but even though he's bz
he said tml we're going to Seoul Garden as promised
and my b'dae may be visiting Night Safari
though Alvi may not be there cos he's out for OSIP
but either way
I'm anticipating it!

Dearie's sista is signing the marriage certificate in 2days time
I was just wondering if it is ok to wear a black dress there
I certainly hope the event takes place at noon
so that dearie and I can get some neo-card (or lovegetty cards) on that day
rare to see him wear something nice..
^^

later going to pay bills
my hp bill has reached its new low
20bucks a month?!
and my basic bill amt is 29bucks (without exceeding any talktime or sms)
maybe cos of the cut-line period
thinking of whether I should just leave my precious bronze handbag as it is or get it fixed
(button fabric was torn, hence the button is falling off)
besides that
I think I'm going to redraw the whole FreeHand Drawing work since I give up contacting Shervon
it's been more than a yr since I pester her about my work
T.T
tough job
but no choice?
nid a small portfolio at least

well
anyway
thats all for this entry
stay tune if u want
bye~

post-chalet

2006-09-23T11:48:00.000+08:00

hey
back from chalet
we spent lotsa money
and most of them are not from me
=.=
feeling bad right now

anyway
bought a nice necklace for HX
the pendant is a key
hope she likes it!
hmmzz..
what am I going to buy for other friends of mine?
Jasmine's present is a killer
but I hope can pay Julia the money in time..

alright
enough of presents
lets talk about chalet
I dunno what is wrong with me
I keep having bad mood
so first day dearie and I went to the chalet with part of the neccessary things at about 6pm
we arrived and were hungry
cos most of us barely eat for the day(that includes HX, Jos, Dearie and me)
then we asked MZ if she wanna come down and have dinner with us
but she says she wanna watch finish the drama before coming down
n plus she has to pack bags and blah blah
she arrived at about 9pm
before dinner we stuff our stomach with cheezels and some thai's green tea snacks
at about 8.30pm
we cannot tahan
then we eat KFC
during the dinner MZ reached
and that time we already finished eating
so poor MZ (who was sick at that time) say she doesnt wanna eat
maybe paiseh lah
but anyway
we headed to Ben&Jerry for some ice cream!
dearie bought a tub of ice cream of Berry sorbet
and a cone of Cherry Garcia
^^
nice!
then we went to play arcade for a while
until it was kinda late
so we went back to the chalet
after which we watched Project Runway - Road to Runway
and the "Liao Zai"
we like keep watching tv
and play "dai di" (loser have to drink green tea mix with red label)
play until 1-2am
then watch tv
some of them prepare for bed
then at 3am HW came
we went to Macdonald's for some super late supper
talk talk, watch tv, smoke smoke,eat eat
then he(HW) went home at 5am
=.="
and we slpt after he left

when we woke up
dearie and I have to go to his house to get the rest of the stuff we forgot to bring the previous day
watched Bleach and continue our half-watched Descent
slack a while
then go back to the chalet
when we reached
we get changed for WWW
unfortunately only Dearie and I went for that
cos others have their reasons lah
but anyway
I guess we only visited the kiddy section and the tsunami and jacuzzi section
cos I was sooo afraid of water!
spoiler I know
Dearie like keep wanting me to challenge the water
but i get panick attacks even at shallow grounds
n I was screaming when I'm on the verge of hitting the water
n I din know I'm that afraid of water
we went back to the chalet after WWW
then start to bathe and prepare for the food
man
stingray's nice!
as well as chicken, taiwan sausages, bee hoon, curry, mashmellows and crabmeat
others?
like hotdog and chicken wing never got to eat?
but overall
I still love the stingray
I think I'm gonna ask dearie to make a nice one for me
cos he was the BBQ chef of the day
I also got to watch the Thailand's journey photos
interesting, but maybe I would be happier if I go to HK, Genting, Korea, Japan or something
so Bangkok, drop
KL also drop..
but anyway
dearie brought the alchoholic watermelon out
he poured Barcadi into the watermelon
and cut it after a day
the Barcadi is strong
hence making the watermelon bitter
then our ms Joy shouted something upon eating those watermelons
"dont eat, watermelon is poisoned!" (direct translation from chinese)
people who knew that the watermelon is filled with Barcadi started to laugh
=.=
anyway
we cut the cake
n blah blah
we had two cakes btw
one is the chocolate one (too chocolatey)
another one is cheese cake (too cheesy)
eat more and u'll suffer
cos its really too chocolatey and cheesy!
at abt 4am we went home
HW came to the chalet specially just to bring us home with all the leftovers and some other big containers
thats nice of him

I've been eyeing on this cyber-shot phone
dunno why starhub nv display them on the internet
I hope I can buy them thru upgrading of plan
after next year's CNY
^^

anyway
thats all I wanna blog
take care folks
ciaoz~

I'mma little excited

2006-09-20T16:23:00.000+08:00

yeah!
yesterday went to sheng siong for chalet stuff
help HX with a little things
n later will be going to her chalet

tml we're going to WWW!
well
gtg pack and dress le
take care~
I'll be enjoying myself
^^

just a little confession~

2006-09-19T04:21:00.000+08:00

hey
been reading covers of magazines
saw this sentence from Women's weekly mag:
"my mother-in-law burn my face with bleach."
(if I'm not wrong with this sentence..but heck, you get the whole sentence right?)
I was shocked!
which mother-in-law would do such a thing?
basically
this victim went to sue her mother-in-law
and got a sum of $105, 000
which is good and bad
good is that she's got a compensation
bad is for the husnabd/son
this is the worse caught-in-the-middle situation I could've imagined
with mother unlikely to forgive her daughter-in-law for sueing her
I believe her wife is more than happy to cast her mother-in-law out of her memory
so what can the husband/son do?
nothing
nothing at all
cos if he side his mother (who did the wrong thing)
he could've lost his wife
but if he sides his wife for getting her justice done (maybe the money comes from him)
it would've considered unfilial
and tongues will wag
conclusion: do nothing and let nature takes its course
which is the saddest and most effective situation you could've think of

then I went to dearie's house
this siao guy tried to commit suicide
he sound like he was desperate
desperate to get out of his life
apparently one woman was injured after plunging down from the five storey flat like abt 7-8pm?
n this lunatic guy was screaming
it was intense
and the civil servant was kinda slow?
cos this whole thing
from the woman to this desperate guy
lasted about 1 hour
they have to create this big balloon thing (din know what its called)
just in case that lunatic guy intend to jump out of his flat
and some net to catch the guy in case he jump out of the flat
that guy
put his sofa vertically onto the door
so as to prevent the civil servants to get into his house
windows locked and closed
n he keeps banging his windows
obviously he looks desperate in that situation
cos when u're desperate
u bang and throw things
there were police cars, ambulances and (if I'm not wrong) fire engines
loads of reporters
and people who were watching this real drama (including me)
in the end
they got him after force-open his door
pushed the sofa
and tie him
those nets or that balloon thing werent used
dearie said they were used for precaution only
just in case he decided to jump
well
whatever it is
the net and the balloon took the most time
that guy could've been nab within 1/2hr?
since there were one casualty
(that woman who landed after plunging from the five-storey-high flat)
he could've just jump and die
which he din
he just shut his windows and doors
when they caught him
dearie was like cheering with the rest of the crowd
well
his cheer was the loudest
cos there was a loud echo which could be heard few blocks away

but finally
I came to this question:
why does he wanna make such a fuss on his miserable life?
not everyone's life is perfect
and isnt he embarrassed by making such a fuss outta it?
some have good boss and some dont
so it doesnt mean that u get the best job u r enjoying life
some have jerks as bf and some dont
so it doesnt mean that having a bf is a good thing
some are pretty and some dont
so it doesnt mean that pretty faces have the best things in life
some are rich and some dont
so it doesnt mean that rich people doesnt have problematic family issues
there are always some flaws in your life that others cant see
when you start complaining about your life
maybe you should think about how much others want to take over your life

I thought of death even before I reached Primary school
life wasnt that fantastic for me
or rather
I believe I wasnt properly brought up
when things go wrong
blame will always on me
maybe hence I came to have this habit that if things go wrong
it's always my fault
that applies to my MP too
I'm just trying to make things right for myself
I dont like to blame myself
so I try my best
or do nothing at all
but still
in every situation
things will always go wrong
and at that point of time
I always tell myself
"maybe it's because I din do this"
"I should've not done that"
self-blaming will always be the first thing in my mind
even though its not my fault

then I came across this word today:
"self-loathing"
I asked dearie wad that word means
n he said its a term to describe people who dislike themselves
and one more thing he added,
"u r always self-loathing"
cos I always say things like "I'm useless"
or "I have nothing to offer to anyone, much less a society"
or "I dont think I have any good points for myself"
yeah
maybe I've reached an extreme stage of self-loathing
praises seem very important to me
cos it's something that can tell myself how much I'm worth or something
but unfortunately
I find that people donr say it seriously
or maybe sometimes they just say it sarcastically
or maybe my self-loath really reached some kinda extreme whereby whatever nice words that come out verbally or from writing materials just doesnt help
is there a nid to prove myself?
I'm not so sure

but whatever it is
life still has got some offers for me
too much that I would really wanna try every single one of them
some events that you need in order to tell yourself that you have truely lived
so I'm not gonna die early
cos I wanna experienced that
and my funerary urn can encraved something like "truely-lived in this world from 1984 - xxxx"
because I leave this place in honor and happiness
not sorrows and stuff that I wish I could've done
hmmm
why the hell am I talking about death when my b'dae is coming?

anyway
thats just personal thoughts
I've stopped saying that I wanna die for more than a decade
to think that I tried to suffocate myself when everyone was slping
though I really hated my life
but at the same time
I'm always trying to make the best out of it
if life is that bad
why there are some people who can live and die happily?
think about that
ciaoz~

I've been thinking alot~

2006-09-17T19:48:00.000+08:00

went to dearie's house yesterday night
I believe we cant restrict each other on our meeting days
some people can dont meet their bfs for more than a month or two
me?
2 days is more than enough
cant seem to contain the anxiety of not meeting
like its a living torture
but still
it sounds like something called "till death do us part"

I've been reading xiaxue's blog yesterday(unless u prefer to call her Wendy)
her blogs are interesting
some are mind-provoking
but most of her entries are just causing headaches
as I imagine how she talks in my head while reading the blog
i can practically hear screamings and shoutings
her statements are too loud perhaps?

mon to Thurs is HX's b'dae celebration and preparation..
n dearie only work on weekends coming week
so..
I certainly hope that Fri can at Seoul Garden (he promised me)
n get a gift for people whom i'm celebrating their special occasion.
not funny worz~
cos the list is getting longer
I kinda missed out/just got informed regarding some occasions
somehow or rather
I'm beginning to like gaherings~

did i tell u dearie doesnt wanna join the orientation camp?
cos my b'dae falls on the camp date
^^
that was nice of him
if he still go on with the camp
maybe things/situations will be different when he finished his camp/orientation
but he's always sensitive
^o^

these days my appetite is scaring me
i dont feel like eating
even though I've not eaten for a day
the most I had is a meal a day
n when i gotten my food
i barely finish them
should i say
at the most I had half of quantity of a meal
and the more i stuff food into my mouth
the more nausea I feel
in the end
I'm like not having any food
I wanna eat
but somehow food doesnt interest me
not even chocolate
duncha find it weird?

just needed to change a little bit on my happenings so that I can let my mum see..
HX's 21st b'dae celebration and preparation on 18-22 sept
and dearie's sis signing the marriage certificate on 27 Sept
Jasmine's b'dae chalet on 30th Sept
and gong gong's b'dae celebration and dearie's camp mates b'dae celebration on 1st Oct
my b'dae on the 10th oct
Joey's b'dae on the 13th oct
Huiling and Eric's house warming on 14th Oct
"exercise exam" & SIP briefing on the 19th oct
ZZ's 21st b'dae on 21st Oct
then our 1st yr anniversary on Nov 1st

i have got nothing to do in his house
hopefully he comes home early
but i guess the earliest is 10pm?
latest is 11.30
3more hours to go
jia you!

alright
gtg slack
take care

Just feeling very bored...

2006-09-16T02:36:00.000+08:00

You Are Cherry Garcia Ice Cream

You're the coolest cat around, but too laid back to let it get to your head

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky.
And you're sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

You Are 30% Left Brained, 70% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group...
You're always up for a good time or conversation
And you stick with your friends no matter what
You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours.

Your look is put together, classic, and stylish. You always look fashionable without trying.

You are a very outgoing person. You are true to yourself, and you never hold back.

In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

You Are 52% Control Freak

Generally, you are in control but not a control freak. You life is usually in order.
However, sometimes you get too obsessed with making everything in your life picture perfect.

Are You A Control Freak?

You Are 48% Paranoid Schizophrenic

It's likely that you're perfectly fine, though you have your crazy moments.
You tend to be a bit paranoid, but no one's out to get you but yourself.

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

You Are a Phoenix

Driven and ambitious, you tend to acquire material success easily.
You have grand schemes - both for your own life and for changing the whole world.
You are a great leader, and you have no problem taking the reigns.
However, you aren't all business. You also have great talents for performing and visual arts.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Your Love Number is 6

Who you fall in love with is all about who you trust.
Loyalty is important to you, and you want the most faithful of lovers.
In return, you never let your heart or eyes wander.
Open and honest, your relationships tend to be free of secrets.

What Is Your Love Number?

You Are a Kinetic Learner

You learn best by doing, and you have a talent for complicated, physical tasks.
You excel at athletics, drama, and fixing things.
You would be an excellent Olympic athlete - or a Broadway star!

What's Your Learning Style?

You are 67% Pisces

How Pisces Are You?

You are 67% Libra

How Libra Are You?

You Are 55% Impulsive

You're quite impulsive, but you never are reckless.
You qualify as a very spontaneous person, but you still know how to honor your commitments.
And while responsibility doesn't come easy to you, having fun does!

Are You Impulsive?

You Are A Rowan Tree

You are full of charm and cheer. You light up a room.
And while you crave attention, you do it without ego.
You are an interesting mix of contradictions - and very unpredictable.
You are both dependent and independent, calm and restless.
You are passionate, emotional, gregarious, and (at times) unforgiving.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

You Should Be Fashion Designer

Although you're offbeat and artistic, you have a good eye for trends
You can figure out new incredible clothes to create... that will sell well!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is all about change, but in very small steps. The end of the journey looks far, but it's much closer than you realize.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.

You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.

Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

What Number Are You?

You Are 64% Happy

You are a very happy person. Generally, you feel content and that all is right with the world.
Occasionally, you have a down day - but you have the ability to pick yourself right back up.

How Happy Are You?

new blog, new life

2006-09-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

yup, yup
new blog skin
not the one I intended though
but close to it..
just change something to test my HTML knowledge
luckily it's still working

anyway
today I went to watch the complete MV of Any Motion by Hyolee Lee
my, she's hot!

charcoal drawing of Hyolee Lee from www.deviantart.com

if BoA is the goddess for voice,
then Hyolee is the goddess for body!
both are Koreans
and there are pretty girls all ard the streets (cos I've been there)
tall, nice figure and pretty
it's hard not to notice them
cos they're everywhere

well
other than changing the blog skin and drooling over Hyolee's body
I din do much
she's pretty
though not very well-known in Singapore

oh ya
talking abt Hyolee
she's like the spokesperson for Anycall
it's only available in Korea
but the phones are so much better
design-wise I mean
function-wise, not sure about it~
if it's available
I dont mind buying one

enough of craps
I'm gonna get on with life?
not sure what I wanna do
maybe work out or something
anyway
Any Motion and AnyClub part1&2 at the bottom
please take notice of their (Anycall) phones
both videos have Hyolee and Eric (Shinhwa)
the last video have Kwon Sang-Woo
abit long for MV
but i guess u'll be watching the story than noticing the songs..
enjoy!
take care
byez

disappointment beyond words

2006-09-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

well,
the much awaited results are here
I thought no one would be concerned about my results
but someone smsed me in the evening asking me how much I've got
=.=
first time?
unless I have gotten alzheimer's disease
I believe this is the first time after such a long time

well
here goes
the disappointing truth:
Trade&Transport : B
CMSK4 : C+
WSAD : B+
ECSA : C+
ECTMP : C+

guess u know why I'm disappointed
I'm feeling happy for Trade&Transport, ECSA and WSAD
and I cant be bothered with CMSK4
though I believe my brochure bring up the whole grade
cos before brochure
my CMSK4 grade barely touch a D......
but ECTMP..
if get C+
why the hell they ask my group to take part in the IT Project Show?
make me hope for A
is that the big fat reason I'm asking for?
i know if I'm still with the project
and then they gimme C+ for ECTMP
I'll surely wanna stop everything
cos its just sucks!
no motivation..like being betrayed or something
then why (the hell) is a moderator doing in the presentation?
or was the whole presentation screwed?
eh..I'm not so sure..
too many screwed things during that judgement day..
cant be bothered to think abt it..
*faints*
no energy to be angry le..
*knock head*

n u know whats the craziest thing that could've happened?
my dearie got his results too
5 As and a C+
what his brain made up of?
some textbook's formula or something?
I want that stuff in my brain too!
=.=
I'm very crazy if u ask me..
just cant contain that "humiliation"?
or sould I say "embarrassment"?
T.T

well
anyway
enough of shit
lets talk abt something else

what was I going to say?
oh..
it seems like everyone has pretty good/better results
which is good news huh? ^^

I was thinking of turning this blog into a video blog
since I have camera and a server to host all the videos
might as well do the best right?
everyone had their blog skins changed.......
I'm still looking for mine..
x.x
this is bad?
not really..
I'm a perfectionist
thats something I hate about myself..
cos nothing in this world is perfect..

I'm turning sick soon I guess
cos my head keeps rebelling
causing headaches and dizziness
oh my
when is that pain going to stop?

finished watching FMA
I wonder if there's an FMA-II?
cos it doesnt seem like an ending to me at all
it is a good ending for part 1
but the linkage of another anime series seems positive
like Dragon Ball or Gundam?
maybe~~

Joy, CC, HX , Jos and HW went for Bangkok trip
I passed it cos I've got no money to go there
hope they return safely
and enjoy themselves there..

most probably I'm going to Genting Highlands after SIP with Dearie
while S, J, M and some other people I dunno go to Bangkok again
yeah, yeah..
like Bangkok is the most attractive place to go right now
everyone seems to be going there..
I'm just plain jealous!
cos I cant go..
T.T

alright
gtg
hate this entry..
bye~

exercise day T.T

2006-09-13T06:20:00.000+08:00

couldnt get to slp
I'm like a light sleeper these days
slpt early and wake up damned early too
I just slpt at 12mn
n woke up at 3am
n I couldnt slp anymore

yesterday was weird
what did i do?
hmmzz..
besides drawing on day before
I went to create a blog for dearie and me
but i guess the first entry will be on nov 1st,
which is our first year..

soon we'll be rather bz
with HX's b'dae celebration next week
and dearie's sis signing the marriage certificate on Wed of the week after next
and gong gong's b'dae celebration on Children's Day
my b'dae on the 10th
Joey's b'dae on the 13th
"exercise exam" & SIP briefing on the 19th
then our 1st yr anniversary on Nov 1st
it seems like this and coming month i'm rather bz!!
after which is the SIP..
T.T
hope i get to a nice company if SengKang CC doesnt want me..
oops..
I forgot I have to do resume for SIP
silly me!

I showed Dearie the sketching
he said look like some snake goddess or something
=.=
maybe too many thick lines~
which were meant to be cloth and light

after which we went jogging
man that was tiring
we din jog much
cos Bibi* was tagging along
(i insisted cos dearie promised to jog/walk Bibi* at Bedok Reservoir Park)
but Bibi* stamina is low
cos nv exercise
my stamina is low too
but not as low as hers
cos she really entirely nv really excercise in her life
Dearie was disappointed
cos I'm like so weak
cos he said, "at least u did sweat..."
T.T
n he din jog much too
he said he's like not excercising
so he said something like we'll do that again tml without Bibi
alright..
hope I'm not running like some ape (with those lifeless arms) or something
- *Bibi is dearie's bitch (female dog, in case u misunderstood)

after jogging/walking we went to dearie's house
bathed Bibi and dry her up
then Bibi start to follow me wherever I go
ya, n start to lick my legs too
she's so sweet
but what's memorable is to be able to do things together with Dearie
that's just some sweet memories to keep ^^

then after that we watched FMA with our dinner
man..
watch until I wanna slp
n the storyline's kinda complicated
maybe i'll rewatch it sometime
maybe i wasnt concentrating
maybe I was so tired
whatever it is
I hope the ending clears my thoughts

I guess I'm a fickle minded person
cos I really dont feel like working right now
after SIP still have to work to clear my tution debts
yeah
u can say I'm feeling lazy
I wont deny that
n I just wanna stay at home n draw
cos i believe love (dearie) and drawing is the passion that makes me live
money is next..
I'm living in poverty
though I would like to change that poverty thingy
I would rather fuel my passion before changing my miserable life
because Dearie will be too bz for me when sch reopens
he's gonna work and study
me?
maybe passion makes me live when those days come
and money will come when SIP starts
maybe not a lot of money
but enough to satisfy me
enough of my lazy theory
we shall see how it goes
whatever makes me happy~ *winkz-*

alright
gtg nap a while
take care
ciaoz~

Everything happens for a reason............

2006-09-11T15:48:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to Suntec, MS and City Link for shopping
shopping by myself lahz~
while Dearie's working
I go shop ard for like 4 hrs
initially it was hard to pass
n I almost faint
nowadays feel giddy easily
head is killing me these days

I went to see the clothes
hopefully can get some for dearie
even though no money
I still wanna pamper him when I do have the money
which I dun

I remember asking dearie what I mean to him
u know me
asking stupid questions all the time
so I kinda demanded an answer
n he said something about having warm fire in a cold empty place (if i'm not wrong)
seriously
I dun get what he meant
=.=
so he was smiling and doesnt wanna tell me what it meant
he said, "I'll sms u the meaning when I'm going to slp."
=.="
so I din really think about it anyway
cos i know he'll tell me
*wink*
so I went to do my stuff
n the sms came
he explained it in such a way that we share the same values and views in life
but something I dun get it is
what has it got to do with fire and cold?
maybe i'll ask him later..

well,
much to disappointment
the IT Project Show has been called off
not because we were not up to standard
but because my team doesnt wanna do it

what can I say?
though when prompt to give an answer on whether we wanted to join the IT Project Show
I knew such things will happen
thats y i hestitated
because I really wanted to be part of the IT Project Show
but the conflicts we faced
I would call it a rather difficult path to take
at some point of time I did thought of just getting a job and let go of this dream of mine
but thru Joy and dearie's encouragement that made me pluck up the courage to challenge the impossible
now?
I can only sigh to myself
telling myself that everything happens for a reason
& seriously
I demand a big fat reason for this
more money for me when I go out to work part time soon?
I certainly hope so

I've been sketching today
though it took less than 5 hours to finish a sketch
quite slow huh?
but anyway
the sketch I did was a combination of a deity and a fairy
the oriental mix western woman
weird?
i thought so too
it may become my blogskin
I'm gonna learn how to build a blogskin from scratch
n hopefully I can implant some flash or something
but before all these
maybe I can just learn a trick or two on enhancing pictures digitally
n learn how to make a beautiful flash
n meanwhile I go n take temp. job
and go train for oct19
though the SEAL point doesnt matter to me anymore
cos I dont intend to further studies anymore
maybe I'll further studies when I have the money
but that will be secondary unless I've paid the tution loan
I'm always poor
T.T

anyway
in case u din notice
TP exam results is on 14th Sept
3more days~!!
hopefully no supp for me
*pray*

but now my most headache problem is the temp. job
I'm picky even though I tell others dun be picky
I'm basically not picky in salary
more on the work load
seems like simple is the best
and the more the better
but no take-home-and-do work
i nid job to occupy my time
n to earn extra money
simple as that

why i started to talk about my dream job?
anyway
I think I'm going nuts
I'm going to eat soon I guess
no appetite and lack of slp
I feel like a zombie
till the next time
enjoy ur holiday before the results! (TP students)
enjoy ur days to the fullest! (everyone)
ciaoz~

::passion is the thing that keeps people moving.
without it, you find no meaning in life.
so, what is ur passion?::

my stopped time

2006-09-10T03:00:00.000+08:00

my time has stopped
my life has stopped
everyone's life seems to be moving with time
but mine did not move

I seemed to be stuck
stuck in a black hole
a black hole with many dimension
and I couldn't get out of it

I wished I can get on with my life
I wished I can do something to occupy my mind
though it may sound easy
I just did not take a step out of it

am I afraid?
am I lazy?
or I just choose to stay this way
this, I do not know

give me the strength to live
please give me the strength to step out
for life is too short
to stay in this stopped time...

Dilemma

2006-09-07T05:18:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to dearie's house after presentations
n spent a night there
watching the korean show

though we were tired
dearie still went to his L.E.A.D. camp
while I went home and sleep
till 3pm..
my supervisor smsed me
asking me if I still wanna go with the IT Project Show

I asked him some questions
he answered what I asked
but the main problem is
how much the group wants to be part of this event?
I'm a team person
without a team
I may not work as well as I can with a team
I called my groupmates
one of them din wanna take it
n the other just din pick up the phone
one more in China
that pretty much left me alone
deciding if I wanna go
of course I wanna go
I wanna take up the challenge
so I took up the offer
......alone......

but whatever it is
without a team
the project is still called off
either way
I just dont wanna leave any regrets to myself
I'm just trying my best to proof myself worthy
to who?
I'm not sure
to whoever who despise me?
^^

but no doubt this news has made me feeling super stressed again
but all and all
i believe there's nothing I can do about it
get on with it or never get to the show
my path is my own decision

anyway
gtg
headache
take care
n wish me luck..

MP director review

2006-09-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

my body is getting weaker
is it because I ate too much?
or I just nid some glucose for my blood?
keep feeling dizzy..
like the world's spinning..
thats wad happened this morning...................

today I saw some amazing programs..
and come to think of it
I din know how much I wanted to get into the IT Project Show
I want that cash prize
but somehow or rather
I'm feeling kinda tired..
maybe because of how badly the whole group management is going
and some of the incomplete features of the project
i din expect it to be so tiring..
but thats how the whole thing is going
Irreversible..
i dun like my current situation at all..
but thats the way it is..

I find that something's going really wrong in my head
its like my passion for life is gone
n it seems like theres no reason to live
even for arts or project or even personal relationships..
it just seems like i cant do anything right
is there something wrong with my hormones?
or I'm just feeling down?
I'm always self-questioning everyday
but somehow, my conclusions are always "thats the way it is" or "it doesnt matter anymore"
there is always a sense of pity
like everything could've been better

alright
enough of whining
gtg
bye~

first holiday weekend

2006-09-03T18:07:00.000+08:00

wow
my exams ended on Fri..
although the Trade and Transport was badly done..
but I certainly hope that everything will get at least a passing grade

anyway
on Fri I received a call from Lindy..
she told me that our MP is selected for Director's viewing
if selected,
we're able to take part in the IT Project Show!
that was overwhelming!
my wish & desire to what I wanted from day 1 of MP actually come true!
to get into the IT Project show
the media and everything..
the idea of being selected was rather miraculous!

anyway
enough of being overwhelmed..
Fri I went to the newly renovated Tampines Swimming Complex..
well
went there to enjoy the jacuzzi..
actually dearie wanted to teach me how to swim..
but cos of my swimming costume..
I cant swim...
just because of my tankini's disappearance..
I've got no choice but to wear my bikini..
n surely will 'zao gen' one~
so nv swim..

I received the good news after I finish swimming
so dearie and I went to Sakae Sushi for lunch cum dinner..
and then went to walk around the Tampines Central..
n finally couldnt walk anymore because we're all tired..
n went to dearie's house for nap..
woke up at abt 9pm..
watched animes and had supper..
then went back to slp again..
just wanna relax before next week..
dearie had L.E.A.D. camp and Autocad class to go..
n I have to start finding a job to kinda support myself..
n oso to lessen burden of my parents

anyway
we woke up really late on sat
then we went to meet HX and MZ
celebrating MZ's 21st birthday
had a really great time..
we went to V8 at Bugis
and went to take pictures
then went to Tampines to meet Joy..
so the 5 of us went to watch "The Break Up"
initially wanted to watch "Monster House" or "The Devil Wears Prada"
but the devil starts at 12mn
and monster house's seats were 2 rows from the front..
in the end we watch break up, which was 4 rows from the front

I was laughing all the way throughout the movie..
not because of my girlfriends who were feeling sad about one scene or another
but because the way and why people quarrel..
sometimes its just some stupid things that trigger such a scary conflict between couples,
co-workers, family members or even friends..
thats the way life is..
when everything is different to every human
this kinda conflict is inevitable..
thats why "compromise" pose a greater part in life..
n sometimes people just dun compromise
because they do not know its importance

the pictures we took before reaching Tampines

anyway
Sun is a lazy day..
initially should be going to the Paya Lebar Air Base (Thomas's suggestion)
but Dearie wanted to relax and enjoy this last day..
cos tml he got Autocad lessons..
so nv go..

but anyway
this has been a great weekend..
Happy early 21st Birthday MZ!
alright..
gtg..
take care folks..
till then~
Cheers~!

AhHhHh~

2006-08-26T19:57:00.000+08:00

wo-hoo~!
my line will be back to normal..
in about an hr's time..
later I'm going to msg Julia for her kind help..
then msg Dearie that its back!
I'm quite happy about it..
thank my parents for making it possible!
love u guys~ ^^

these days I'm like so hungry..
like i've starved myself for months..
I kept eating n eating..
n I believe I'm going to go fat soon..
but the point is..
I'm quite happy that I nv feel hungry..
cos that feeling kinda sux..
I'm going to work..
so that my parents wun have to worry about me..
especially my pay..
n I'm gonna work hard to pay my tution fee loan..

anyway
I went to Popular Tampines Mall..
n saw the author of True Singapore's Ghost Stories, Russell Lee..
yeah..
as usual..he masked his face..
n practically u cant see his flesh..
just clothes..
dun he feel hot inside?
weird?
I din dare to take a photo of him cos nobody did..
n I was afraid that something terrible will happen to me if I took his picture or something..
not sure if I read it from his books or wadsoeva..
maybe just my perspection..
:P

oh ya..
I went to Charles and Keith..
totally in lurveeee with the heels there!
those roses collection..
u know last year was ribbons?
now its roses!
n I'm gonna buy one for myself..
maybe that's for my dresses..
haha..
n maybe buy for CNY (a little too early for that~ =.=)

tues gonna go workout at the gym at tampines swimming complex
and go swimming after workout..
I'm gonna relax..
before mugging hard for WSAD..
I cant study few days in advance..
there'll always have bits n pieces missing by the time I reach the exam hall..
it's always best to study 1-2 days in advance..
at least 80% of the memories accumulated for the subject is there..
so tues just go relax for my exam battle of two days..
shouldnt be that bad I hope..

I've had a weird experience on the last day of hungry ghost festival..
some guy approached me at the park near Joey's house while I was on the way home..
he asked me for my number!
at the park where every neighbour seems to be burning hell notes~?!
for a moment I thought he was some spirit who come ka jiao me..
but he pass me his hp..n it was some new hp model from Nokia..
so shouldnt be "hao xiong di"..
scare the hell out of me..
but u know what?
i gave him the wrong number..
but either way..
that's just some weird experience I've got during that night..
luckily my phone isnt working..
so heng heng?
if not surely call me to check if its the right number right in front of me..
phew~

I've been thinking about something really serious..
something that struck me for sometime now..
about giving up ur kids who're physically weak or disabled..
or keep on hoping and encouraging them?
I used to think that the latter was some silly idea.
but someone or something made me changed my mind..
even though the reality is harsh
no matter what, no parents will give up their child..
no matter how weak their child is..
giving them up will never cross any parent's mind
I'm not sure why..
even if parents are physically tired about the whole situation..
they always finds the strength to encourage and support their child
thats why they are noble people..
thats the power of kinship I guess..

yeah..
that was wad I was thinking..
abit unnecessary..
but thats something to think about if u're bored..
I was feeling bored I guess..
dearie was always bz with games, anime or friends..
so I daydream to kill time
got no money for retail therapy
*wink*
gonna bomb Shervon's phone when my line's back..
I nid my works..
terribly~
nvm..
got nothing to talk abt le..

gtg folks..
good luck with exams, life, work, fun, wadever..
bye~

What a terrible week..

2006-08-23T14:37:00.000+08:00

every morning when I wake up
my mon presentation keeps flashing back
n it was unbearable..

anyway
have to inform ppl who're anticipating my hp's line recovery
i'll have to say either this weekend or next week
if unfortunately I couldnt retrieve my line
I may have to send u a new hp number in time to come
n hopefully I can get a new phone too.. *smile*
i guess thats me..
when everything just come crashing down
I'll just think of the good things that will happen after the crashing of situation

anyway
yesterday went to national library to study
we wanted to go to the study area in national library
but unfortunately it was full
not even a place to sit..
but national library is huge!
and their study area have vending machines of coffee, snacks, bottle of drinks..
with bright sunlight brightening the whole room..
it was really a nice place to study..
but the rest of the library cannot have food or drinks or bags or notes to go with us..
I certainly hope that they can make the study area into one big floor,
n not just one small room that is not even 1/4 of the drama floor..
we went to B1 in search of tables and chairs..
but to no avail
places that allows studying are the study room and B1
which are all packed with people who read and study
so we gave up studying in national library
wad a wasted trip..

we went to catch a movie instead..
I wanted to watch "Click"
but dearie wants to watch "Ghost Game"
I'm a timid mouse
so I was like giving him that please-don't-watch-this-movie face..
but in the end we watched that horror flick..
that show..not exactly horror
but it has some history to it..
Case 17 in Thailand..
the command Jium is a monster..
he killed his soldiers and captives during his birthday
n commited suicide after killing them..
so when he died..
he's killing everyone at that place where he died every year (as ghost)..
rating: 2/5
not scary enough, but the suspense is there..
everything will come to a clear picture when its finishing..
but left one stupid moment at the last scene that will make you ask yourself what is happening..
yeah..
so not exactly clear with the ending..
=.=

when I went to dearie's home for dinner..
we came across this smoking topic..
he told me that he couldnt quit smoking
n he feels that he is being restricted or something..
(cos I told him he can only smoke one cigarette every 12hours)
n he ask why I'm with him when I couldnt bear the smell of cigarettes..
I told him my ans and told him that if he never quit smoking
i make sure that our stage of relationship will always be what it is
i also dropped the idea of restricting him..
let him have some own-time-own-target basis on quit smoking..
i'm kinda tired of arguing on the same topic over n over again..
plus my recent setbacks on fyp..
n my computer breakdown..
plus my hp payment..
it's piling up..
n i still have to take care of my exams..
its tiring..
so i just drop the whole thing..
i dun wish to quarrel on such minor things in the future..
abt his health n mine..
n i dun wish to be passive smoker all my life too..
too many complications that will affect our relationship
so just let it be..

anyway,
today's supposed to be a study day..
so I'm going to mug on my ECSA..
n push every bad situations happening to the back of my head..
I'm very tired..
I feel like I'm draining my every single blood out of my body
so that I can paint a beautiful picture using my blood
its like I'm pushing every limits of me
so that I can handle everything well in my life..
everyone says I'm too hard on myself..
maybe that's because I'm never satisfied with what I have..
always pushing my limits..
n everyone's too..

take care folks..
thats all I can say
n do..
whatever it is..
good luck in whatever you do..
bye~

FYP nightmare's over.....after effect is taking place~

2006-08-21T23:05:00.000+08:00

finally
the much anticipated FYP presentation is over
n we were quite excited about it when it is about to end..
but after the 1hr preparations, I realised that my anticipation went down the drain

this is not the ending I want..
I want it to be a nice, fulfilling and comforting ending
telling me that I've worked hard enough for this sem and my product is good enough for FYP..
but thats not the case..
everything's screwed..
functions that has been working for fews months just told my evaluator, supervisor, moderator and fellow members that it is not working..
needless to say,
even the presentation is screwed..
everything's screwed..
even if we get to pass
the passing rate is D or C..
and thats not what i want..

i dunno wad Mr. Liew and Mrs Fang is gonna give us..
but seriously
the team is down..
if there is a SIP on the FYP..
I'm not sure if I wanna take..
cos I'm so afraid that everthing will repeat itself again..
n these are tedious..
it has pushed me to depression
n its not a figure of speech..
it's the real depression thingy u saw in those advertisement..
I've been kinda crying non-stop the moment I got to dearie's house..
this is too much to take..
my effort..my confidence in the product..everything~
just kinda went down the drain
luckily dearie n mum has been supportive.
n Lindy n gang~
if not I surely cry like there's no tomorrow..

straight after the presentation
I kinda went straight to dearie's house..
the bus seems to take years to come..
n while I've been trying to hold my tears at TP bus stop
I kept distracting myself by asking myself when the bus's going to come..
n even the thought of having a moderator in the presentation is flattering
but I just feel really sorry that our group did not present the best we could..
the disappointment in every lecturers' faces..
seriously, at that pt I really wish that I can just hide my whole face in the photocopy machine
anyway,
back to the bus
so I went to dearie's house..
the moment I'm in his room..
I cried and cried..
n he's just there to hold n comfort me..
I cried cos my effort has gone down the drain..
because there's no 2nd chance to present again..
after that I slpt through like 6 hrs from 3.30pm
I slptalk in case u din know abt it..
n I was scolding "asshole" during my slp
am I that "xiang bu kai"?
n sadly, after I wake up
I resume my crying session..
thats the first time I'm going to cry so hard for school work..
n I believe there's more to come in the future..

I really try to "xiang kai" a bit..
but really hard lah..
I cant seem to have appetite
n i've been putting a strong front..
saying that i can take what is going on
but the fact is i cant..
maybe the exams will just kinda distract me from thinking abt it
but its really hard to really forget abt it..
i think I'll blame myself for some years..
but if given a chance
I'll try my very best to create a new Seng Kang CC LAN project..
N I mean what I say..
to cover this empty feeling of achievement that I'm having
n maybe I'll live happier..

anyway, its like over..
enough of it
tml is my start of revision..
make the best out of it..
take care..
ciaoz~

PS: Ms Joey wanted to announce that her 21st birthday is on October~muahahahahahahaha~ 6 days before SIP briefing! count it urself!

~wow~

2006-08-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

haha..
finally, the last week..
I guess till this day,
whoever took fyp in poly will hate it to the core..
because its really hard..
maybe except engineering students
cos they have almost a yr to do their fyp

these few days were weird..
cos lecturers come n view our projects..
within a day that is..
it was weird..
n after conversation between our grp, mr Liew and mr Eng
we realised that there is another lecturer who are involved in the presentation who are not evaluator or supervisor..
their title is called moderator..
these lecturers will go ard the presentation grps..
n see what they have to say..
they're only present at going to fail grps n going to A grps..
moderators make sure that there is no personal grudges from supervisors against the grp who is failing
or make sure that the going-to-be-A group deserves A
so they're like QC: check quality~
but either way
the whole thing abt fyp presentation still freaks me out~

however,
I shall stop daydreaming
because there are too many things to do..
the codings by tml..
presentation and evaluation and report deadline is mon..
we have so many things to do..
n so little time..
from 9-6..
9hrs to handle all exceptions and codings..
combinations of web n windows application..
till now I cant get to slp..
I just want to get over n done with it - nicely n perfectly..
shit..my perfectionist character is always there!
but whatever it is..
may God bless me everyday~
^^

yesterday was Julia's 21st birthday~
congrats!
so many people joining the 21st arena
n soon enough..
I'm joining the 22nd's...
oh ya
n not to mention MZ and HX
they're joining 21st soon..
within the span of a month's time
soon enough,
we'll be waiting for our youngest jie mei to turn 21.. ^^
how exciting!
but this yr is going to be my broke yr..
been chipping in prezzies and hongbaos..
luckily no red bomb for me..
if not really bankrupt..

I certainly hope that I enjoy myself before SIP..
maybe slog like a pig before SIP..
the whole holiday n semester will be my slogging season..
n not to mention shopping time!
have to be independent..
I'm too dependent on dearie..
feel so weak n useless..
I'm going to have some major depression soon..
cos I feel paranoid and pessimistic..

alright..
start to feel tired n restless..
gtg rest n prepare for last battle tml!
take care folks..
ciaoz~

Roller-coaster ride

2006-08-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

well,
I supposed I havent been blogging for donkey years now..
well, maybe not that long..just some donkey weeks..
but hell, it's been tough on me..

lets start with the good things..
TP actually asked Microsoft to come and talk to us..
since we're using their software to create something beautiful..
but cut that out, it's been a wonderful talk..
there's the America's famous programmer Gibbs, and application developer Chewy..
interesting as it seems, cos there are more to what we learnt..
just the creativity juice that pumps everything to get working..
n its cool..

n some weeks back Dearie and I went to Paragon and saw this 'exhibition' organised by Nuyou
n they displayed T-shirts created by famous people,
as well as some interesting outfit by designers (if I'm not wrong)
i'll display the pictures later..

besides that,
our beautiful Joy and CC has just turned 21!
it seems like evreyone's turning 21..
anyway, MZ, HX, Julia, Jasmine are turning 21 between now to october..
which means more burnt pockets for me..
T.T

alright..nows the bad thing..
I'm not sure how Joey is now,
but I heard that her mum's at home..
I certainly hope everything's fine..

n my fyp..
I certainly hope everything will be over soon..
It's taking too much from me..
n my other subjects..
everything's hell in school..
too many things to do..
n too little time..

too many things has happened between friends, family and school..
which I dun think I'm gonna talk abt it..
I'm an open book as in u know I'm feeling upset or happy..
but u can nv know what is going on in my head..
I have every explanation in everything I do..
just as I have my principles to follow..
although it's getting compromised as time goes by..
I still nid some principles to live with..
cos I dun wanna be some dog who go with everyone's opinion..
n when I'm upset with something..
I am very upset with it..
otherwise..
I'm fine..n happy..

oh ya..
I just got a bad news saying that my grandpa's brother and sister-in-law from China is coming to Singapore..
they'll be visiting each of our houses..
but either way..
it'll still be like a culture exchange in our houses..
n I guess u're surprised abt my relatives from China..
yeah..
I have lots of them there..
but I'm not from China..
I'm a Singaporean k..
but the language barrier will be there cos they dun speak Mandarin
they speak Hainanese..
n I know nuts abt it..
but still..
I 'm just gonna smile n nod..
whichever is applicable..

spent too much time on this..
gotta go..
ciao..

below are the pictures:

JJ Lin un Jie's T-shirt

apparently I only took JJ's T-shirt..there are Fan WeiQi's, Angela Zhang's, Kym Ng's and many more..
abt 12 - 15 T-shirts designed by Singers, Actors and Hosts. The rest are by designers or designer-to-be~

nothing special~I guess..

2006-06-28T11:00:00.000+08:00

well
its been quite a long time since I posted something
but ironically, it seems like there are more visitors than usual..
was it the pictures from the previous posts or it is just that people miss me?
nvm
I think too much
haha

anyway
i've had a tough week
going to school everyday is like a daily routine for me
ever since mon, i've been visiting school more than I eat..
n seriously, i dun think i eat a lot
all those junk food made me tummy upset..
cos it finally kinda had its own riot yesterday
it still hurts, but not as bad as yesterday

it was really stressed
to think that there are like 4projects going on is driving me nuts
n I dun think i've done any
which is worse
anyway
it(stress) almost reached its peak when dearie can play maple n I cant
i'm a competitive person..
so when it comes to levels
i just cant lose to him
but nvm
i've already lost like siao~
heck it..
I'm focusing on my studies..
ask him to play for me when he's free
*wink*

I'm like so broke these days
I havent paid my bill like 2months..
n its piling
n the funny thing is
I got cravings for good food!
other than that
I really wanna buy a pair of pants from Foxy..
which..obviously dun have the money to buy
like so dying to be part of the Great Singapore Sale
n this is really bad!
oh ya
we also spent some money on maple cards
n i got myself a new hairstyle
not impressive though
cos the hairstyle i chose doesnt look good on my magie~
like have to change again?
its damned ex lo
more than 10bucks for a virtual hairstyle
T.T

whatever that is
I'm going to get back to my work
yes,I'm in fyp lab
just trying to take a break here
take care folks..
take some pictures for u the next time~

term break week 1

2006-06-14T16:49:00.000+08:00

its been more than a week since i've blogged
sorry for the long wait..
anyway,
last week was term test week..
tues to thurs are all term test..
quite disappointed in WSAD..
but the rest should be ok..-*I hope*-

anyway,
i shall start my entry from thurs..
since my term test ends on that day
after test I was at home..
n I kinda went to slp..
actually wanted to go out with Dearie to celebrate the end of term test
but...we kinda cancelled it..
not sure for wad..

Fri has been a happening day for Dearie n me..
we went to Liang Court
the one we've been talking abt but nv get to go
so that day we made an effort to go Liang Court..
we spent like few hrs there..
mostly on the Japanese Supermarket..
man..
Dearie was so excited!
he love food..
n going there seems to be a new experience for him.
he bought this Japanese mayonaise..
which was like so nice!
haha
then after thinking that there was nothing else to shop at Liang Court
we went to Marina Square..
we wanted to shop since the mall is like 80% complete..
it is bigger than the past..
we saw lots of shops that stayed on before the construction began..
n we got to see some exhibition held there..
the product and architecture design..
man it was way cool..
there are refreshments like everywhere at that place..
and we took some pictures..
which will be below..
then after a long day
we decided to go home by 9pm
haha..
cos Dearie wanted to chiong MS..
T.T

anyway
I'm like back to MS to pei dearie..
n we like very chiong these days
nv get to slp..
on sat 3am dearie came to my hse
with MacDonald's..
n we were playing MS(I have 2 computers at home: 1 mine, 1 sis's)
n we played till 11am..
man we were tired..
haha
but we enjoyed ourselves..
that lasted till Mon..
like we slp, then wake up n play..
we really chiong..
then my sis were like back at sun night..
so dearie made plans to go home at mon evening..
but after he reach home we chiong again..

now i'm back to projects..
I really miss those times..
but still, its some good memories to keep

here are some pictures that took on fri: Liang Court stuff and the Japanese Mayonaise

the apple is bigger than my hand... & the Japanese Mayonaise

the Exhibition

here are all the models presented

and the pictures presented

I was having my cousin's wedding dinner at Carlton Hotel Singapore

it's like so long ago since I've sttended a wedding dinner

the last time was when I was 12?

anyway, sometimes just by thinking about wedding

it makes u feel weird abt it, n yet longing for it..

thats a mixed funny feelings

but anyway the door gift is really nice..

a traditional hainanese snack with a magnet..
and there are roses everywhere in the ballroom..
hope u enjoy these pictures too..

alright

i gtg..

tml is a long day for me!

take care folks

bye~

the last week of the term

2006-06-04T23:39:00.000+08:00

mon..
all was usual..
but i was so damned sleepy
I couldnt concentrate..
not in WSAD or ECSA..
n btw..
CMSK4 wants us to present our proposal
=.=
wad a last min thing
but everyone presented until like 9.30..
1hr30mins for 20++people to present..
still
I was really slpy..
the moment I got home I kinda slp..
till the next morning
wad a pig I am

tues..
I was doing nothing..
fyp meeting seems to be like nothing's on
for fyp n ecsa it was a pretty slack week
I was in school trying to download the VS2005..
took me..2hrs++ to install..
I almost slpt in the lab..
damned boring
n nobody's in the lab except Tommy..
then later he went for his fyp meeting
n i left the moment he came back from his meeting
which was like...4++?
I needed the vs2005 for the lab grading

wed
I was trying to figure out how to do the lab grading which I have to pass up on Thurs..
man I was crashed..
I couldnt do anything right..
n that slpy mode from mon is still there..
that was killing me
I stay at fyp lab just to figure out how I should do the lab
=.=
n the lab kinda became DotA's LAN Game shop
everyone's playing it!
n literally those who aren't playing it are either doing their fyp stuff or wsad stuff..
nobody pay attention to each other..
in the end
I did what I could for the lab grading
n went home 3/4 dead

thurs..
well..
the wsad's lab grading is not going well for me..
I guess it's fine
I don't aim for As
I just wanna get off this sem..
with no failures
getting a gd grade is a bonus which I still hope for
but I guess only in Arts I would like to score an A in everything
not in IT..
the day ended early also..
had meeting with Joshua too..
then went home after that
Josh said no meeting till the term test is over
no work should be focus on fyp until term test is over
but u know what?
we're lagging back on time again
a week to get all basic function working is like..
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed..
I seemed to have a lot to do for my staff
T.T
God bless me

Fri..
working on ECSA le..
n it's for term test btw
but I couldnt focus
then whole thing drag till sat..

sat..
went to KFC with my granny and mum
then we went shopping for dinner
granny taught me 2 very delicious and healthy meals..
and I think I'm gonna prepare those on my 1st anniversary with Dearie..
anyway, I went to fix my computer n it's due to lossen screws that made the whole PC unable to operate..
I've also studied my ECSA..
have to find missing topics that I couldnt find on the slides and my report..
work till5.30am..
that was tedious..

sun..
woke up at 2.45
bathed and everything because there's a special occasion
Dearie's ah-ma's birthday is today
she's 82 years old
I was invited to such a big event by Dearie's family
n it was really a gd experience..
we went to Laguna International for dinner..
firstly the chef went in to greet ah-ma..
then he presented this super big 'tao' in..
there are 83 small 'taos' inside and outside the big 'tao'..
and it's to celebrate ah-ma's birthday..
made specially for her..
that was really nice..
83'taos'..it was finished even before the dinner ended
cos it's really nice n cute!
then we had our main course..
it's a chinese restaurant..so there're a lot of other stuff going on after the 'tao'
everyone sang a birthday song for ah-ma
n then left after taking photos with her
ah-ma wanted to sing karaoke..
so Dearie and I went home first cos of term test..

the 'tao': unopened

the 'tao':opening

the 'tao': more 'xiao tao' inside big 'tao'

the birthday cake

cannot display ah-ma's picture because the pictures are not with us..

anyway, it's something that I don't normally see when in other restaurant..

maybe that's the diff between country club restaurant and solo restaurant

hope u enjoy this entry more than other entries..

cya..

gonna go study wsad le..

take care..

bye~

sweet n wise teachings

2006-05-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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*** WISE ***
A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream.
The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food.
The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him.
She did so without hesitation.
The traveler left, rejoicing in his great fortune.
He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.
But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.
"I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone."

-----------------
*** OLD is PRETTY***
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.
Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" said a girl in the line said to the little fella.
Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him.
"I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek.
Freckles are beautiful.
"The boy looked up, "Really?"Of course," said the grandmother.
"Why... just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles.
"The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, Wrinkles."